We were decieved!!!

Status
Not open for further replies.

tweetykiss

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 15, 2009
Messages
142
Purraise
1
Location
Chicago
How we got this cat was from my husband's brother dating a girl who had kittens. This guy kept calling everyday asking for an invite just to meet this new girl in his life but frankly we had no time for that. Then as soon as I mention to him "we will be busy this weekend kitten shopping" since I was shopping for a baby kitty not a full grown cat. He then said his girlfriend had kittens to get rid of and they were free. Then we get an email from his girlfriend sending pics of when they were baby kittens (little did I know they were outdated pics). She said they were sweet and they would bring them both over and I can pick and choose.

As soon as they come over we see they are full grown cats and the brother admitted that they were three months old. Cats are very big by then. I wanted a teeny tiny baby. I agree to take one anyway and name her Avalon. Biggest mistake I ever made.

As soon as they left, she starts scratching the couch and I immediately put an end to it so now she scratches the throw rugs and here I had already bought her a scratching post. I bought her a bed and she never used it. She right away started on her scratching and biting. And the girlfriend claimed "the kittens are really sweet". Not kittens anymore and scratching and biting are violent behaviors.

I am starting not to like this cat and want to take her to the humane society and get me a baby and not a full grown cat. When company comes, she scratches and bites. She won't do that to my husband since he takes no nonsense from her.
 

kai bengals

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 5, 2005
Messages
3,931
Purraise
17
Location
North Carolina
At 3 months, these are kittens. They don't become "cats" until they are a year old.

Playful biting and scratching is normal kitten behavior. They are still testing and learning what is appropriate.

You may want a "baby" kitten, but I don't think you're prepared for what that would mean for you in terms of work.
Kittens should not be petted out to new homes until they are 3 to 4 months old.
 

breellablue

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Apr 28, 2009
Messages
394
Purraise
1
Location
Syracuse, NY
I have to agree, I have foster kittens who are over three months old but IMO still are not ready for new homes.

Kittens should be with their mother till at LEAST 12 weeks on average to become properly socialized cats.
 

StefanZ

Advisor
Staff Member
Advisor
Joined
Sep 18, 2005
Messages
25,995
Purraise
10,642
Location
Sweden
Originally Posted by tweetykiss

the brother admitted that they were three months old.
12 weeks is nowadays the usual time when kittens are sold. This shows this girl is taking her responsibility.

No deceivity here no. Not by them anyway.



If you dont want to work on this, better you either try to find a good, responsible new owner yourself,
or even return the kitty back.

Human Society is better then bad "solutions", but...

I wish you and your hubby takes the time and effort to learn how cats are, behave, etc. Best for you, and good for the kitty.
You wont regret this, I can almost promise.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #6

tweetykiss

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 15, 2009
Messages
142
Purraise
1
Location
Chicago
Thanks to all of you for replying and trying to help. Now I have some questions, how old were your kitties when you got them. You guys say the best time to get them is at three months. I have seen people get babies when they were 4 to 8 weeks old. They are just so CUTE. Our cat was big when we got her so if they are so big at three months, I hate to see them at a year. She is now six months old and getting bigger so I have cut back her food. I don't want a cat that is fat.

Now how do we work on behavior problems with this cat? How will we not regret taking the time and effort?

When I said my husband takes no nonsense from this cat, I meant that he yells at her and when she tries to bite him, he gives her a very mean look. He also has a roll of paper (he has never hit her with it, it is just a scare tactic), and he wields it at her but never hits her. He would never hit her.
 

baloneysmom

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Mar 25, 2008
Messages
1,081
Purraise
1
Location
New Brunswick
I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t think you want a kitten. I wanted a kitten once and I went through hell for 6 months with him (Capone). I swore after that I would NEVER EVER get another kitten, he was the devil when he was younger. I can tell you that my situation is not a rare occurrence. If you want a good cat, get an older one. Kittens are obnoxious, they bite, they scratch, they are up all night, the are annoying, the only good thing about a kitten is they are incredibly cute…. But then they grow up.

I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t know where you heard Kittens donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t have problems. If you know someone who had a kitten who was never obnoxious, didnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t scratch, didnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t annoy them and make them want to pull their hair out, I have to say they have discovered a miracle.

Like I said, I know I sound mean… and I LOVE kittens… its just you need to be EXTREAMLY patient to own one… The only reason I am pointing out the flaws in kittens is I am trying to be truthful. I have heard too many stories of people getting kittens/puppies because they are cute, only to discover the cute only goes to far and the animal is left unloved, or sent away, it makes me sad.

