update on my stepfather...

well..
saturday when mom called me she told me that he seems to be ok and that I was right – it was bothering her far more then it was bothering him because he was up walking around and talking to people. She went there to have dinner with him and he seemed ok..ate his dinner even said that he was full after..and the meal there was smaller then what she usually serves so perhaps he will lose a few pounds while heâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s there. I told her heâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s eating less now because at home he was bored..and since there was nothing else to do..may as well eat. Which I will admit I do sometimes as well.. especially in the winter. Anyway, everything seemed to be ok on saturday.she was fairly happy. Sunday however, is a different story. She called me late around 9 pm almost in tears. Apparently he didnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t sleep well on saturday night and when she went for dinner..he was upset. He wanted to go home with her..and told her if she doesnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t take him home,it will be over between them. the relationship would end. So she basically told him that she was going home and would talk to him later and slowly walked away from him…
she already called me today and she seems fine…
so..I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t know what to think. iâ€m going wednesday to see him

Expect ups and downs. It won't all be smooth sailing. But that's not a bad start. Sending lots of that this is a good thing for all concerned.

It's such a hard adjustment for him AND all of you so don't expect it to go great at first! I remember my grandma when she was 85 first went into a nursing facility (she had leg surgery and couldn't move around except by a wheelchair). She was ok with it the first couple days then got mad and wouldn't talk to us for a few days. She complained about the people there, the food and well, everything. The nurse said that's very normal. Within a month or so, we had to make an appointment with her because she was just too busy there with her friends! It's a slow process and it will get better!
Lots of for all of you!

Originally Posted by rapunzel47

Expect ups and downs. It won't all be smooth sailing. But that's not a bad start. Sending lots of that this is a good thing for all concerned.

Click to expand...

Originally Posted by lil maggie

It's such a hard adjustment for him AND all of you so don't expect it to go great at first! ......
It's a slow process and it will get better!
Lots of for all of you!

Click to expand...

It was already said above, this is a big adjustment for your stepdad. Not only does he have to adjust to sleeping in a different bed than home, he also has to adjust to not having control over anything.... that is the main thing that gets to most people. Having to depend on others for things you feel you should be able to do yourself.

Take meals for example. When at home, he has the control... He can get whatever he want, when he wants.... in the hospital, he cannot.

Having your independance taken away is hard on most people and tends to make people feel low ( depressed, angry, etc)

So please, don't think your stepdad's aggitation, is because of something your mom or you did....ok.

thanks..everyone..I needed that. I understand his frustration a little more then mom does.and trying to get her to understand it ..is very hard. I know she's scared of being alone and not having him there. its going to be very hard for her.and me to some extent but not as much as her. I've spent a lot of time alone..before Jim came along...and I 'm used to it..she has never spent any length of time alone.so its gonna be very hard. She seemed fairly upbeat today though when i talked to her on the phone