Help me with my catfights!!!

My fiance and I have a wonderful older cat, Toby, that we got from his grandfather a few years ago. She used to be very skittish and is now very loving. A couple months ago, we got a kitten (about a year old, Tigger) to give Toby a little companionship while we were busy with school and work. Tigger is also a very loving kitten. They both like lots of love from us, only problem is they do not get along. Tigger wants to play with Toby but Toby doesn't want to have anything to do with this kitten. Anytime the kitten walks past her, or tries to play with her, she hisses, growls and swats at her. I have read a lot on the internet to try and figure out what to do. We introduced them slowly, keeping the kitten in the spare room with her own food and litter, letting them get used to each others scent. I have been brushing them with the same brush to try and get them used to each others smells. I have tried just letting them work it out on their own as some sites have said. Nothing seems to work. Any advise on anything else to try??? I know I should not have gotten another female cat, but its a little late for that now. I am already madly in love with my kitten and can't bear the thought of letting her go, but I feel its not fair to Toby. I don't know what to do and am looking for any help possible. Thanks!!!

I presume they are both neutered?

All cats arent getting friends. Although I see they CAN co-exist. Toby dont want Tiggers company, but apparently do accept her living in the house, NOT actively pursuing or mobbing her.

Do the cats play with you when alone? Toby too?

Try to get them to play with you simultaneously. At first perhaps you with one, the fiancÃ[emoji]169[/emoji] with the other - in the same room.

With a little luck, the will intermingle during the play - and suddenly find also themselves playing with each other.

Good luck!

a very long time for cats to get along. I agree that at least Toby is not actively pursuing Tigger. That's a plus. Time, time, time. That what it probably will take. You seem to be doing the right things. Just sit back and don't try to force it. They may never be best buds, but one day you may come home to find them curled up together. They are soooo unpredictable!! Good luck!

It sounds like you are already doing a lot of things that we would recommend to you. You might want to read this thread to see if there are some additional ideas that you haven't tried yet.

http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=67321

You didn't mention how old your older girl is, so I am assuming that she is nearing or at her senior years? Some people do find that it is harder to introduce a kitten to a cat that is much older, particularly if the older cat has lived most of his/her life without cat companionship. I did this many years ago and while the 2 of mine never became close, they did coexist in peace.

Older cats are very set in their ways, it may be that Toby will never want this young whipper snappers friendship. It can be a bit overwhelming to them, this sudden ball of energy foist upon them! What a way to ruin a perfectly good nap!
You are doing all the right things. Make sure that Tigger has plenty of toys to occupy her, a great one that cats play with on their own is the cat track, its a ball inside a round track that they just love, even Toby may get in on the action! You could also introduce the both of them togethor to Da Bird, absolute cat crack, Toby may forget that she does not like Tigger for a minute or two. You have to keep that toy put away when not in use though, they will find it and you will have Da Bird remnants all over the place.
I had an old kitty and ended up with another younger one that I rescued. They never got along despite all the correct introductions and protocal. They did sleep on my bed, feet from eachother, I called it the "neutral zone" (Star Trek fans will get that) Other than that it was what you describe, hissing and swatting. It was kind of funny sometimes when they would accidentally pass eachother in the hallway, took them a second before remembering they didn't like eachother and the hissing started.

Edit: Whoops, your kitties are girls, sorry, changed that.

Thanks for the advise...I figure it will just keep taking time...my fiance is not very patient with this, but luckily I am...the only thing I am afraid of is the stress on Toby...she is starting to pull out her hair, she now has a bald spot on her back....is this normal?? She has done this before when she was under stress (death of grandma when she lived there) and eventually stopped so I am hoping she will calm down soon...
We aren't quite sure how old Toby is, but I am sure she is in her senior years. We got her from his grandfather who took her in as a stray, so it's kind of a guessing game with her age.
as far as play time...Toby doesn't play much alone but I have tried playing with them together...I have a toy that is very long string on a stick with some shiny tassles on the end and I will sit in the middle of the room and run it back and forth with Toby on one side and Tigger on the other side of the room and they will take turns swatting at it. Thanks again for all the advise and reassurance...any more would still be great...will keep you posted on the progress..