Invited to High School Graduation parties as a courtesy?

gailc

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
May 18, 2004
Messages
11,567
Purraise
13
Location
Wisconsin
We have been invited to a couple of High School Graduation parties mid-June.

We don't plan on attending either one.

One is from a former co-worker and its her daughter. We didn't get invited to her son's party a couple of years ago. I haven't spoken to my former co-worker in almost 2 years and haven't seen or spoken to her daughter in almost 4 years.

The second is a co-worker of my husband. We see them socially maybe a couple times of year. Haven't seen/spoken to their son in several years.



So..... I picked up a couple of cards and planned on mailing them. Do I need to stick in a small amount of cash?? (like $10-$20??) or would the card be sufficient?
 

natalie_ca

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 2, 2006
Messages
21,136
Purraise
223
Location
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
I agree with just sending a card!

Sad to say, but I find that some people invite people to functions such as weddings, showers and graduation parties in order to collect all of the loot/money that they can.

Case in point!

Back in the early 1980's I got a job at Tan Jay International. I was situated in the back warehouse doing invoicing in the shipping department. There was a caged off area about 50 feet away to the right of me where a woman worked doing defect returns.

I had been with the company maybe 2 or 3 weeks when she presented me with an invitation to a wedding shower for her daughter! I politely declined telling her that I didn't know her daughter. Her response?

"That doesn't matter." and then she went on to tell me that she herself has been invited to showers for friends of friends etc, and for people she hasn't seen in decades etc. And she always goes.
I politely declined. I didn't buy a gift or even send a card.

Some weeks later after her daughter's bridal shower, I found out that she actually had two showers!!!

One shower was held in our city and took place in a large hall. About 600 people were in attendance.
That was the shower that she had invited me too. The second shower was held out of town, where about 400 people attended. Again in a large hall!!


I was stunned! I've never heard of such large wedding showers. Every shower I've ever attended consisted of family and very close friends...usually under 20 people!!

I asked her "Didn't she get a whole lot of duplicate gifts?!" She said that she didn't get a single duplicate gift! She got everything from cash to every small and large appliance you can think of to entire rooms of furniture and everything in between. The cash gifts totalled almost $20,000.00 which they used as a down payment on a house or a house trailer (can't recall which).

I didn't send a gift or even a card. My suspicions proved right.... invited because of the loot!!

Sadly the marriage lasted less than 6 months.

So don't feel obligated to go. It's not like they are close friends of yours.
 

vampcow

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
854
Purraise
1
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I agree with just sending a card!

Sad to say, but I find that some people invite people to functions such as weddings, showers and graduation parties in order to collect all of the loot/money that they can.

Case in point!

Back in the early 1980's I got a job at Tan Jay International. I was situated in the back warehouse doing invoicing in the shipping department. There was a caged off area about 50 feet away to the right of me where a woman worked doing defect returns.

I had been with the company maybe 2 or 3 weeks when she presented me with an invitation to a wedding shower for her daughter! I politely declined telling her that I didn't know her daughter. Her response?

"That doesn't matter." and then she went on to tell me that she herself has been invited to showers for friends of friends etc, and for people she hasn't seen in decades etc. And she always goes.
I politely declined. I didn't buy a gift or even send a card.

Some weeks later after her daughter's bridal shower, I found out that she actually had two showers!!!

One shower was held in our city and took place in a large hall. About 600 people were in attendance.
That was the shower that she had invited me too. The second shower was held out of town, where about 400 people attended. Again in a large hall!!


I was stunned! I've never heard of such large wedding showers. Every shower I've ever attended consisted of family and very close friends...usually under 20 people!!

I asked her "Didn't she get a whole lot of duplicate gifts?!" She said that she didn't get a single duplicate gift! She got everything from cash to every small and large appliance you can think of to entire rooms of furniture and everything in between. The cash gifts totalled almost $20,000.00 which they used as a down payment on a house or a house trailer (can't recall which).

I didn't send a gift or even a card. My suspicions proved right.... invited because of the loot!!

Sadly the marriage lasted less than 6 months.

So don't feel obligated to go. It's not like they are close friends of yours.
OMG!! That is awful! My bridal shower was maybe 20 people and they were all family and close friends!

I would send just a card.
 

sarahp

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jun 7, 2006
Messages
15,841
Purraise
28
Location
Australia
Why would you invite random people to a high school graduation?!?!? Is that normal over here??

In Australia, your parents, and maybe your grandparents would go. Nobody else cares.
You wouldn't ever invite anyone else. How weird.
 

cococat

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Feb 2, 2007
Messages
4,953
Purraise
12
Location
USA
Nothing would be fine. A card would be fine. For the kids (18 and under) I would sent cash in the card. That is a nice gesture for them and exciting for them on their big day.
 

natalie_ca

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 2, 2006
Messages
21,136
Purraise
223
Location
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Originally Posted by sarahp

Why would you invite random people to a high school graduation?!?!? Is that normal over here??

In Australia, your parents, and maybe your grandparents would go. Nobody else cares.
You wouldn't ever invite anyone else. How weird.
I agree.

When I graduated nursing school, in addition to my brother, his current girl friend, his ex wife and his kids, I also invited some of my close friends who I had kept in contact with, my aunty and uncle, one of my Mom's dear friends who has always been an aunty to me, plus my previous family doctor. I know inviting your doctor to your grad sounds weird, but when my mom was alive he was more like a family friend than just a doctor, and he was really proud and happy to see me going into nursing school, so I figured my mom would have wanted me to invite him. But I didn't send out invitations to people I hadn't seen in years, or casual aquaintances. Heck if you start doing that you may as well stand on a corner and hand out invites to complete strangers!
 
Top