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Favorite TV and movie quotes

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
Can be funny, sad, poetic or anything that you like, keeping it clean of course.
I have been a big potato all day, not feeling well, and am at the moment watching "Everybody Loves Raymond" The episode with the suitcase. I love the phrase "Don't let a suitcase filled with cheese be your big fork and spoon!" Just so silly

Edit to correct qoute
post #2 of 23
My favorite line is from "Love Actually" - the scene when the father takes his little boy out for a conversation, thinking he had very bad problems, like drugs or something... It goes something like this:

Son: "sigh... well, the truth is, I am in love"
Father: Whew, That's it? Thank God, I thought it was much worst"
Son: "Worst than the total agony of being in love?" This is my favorite line of all times...
post #3 of 23
I love this quote from the Kurt Russell/Val Kilmer movie "Tombstone". Wyatt Earp is getting ready to hunt down the bad guys who have just killed his brother and he says,
"You tell 'em I'm comin', and hell's comin' with me!"
post #4 of 23
I could quote some from The Devil's Advocate, one part in particular that I always find amusing, but I don't think anyone would like it.

Altered States has some good ones, too. "The final truth of all things is that there is no final Truth. Truth is what's transitory. It's human life that is real."

"The purpose of our suffering is only more suffering. "
post #5 of 23
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by strange_wings View Post
I could quote some from The Devil's Advocate, one part in particular that I always find amusing, but I don't think anyone would like it.

Altered States has some good ones, too. "The final truth of all things is that there is no final Truth. Truth is what's transitory. It's human life that is real."

"The purpose of our suffering is only more suffering. "
Pretty sure I know the quote you are talking about with Devils Advocate, is it "Where does he *bleep*? Anywhere he wants
post #6 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trillcat View Post
Pretty sure I know the quote you are talking about with Devils Advocate, is it "Where does he *bleep*? Anywhere he wants
It's the long one where Pacino's character calls god a sadist. "He's an absentee landlord! Worship that? Never!"
post #7 of 23
"One time I dropped a cigar ash on his carpet, and he made me pick it up...with my anus"

Deuce Bigalow

(Sorry if inappropriate)
post #8 of 23
From Steel Magnolias:

I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special. -Shelby

Oh my goodness, I get a lump in my throat just typing it, I feel like I just understand it so much.
post #9 of 23
If I'm not back in 5 minutes....wait longer! (Ace Ventura: Pet detective)

There's no reason to be alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of the flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane? (Airplane!)

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. (Blues Brothers)

I'm a mawg. Half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend. (Spaceballs)

I called her up and she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention. (Dumb and Dumber)
post #10 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by kscatlady View Post
From Steel Magnolias:

I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special. -Shelby

Oh my goodness, I get a lump in my throat just typing it, I feel like I just understand it so much.
That movie is one of my favorites...I just LOVE that quote!

One of my favorites is "Life IS pain, princess"...(from Princess Bride...don't know if it got it exactly right), but that has helped me through a lot of bad times, from age 15 on.

Oh, my other favorite...lets see if I can remember it now..."You are a low down, stuck up, scruffy looking nerf herder." (Is that right? I think something is missing....) I just think that is the best comeback every (and I'm not even a starwars fan)
post #11 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by calico2222 View Post
That movie is one of my favorites...I just LOVE that quote!

One of my favorites is "Life IS pain, princess"...(from Princess Bride...don't know if it got it exactly right), but that has helped me through a lot of bad times, from age 15 on.

Oh, my other favorite...lets see if I can remember it now..."You are a low down, stuck up, scruffy looking nerf herder." (Is that right? I think something is missing....) I just think that is the best comeback every (and I'm not even a starwars fan)

"Life is pain, your highness. Anybody who says differently is selling something."

I love The Princess Bride
post #12 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by CatNurse22 View Post
"Life is pain, your highness. Anybody who says differently is selling something."

I love The Princess Bride
Oh yeah I forgot about that movie. I haven't seen it for years.

Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can *fuss*.
Fezzik: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us*.
Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no *harm*.
Fezzik: He's really very short on *charm*.
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead.
Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it.
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
Vizzini: DYEEAAHHHHHH.

And who could forget: INCONCEIVABLE!!
post #13 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by CatNurse22 View Post
"Life is pain, your highness. Anybody who says differently is selling something."

I love The Princess Bride
That's it! I Love that movie too, it's been a while since I watched it. I think I know what I'm watching this weekend though!
post #14 of 23
Thread Starter 
Steel Magnolias was a great movie! The ubber chick-flick (except for maybe Beaches) So many good quotes!
"Clarice, I love ya more than my luggage"
"if you don't have anything nice to say about someone, come sit next to me"
Many many more.
Edit: I think I got that first quote wrong
post #15 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trillcat View Post
Steel Magnolias was a great movie! The ubber chick-flick (except for maybe Beaches) So many good quotes!
"Clarice, I love ya more than my luggage"
"if you don't have anything nice to say about someone, come sit next to me"
Many many more.
Edit: I think I got that first quote wrong
Yep, it was Clairee saying it to Ouiser.