Also, about the bed. I have three cats and have been through at least 15 beds, most go to the SPCA as a donation, they have only used ONE of the 15 I have bought and they only used it after I placed it next to the glass sliding door, and the door is open (with the screen). The best bed ever was an Amazon box I got in the mail … thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s it, a free cardboard box I got my mail in. That was a year ago and itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s still the hottest bed in the house.
 

ebrillblaiddes

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
May 22, 2009
Messages
750
Purraise
5
Originally Posted by tweetykiss

Thanks to all of you for replying and trying to help. Now I have some questions, how old were your kitties when you got them. You guys say the best time to get them is at three months. I have seen people get babies when they were 4 to 8 weeks old. They are just so CUTE.
Wow. No one should take a kitten away from its mom before at least 8 weeks; it's not healthy because they're still depending on mama cat's milk. You can replace the nutrition, to some extent, but not the antibodies (immune system stuff, for any who don't know).

I once helped raise a litter of 4 that had lost their mom at 10 days. Yes, they were "cute"...for example, this one time (I want to say in the 2-3 week range), they apparently broke out of the kitty carrier we were keeping them in at night, and cuddled up next to me as if I were their mama cat; I found them the next morning and was really glad I didn't turn over that night...but, OMG, waking up in the middle of the night to get a few eyedroppers of milk substitute into them got old fast. I was soooo glad when they grew up a bit and could eat solid food on their own schedule.

I got my current two cats at about 8 weeks, and the one that passed away recently was grown when I got him as a stray. The age is really not that big a deal; Chilsa was like an overgrown kitten.
Originally Posted by tweetykiss

Our cat was big when we got her so if they are so big at three months, I hate to see them at a year. She is now six months old and getting bigger so I have cut back her food. I don't want a cat that is fat.
Um...regardless of what age the cat is when you get it, you'll see it as an adult eventually. They're supposed to grow when they're that age. If you're concerned about your cat's health, the best thing to do is see a vet to make sure you're feeding it the right amount of the right foods. (Also...cats are different from dogs, they won't stuff themselves to the point of getting sick. I let my cats have open access to their food all the time and they're at a healthy weight because they self-regulate and just eat what they need.)
Originally Posted by tweetykiss

Now how do we work on behavior problems with this cat? How will we not regret taking the time and effort?
Maybe what you really want is a grown cat who's already trained and socialized?
Originally Posted by tweetykiss

When I said my husband takes no nonsense from this cat, I meant that he yells at her and when she tries to bite him, he gives her a very mean look. He also has a roll of paper (he has never hit her with it, it is just a scare tactic), and he wields it at her but never hits her. He would never hit her.
Fear tactics aren't exactly good for the human-pet bond. Aversion/redirection works out better. I put double-sided tape on areas where they scratch, because they hate the feel of it on their paws, and rub dried catnip on things they are supposed to scratch, like the little piece of cat furniture I bought for them the first time I moved with them. I think a squirt bottle is OK: they don't seem to associate it with the human, and it doesn't hurt them, just annoys them.

I once trained a cat out of (gently) biting by tapping him on the top of the head with two fingers, not hard enough to hurt him but just to be annoying, and saying "no bites." Eventually I could say "no bites" when it looked like he was going to bite, and he would stop.
 

ldg

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2002
Messages
41,310
Purraise
842
Location
Fighting for ferals in NW NJ!
As to your questions about training your baby girl.... (and ANY kitten would have to be trained!)

1) You should provide her appropriate things to scratch on. Posts, mats, those flat cardboard scratchers.... Cats like to stretch and scratch when they wake up, so putting them near where she likes to sleep will help. If she's scratching the furniture, put throw blankets over it to discourage it.

2) Trim her nails. This takes some getting used to for any cat. We did it by having a treat ready, and doing it when they were asleep. We'd do one nail. They'd wake up, and we'd put down the treat. We did one nail a day, every day. They start getting used to it, and then you can do more than one at a time. It won't be too long before she'll let you do all of them - some cats do it without the treats, some will always need them.

3) She will begin teething soon, and all cats get "bitey" then. And as she's bitey now, the best way to deal with it is to buy a box of bendy straws. Scatter them EVERYWHERE. When she starts to bite - even though it's "just" play, say "NO" firmly, lean down (or over, or whatever) and blow a short, sharp puff of air directly into her face. Short, sharp puff. (The human equivalent of a hiss). Hand her a straw, and walk away.

Cats learn best through positive reinforcement, so be sure to praise her when she is playing appropriately. So by giving her something appropriate to chew on, and then ignoring her, she learns that inappropriate behavior gets her ignored, appropriate behavior gets her praised, and she learns what things (straws and toys) ARE Ok to chew on - and people aren't.

