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I am officially 'persona non grata'

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
I just got a message from my G/F that I am no longer welcome in her mother's home.

My g/f, her daughter Katie and I were supposed to drive to her mother's
church this morning for a Mother's Day luncheon where the men do all the
cooking, cleaning and serving (I had volunteered to be a waiter) then we
had planned to spend the day at Callaway Gardens and then back to the
G/F's mom's house for dinner. My G/F called me at 8am to tell me I have
been dis-invited from today's events.

Apparently, I am being blamed for 'destroying' Mrs. E's computer, which
I used (with permission) for less than 5 minutes, nearly a month ago.
Supposedly, I have somehow infected her computer with some virus by
simply doing a Mapquest search for a tire store so I could get a slow-leak
in one of my g/f tires fixed.

The funny thing is, the day I used her computer, she was actually pleasant
to me; Katie told her grandmother that she had brought her grade in algebra
up from a D (which was actually a border-line 'F', but the teacher was being
generous) to a B-Plus because I had been helping her study. (I haz mad math
skilz, yo. ) I thought Mrs E. might actually be warming up to me - my
G/F even mentioned it on the drive home that night.

I have always treated this women with respect, I've shrugged off her snide
comments, left handed compliments and outright animosity towards me with
as much civility as I can muster (which actually probably annoys her even
further) because it is important to my G/F that her mother and I are at least
cordial to each other - but this is just outright ridiculous. At what point do
I say 'enough is enough' and how do I do that without jeopardizing my

Not really looking for advise here, just needed to rant.
post #2 of 8
Ugg, what an awful situation. I dont have any suggestions but that this will blow over and things will get better
post #3 of 8
Over a computer?! OMG! How old is this woman?! She's acting like a little kid.

First off, she was probably infected by an email that she opened. Second off, she should be using an up-to-date virus scanner, which she obviously isn't if she ended up getting a computer virus.

I don't know what to tell you except that I feel sorry that you are involved with someone who has a mother that is so childish.

I certainly hope that your girl friend won't be sticking around at her mother's on that day either? She should be telling her mother that you and her are a package deal and that if you aren't invited, she won't be there either!!! I know I certainly would tell anyone I know that if they rudely "disinvited" my boy friend from attending over such a stupid issue!
post #4 of 8
If you could infect her computer with a virus by doing a quick search on mapquest than the thing wasn't properly protected in the first place - in other words it would have been getting viruses already. She probably only now noticed that there was a problem and is just looking for someone else to blame.

What's your girlfriend going to do about this? If my husband was snubbed I sure as heck wouldn't go, either.
post #5 of 8
Well, that is real mature of her mother.
post #6 of 8
Sounds like she's pretty computer ignorant, so now you're the scapegoat. That stinks.

You've been taking the high road all along. Don't let this change you. Your GF has eyes. She knows the truth.
post #7 of 8
She sounds nasty and controlling to me. In other words, a weirdo that you don't need in your life. Sounds like she'll use any excuse to hurt you/others, and the woman has some problems. Imagine life with her as your mother-in-law; you may need to think hard about this, should your g/f and you ever decide to marry. I'm not recommending that you break up; just learn what to expect , and also learn how to handle her. Also be aware that she may come between you and her daughter, and blood can be thicker than water--unless you're MY family, most of which have the loyalty and morals of rattlesnakes.
post #8 of 8
Now that I'm a senior citizen, and wiser than I was in my 20s, my best advice is don't get serious about anyone until you have met their family members! I wish I had done that before I married!

And if your SO doesn't get along with her/his family, then wonder if the SO is the one at fault or if the entire family is nuts.

In your situation, I would worry that your gf might act like her mother at some point. If you can't get along with the future in-laws now, it is likely to NOT be a good match.
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