"You know I love ya more than my luggage."

I just watched it two days ago. I love that line too!
post #16 of 23
"You had me at Hello" from Jerry McGuire.

"You're gonna need a bigger boat: from Jaws

Here is a really old one..."Loving means never having to say you're sorry" from Love Story.
post #17 of 23
Oh my... well, anything from Clerks is good... and totally inappropriate for the forums. Ok, not all of them... "I'm not even supposed to be here today!" Really, any of the View Askew productions. Mall Rats "It's not a schooner, it's a dingy!" Such good movies.

Since the Princess Bride is in here theres "As you wish!" and "My name is Anigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!"

And one of my absolute favorites from Moulin Rouge "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return."
post #18 of 23
Yeah, it's pretty much a 'guy thing', but almost anything from Caddyshack. I can't tell you the number of times I've worked bits of the dialogue into my everyday conversations. A few of my favorites:

Judge Smails: You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself.

Ty Webb: Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch.
----------------------------------------
Judge Smails: Ty, what did you shoot today?

Ty Webb: Oh, Judge, I don't keep score.

Judge Smails: Then how do you measure yourself with other golfers?

Ty Webb: By height.
----------------------------------------
And, of course...

Carl Spackler: So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Classic.
post #19 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by TigerOnTheProwl View Post
There's no reason to be alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of the flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane? (Airplane!)

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. (Blues Brothers)
My other favorite quotes from those movies:

"I speak jive" (Airplane)

"We're on a mission from God" and "Don't come back until you redeem yourselves" (Blues Brothers)

And more:

"Welcome to Costco, I love you" and "It's got electrolites!" and "My ex-wife was a 'tard - she now flies a plane" (Idiocracy)

"I gave my love a chicken than had no bones" (Animal House)

"Leave the gun, take the canoli's" (Godfather)
post #20 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trillcat View Post
Steel Magnolias was a great movie! The ubber chick-flick (except for maybe Beaches) So many good quotes!
"Clarice, I love ya more than my luggage"
"if you don't have anything nice to say about someone, come sit next to me"
Many many more.
Edit: I think I got that first quote wrong
Steel Magnolias is one of my favorite movies! Great lines!


Clairee Belcher: You know, you would be a much more contented, pleasant person if you would find ways to occupy your time.
Ouiser Boudreaux: I'm pleasant. Damn it! I saw Drum Eatenton this morning at the Piggly Wiggly, and I smiled at the SOB 'fore I couldn't help myself.

M'Lynn: Oh Ouiser, Drum would NEVER point a gun at a lady!
Ouiser Boudreaux: Oh! He's a real gentleman! I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he PEES in it!

Ouiser Boudreaux: He is a boil on the butt of humanity!

Truvy: Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it is marchin' across your face.
post #21 of 23
Independence Day: Hello Boy's I'm Back. (I say that everytime I get Home)

Men In Black: We aren't holding an intergalactic kegger down here.
post #22 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by CatNurse22 View Post
"Life is pain, your highness. Anybody who says differently is selling something."

I love The Princess Bride
The Princess Bride is one of my favorite movies of all time. I could quote from the Princess Bride for ages.


Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?
Buttercup: Well... you were dead.
Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.

Miracle Max: You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.

Inigo Montoya: I admit it, you are better than I am.
Man in Black: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don't know.
Man in Black: And what is that?
Inigo Montoya: I... am not left-handed.

Vizzini: Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!

Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.

Miracle Max: Get back, witch.
Valerie: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife. But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that any more.

Miracle Max: Have fun storming the castle!
Valerie: Think it'll work?
Miracle Max: It would take a miracle.

Westley: There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

Miracle Max: Go away or I'll call the Brute Squad.
Fezzik: I'm on the Brute Squad.
Miracle Max: [sees Fezzik] You *are* the Brute Squad!

Westley: It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.

Grandpa: Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The End.

Miracle Max: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.
Inigo Montoya: What's that?
Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.

Dread Pirate Roberts: Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.

Prince Humperdinck: You truly love each other and so you might have been truly happy. Not one couple in a century has that chance, no matter what the story books say. And so I think no man in a century will suffer as greatly as you will.


I could also quote from Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail or the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and many other films besides. Probably, I shouldn't, because this post would get even longer. Well, okay, maybe one or two....


From Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail:

French Soldier: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

King Arthur: You've got no arms left.
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: *Look*!
Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound.

French Soldier: You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

Dennis: Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
King Arthur: Bloody peasant!
Dennis: Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw him, Didn't you?

King of Swamp Castle: We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.
Prince Herbert: But I don't like her.
King of Swamp Castle: Don't like her? What's wrong with her? She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got huge... tracts of land.

King Arthur: Who are you who can summon fire without flint or tinder?
Tim: There are some who call me... Tim.

Knight 1: ...You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... WITH... A HERRING!





I'm such a dork. Sorry for the long post.
post #23 of 23
Quote:
From Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail:

French Soldier: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Those are some of my absolute favorites from that movie. Thanks for reminding me!
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