Be consistent. Praise and reward her for all appropriate behavior (scratching and chewing/biting appropriate things) - and when she's doing something you don't want her to, say "NO" firmly, give her that short, sharp puff of air in the face, and then redirect her to what IS appropriate (if she's on a counter, and you don't want her on a counter, do the no, the puff, and put her on the floor or a chair or something, etc.).

Just remember, kittens are very much like 2 year olds. They need to be shown what is OK, what is not, they learn best by positive reinforcement, redirection to what is appropriate when they're doing something inappropriate, and they will test you and the limits, so consistency is very important.

Laurie
 

ldg

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2002
Messages
41,310
Purraise
842
Location
Fighting for ferals in NW NJ!
...and don't forget to have her spayed! It's safe to do it now, though many vets prefer to wait until she's started teething - or at 6 months. Either way, don't let it go past 6 months or you run the risk of her going into heat.

Laurie
 

rosiemac

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Dec 3, 2003
Messages
54,358
Purraise
100
Location
ENGLAND... LAND OF HOPE AND GLORY!
Originally Posted by ebrillblaiddes

Fear tactics aren't exactly good for the human-pet bond.
I agree. For me yelling is just as bad as hitting an animal. And at only 3 months they are still babies whether their filling out or not.

Just like babies and small children they need interactive time with their owners
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #12

tweetykiss

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 15, 2009
Messages
142
Purraise
1
Location
Chicago
Baloney's Mom, I am sorry you went through too much with Capone. How old was he when you got him? This may sound mean but the adult cats don't seem cute to me. When I go to PetSmart and they have the adoption center with the humane society cats, I have yet to see a cute one or one who is not fat and I seem to notice signs of behavior problems. How old were the other two cats when you got them? Now, was your dog a puppy when you got him? How was he and how does he get along with your cats?

Now Pam says in her book that first time cat owners should get an adult cat but I am afraid of aggressive cats with that one. My cousin's cat is at about 13 years old and very mean. Many years back, she brought her cat to my uncle's (her father) and that tyke was ready to fight my uncle's Persian (who is as sweet as could be). She attacked my cousin's daughter when she was only two years old last year. I am so appalled that my cousin keeps this cat. Her daughter is now only three years old so she is still a baby and now they also have a one year old baby in the house. This cat hisses and growls and gets physically violent.

Ebrill, I am sorry that the litter lost their mother. What did she die of? How did you end up with the kitties?

I used to feed this cat twice a day but now I only do it once a day. PetSmart told me to use SpaSelect, but if it is a food that gets cats fat, I will switch diets. I give her dry food. I only give her moist food once a week if that. That is the cat treat. Also as soon as I get the can out, she starts vocalizing right away. She won't stop whining until the food is in her dish. My cat is a real whiner. But I guess that is better than hissing and growling. What causes the hissing and growling so I can make sure it never comes to that. Because if it does, she is moving out.

Thanks for the tips everyone.
 

going nova

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 31, 2008
Messages
1,951
Purraise
12
Originally Posted by tweetykiss

As soon as they come over we see they are full grown cats and the brother admitted that they were three months old. Cats are very big by then. I wanted a teeny tiny baby.
3 months is still a kitten. 3 months is the earliest a kitten should be separated from its mother.

Originally Posted by tweetykiss

As soon as they left, she starts scratching the couch and I immediately put an end to it so now she scratches the throw rugs and here I had already bought her a scratching post.
It's up to you to show the kitten where it's appropriate to scratch. When you catch your kitty scratching something she shouldn't be scratching, say a stern "no" and take her to the post and show her to scratch that instead.

Originally Posted by tweetykiss

She right away started on her scratching and biting. And the girlfriend claimed "the kittens are really sweet". Not kittens anymore and scratching and biting are violent behaviors.
Scratching and biting are normal kitten behaviours, and again it's up to you to teach the kitten that this is inappropriate behaviour. Try ignoring the kitten when she does this, or blow in her face to simulate a mama cat's hissing.

Originally Posted by tweetykiss

She won't do that to my husband since he takes no nonsense from her.
Yelling at a cat will only scare her. Do you want your cat to live in fear of you?

It sounds as if you don't have the patience for this 6 month old kitten. At this age, they are still growing and need to eat! Kittens don't stay small forever. If you don't have the patience for a 6 month old, please don't try adopting one that's younger as it will require more patience and more responsibility from you.

