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I'm finally going to head back to Cali..

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
An update on my dad's situation, I'd link my other thread as background but I don't know how to do that (maybe someone else can?)... so... here's the update.

Dad is still hanging on, about 2.5 weeks after the nurses said he had 1-3 days to live. Talking on Monday to the hospice nurse, she said she has never had a patient as sick as my dad be so alert and hang on for this long, and she apologized for scaring the crap out of us for the past 2 weeks, because everything she's said about any time frame was wrong. I think he's definitely living on borrowed time, but man, they're not kidding when they say estimating time is not an exact science.

I am so glad I flew back 2 weeks ago and that I've gotten to spend some really good time with my dad, some days he's been sleeping the whole time I'm over at the house, but some days he's awake and talking a bit..

Anyway, after LOTS of thinking and debating in my head, as well as talking to lots of people- my mom, my stepmom, her parents and sister, my boss, my boyfriend, the nurse, the eucharistic minister who visits him a few times a week, my nana, former coworkers, etc.. I've decided I'm going to book a flight on Friday to go back to Long Beach next week maybe mid-week. If something happens that I need to change or cancel my flight and pay a fee, then so be it. If I have to fly back next weekend or something, oh well. But I feel in my heart I've done the best I could, and I know my dad and the family are really happy I got to spend this much time here. If I worked for anyone else I wouldn't get this much time. My boss is probably the only person who seems to think i really should stay til the end. But the way my dad's going, the end could be tonight, next week, in 3 months... who knows. I've made a decision that I feel is the right one, and I'm not going to let anyone make me feel guilty for leaving, though talking to everyone I don't think they would.

I just need to get back to a bit of normalcy.
post #2 of 6
I'm so glad to hear you got to spend so much time with your dad and that your boss is so understanding.
Do what you feel is best for you always!

and prayers for you and your family.
post #3 of 6
Glad that you have come to peace with this... and wow... you have an amazing boss!
post #4 of 6
Here's the link to your first thread.

I'm glad you've gotten to spend the time with your dad. Don't feel guilty about needing to get back to your own life. He know that you care about him and you're not deserting him.

You're right, there's no way to tell how long it might be. Last fall my father was going downhill so fast we didn't think he'd make it until Christmas. All the family made rush trips out to see him and basically say good-bye. Eight months later he's still hanging on and has even gotten a little more alert and active in the last few weeks.

It sounds like you have a wonderful, understanding boss who will give you time off whenever you need to go back.

Sending prayers and for you and your family.
post #5 of 6
I feel just like the others. I'm really glad you were blessed to be able to spend so much time with him - but given that he hasn't given up, there's just no way to know.

You have a wonderful boss, but you've made the decision that's right for you.

Continued for your dad.

post #6 of 6
Thread Starter 
Thank you everyone for continued virtual support.

I really feel like it'll be sooner rather than later for my dad, and unfortunately it's getting to the point where we're almost hoping it might be, so that he doesn't have to suffer much longer. It feels awful to say that. But it's true. Yesterday my stepmom told me she finally was able to tell him the night before that it was ok to go, and expected him to not be there in the morning. But he is still hanging on for something or someone... The mind-body connection is so strong..

I'm still booking a flight tomorrow or Saturday though. I just have to. Looks like i can get a cheap flight back, cheap enough that the change fee will probably be more than the flight!! But it's not the money I'm worried about right now anyway, I can make that work. I need something definitive.
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