ever since my DD and I had a little quibble, I've been bummed.
I guess the bottom line is, I'm a little jealous over how my daughter loves her father's gf. It wouldn't hurt if it wasn't for the fact that Kendra completely ignores me when her stepmom is here. They(her dad and stepmom) took her to her year end cadet bbq tonight, then came in afterwards to explain some cadet camp stuff to me. My daughter is hanging all over this woman, who is a nice girl and I do get along with her, and completely ignoring me.
She went to bed and didn't even give me a hug
We always hug...even nights that we yell and scream at each other, we ALWAYS hug and say gnight/I love you. It is something I've instilled in my family.... because you never know... but she of course hugged her step mom several times just prior to this.
she came back down, and I was honest with her (she asked why I was crying).... (it was more than just the no hug) and now I just feel like crap. Very sad and depressed.
lonely... I miss my hubby (seeing her dad and his woman, they just got engaged on Sunday... kinda rubbed it in a little more that I miss my hubby).
Doesn't help that its my "womanly time" right now, so I'm extra sensitive.
I am also well overdue for some me time. Sure I have the days by myself, but I'm trapped in my own home...well that's how it feels.
I really really need to get away. Last time I got some quality time away was the first wk of last Sept. I took a 22hr bus ride up North to see a friend for 4 days.. When i came back, WOW, what a difference in me. My hubby and I, it was like when we got married, or when we first fell in love. Me and my kids, were so happy to see each other... It was refreshing.
I'm getting to that breakdown point again. I don't know, maybe I'll take off this weekend, I just don't know where. I just know that I need to before I break or the family has issues...(unfortunately, my family, kids and dh, their moods are based on mine... if I'm not depressed, then we have a good time, all get along, etc. When I am depressed, they get down a bit too.... they don't want to piss me off, or make me more sad, etc... so they walk on eggshells).
I'm also at a loss because of not smoking. I don't know what to do instead. Normally, when I'm crying, I go have a smoke and the crying is done. I don't know what to do instead, aside from continue to be down. (I have no urge/desire/want/need for a smoke whatsoever)
I feel lost.
anyways if you made it this far, thx for listening. I'll be over it by morning...usually am. I'm just venting/whining/whatever... dunno what else to do LOL. Used to smoke, now I whine to TCS.
I guess the bottom line is, I'm a little jealous over how my daughter loves her father's gf. It wouldn't hurt if it wasn't for the fact that Kendra completely ignores me when her stepmom is here. They(her dad and stepmom) took her to her year end cadet bbq tonight, then came in afterwards to explain some cadet camp stuff to me. My daughter is hanging all over this woman, who is a nice girl and I do get along with her, and completely ignoring me.
She went to bed and didn't even give me a hug
she came back down, and I was honest with her (she asked why I was crying).... (it was more than just the no hug) and now I just feel like crap. Very sad and depressed.
lonely... I miss my hubby (seeing her dad and his woman, they just got engaged on Sunday... kinda rubbed it in a little more that I miss my hubby).
Doesn't help that its my "womanly time" right now, so I'm extra sensitive.
I am also well overdue for some me time. Sure I have the days by myself, but I'm trapped in my own home...well that's how it feels.
I really really need to get away. Last time I got some quality time away was the first wk of last Sept. I took a 22hr bus ride up North to see a friend for 4 days.. When i came back, WOW, what a difference in me. My hubby and I, it was like when we got married, or when we first fell in love. Me and my kids, were so happy to see each other... It was refreshing.
I'm getting to that breakdown point again. I don't know, maybe I'll take off this weekend, I just don't know where. I just know that I need to before I break or the family has issues...(unfortunately, my family, kids and dh, their moods are based on mine... if I'm not depressed, then we have a good time, all get along, etc. When I am depressed, they get down a bit too.... they don't want to piss me off, or make me more sad, etc... so they walk on eggshells).
I'm also at a loss because of not smoking. I don't know what to do instead. Normally, when I'm crying, I go have a smoke and the crying is done. I don't know what to do instead, aside from continue to be down. (I have no urge/desire/want/need for a smoke whatsoever)
I feel lost.
anyways if you made it this far, thx for listening. I'll be over it by morning...usually am. I'm just venting/whining/whatever... dunno what else to do LOL. Used to smoke, now I whine to TCS.