If you really don't want the kitty, then see if you can take her back to the woman you got her from or try to rehome her yourself.

In my opinion, you're being unfair to the cat. You are getting upset at her without making an effort to train her. It honestly sounds as if you were predisposed to disliking her because she wasn't small enough for you. The cat deserves a home where she will be loved, not resented or yelled at.
 

ldg

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2002
Messages
41,310
Purraise
842
Location
Fighting for ferals in NW NJ!
Someone told you to feed her once a day? Have you had her to a vet and have you discussed this with a vet? Cats digestive systems are designed to eat many small meals a day, which is why so many people leave dry food out for their cats so they can "free" feed.

She's anxious about being fed, because she is not eating frequently enough!!!!!!!!

She should definitely be eating kitten food, whatever brand it is. She's a growing girl, and she should eat kitten food for her first year. She will grow in spurts - sometimes out, sometimes up, but there is just no need to worry about weight at least the first year - and if you let her free feed now, she should easily learn to self-regulate. If she doesn't get many small meals a day, she will always seem like a hungry, grabby, whiner.


Laurie
 

going nova

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 31, 2008
Messages
1,951
Purraise
12
Originally Posted by tweetykiss

This may sound mean but the adult cats don't seem cute to me. When I go to PetSmart and they have the adoption center with the humane society cats, I have yet to see a cute one or one who is not fat and I seem to notice signs of behavior problems.
It really sounds as if you probably shouldn't have a cat. Why do you even want a kitten?
 

white cat lover

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Nov 17, 2005
Messages
22,206
Purraise
35
You have the equivalent of a 1 - 2 month old baby in your house, so be prepared! 3 months is still a kitten, she has probably just not had someone to love her/teach her what's right & wrong. Most places won't let them go any younger than that, as tiny kittens who are taken from their mom's too early often develop big time behavioral issues due to not having a mommy to teach them.

As for her growing up mean, work with her on what's right & wrong now. Get her spayed prior to her first heat, as IMO, many cats who go into heat do develop behavioral issues. At the shelter here, we see tons of cats turned in who aren't spayed & go into heat. The reasons? They became aggressive, they attacked someone, they spray, they yowl all the time, or they become completely destructive.

If she's not going to work out - the sooner you turn her over to a shelter the better, as the younger she is the easier she is to re-home.
 

ldg

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2002
Messages
41,310
Purraise
842
Location
Fighting for ferals in NW NJ!
Maybe a better idea for you than owning a cat (which will grow up!) is fostering? Since you seem to be attracted to kittens, but don't really love cats, rather than owning a cat, maybe the best thing for you would be to volunteer with a shelter as a foster home? That way you can work with bottle babies or pregnant females and kittens that need care, but you get to give them up when they are old enough to be adopted, and you get all the cuteness?

You mention that you want to breed her here: http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=193464. Given that she is not a pure bred cat, any homes her kittens would take would be homes that other homeless kittens from unintentional pregnancies could use. So rather than contribute to the homeless cat/kitten population problem, perhaps you should consider returning this kitten, or rehoming her, and becoming a foster mommy. Then you get the joy of kittens, over and over again.


Laurie
 

pookie-poo

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Feb 14, 2007
Messages
3,911
Purraise
6
Location
Middle-Of-No-Where Michigan
Originally Posted by tweetykiss

This may sound mean but the adult cats don't seem cute to me. When I go to PetSmart and they have the adoption center with the humane society cats, I have yet to see a cute one or one who is not fat and I seem to notice signs of behavior problems.
I don't think that getting a kitten is a good idea for you. Even if you get an 8 week old kitten, it is still going to grow up. Kittens turn into cats, that's the reality here. If you are looking for 'cute' that doesn't change, perhaps you need to get a stuffed cat toy. It won't grow up into a cat (heaven forbid!) and it won't have any behavior problems. You won't have to worry about feeding it, or cleaning up after it. And we won't have to worry about you getting rid of it once it grows out of the cute kitten stage.
 

strange_wings

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 20, 2006
Messages
13,498
Purraise
39
Or, maybe the OP should consider volunteering at a shelter to learn more about cats and animals in general - as well as some tolerance and that everything deserves some love.


I simply do not understand the 'adult cats aren't cute' mentality. All of mine are downright adorable.


As for getting cats spay to help prevent behavior problems. I've noticed that females who have been spay before going into heat tend to stay more playful longer - the same with a lot of male cats, too (though they can be goofy regardless).

I've had cats come to me at various ages - from day old orphans to 4-5 years old. I cherish each kitty for who they are, not for what they look like. And that ultimately is one of life's lessons.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top