Oral cancer and emotional rollercoaster

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scarlett 001

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Thank you. I've never felt so sad in my entire life. The grief is almost unbearable.
 

pami

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Im so very sorry you are even facing this
You pain is so heartfelt, its just not fair. As Susan said we will be here for you. Keeping you all close in my thoughts.
 

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I am so sorry you are having to go through this, I know how hard it is when bloods show things are really dire, but yet they dont act as poorly as they should, and it makes it a very tough call. We are all here for you though.
 
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scarlett 001

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Thanks all.
It is indeed awful when the bloods show one thing, and the cat is showing another. Some people say to treat the cat, not the numbers. But if Callym is at critical numbers where bad things might happen, well this complicates even this theory. It is a horrible position to be in.

I've joined the Yahoo Groups Anemia Group to get more answers as to how dire his anemia values are, and to get some answers as to why the Epogen seems to have not helped at all. This still puzzles me even if the answers do not change any decisions I make. I do wonder if the dosage we were giving was just too low. I read a few messages on that forum about many people who got their cats with values in the range of Callym's back up again with Epogen (for example, one person's cat went from 12 to 19). So why has Callym's situation been the reverse? He was at 19-20 and dropped to the low teens (12.5 or something like that) while on Epogen. Does Epogen not work on some cats? Could his tumor be bleeding internally (there is no bleeding from the mouth at all)?
 
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scarlett 001

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I just don't know what to do. I am trying to find out if we had him on a too low dose of Epogen given that he has both cancer and kidney issues, and if there is anything to gain by increasing the dosage of Epogen. The thing his oral tumour seems under control, and I think if the anemia could be controlled I might be able to get more time with him.

My regular vet was only on tomorrow (Thurs) and is off until Tuesday next week. So I sort of am feeling some pressure that I have to decide what to do by tomorrow as I prefer my vet to be with me when my cat passes on. However, his partner vet is working at the clinic on Fri/Sat and even though it is not my first choice, if necessary I could have the other vet do a euthanasia. I am getting worried that if I don't do my homework on this epogen and anemia, I may feel rushed into putting darling Callym to sleep tomorrow and end up with doubts. But I don't want him to begin to suffer. He is quite tired and sleeping a lot from the anemia no doubt - but he does not look like he is suffering.

Very confused.

ETA: Talked to my vet and we are going to give a try at increasing the Eprex does. This is the one last thing that I can try and do for Callym's illness.
 
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scarlett 001

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Originally Posted by Rosiemac

How long does he have to be on that for?
They get 3 shots a week, ongoing. So we will try for about a week at the increased dosage, and in the meantime I will keep a tight eye on the the red blood cells to ensure there is no plummetting to really critical levels where I would have to let him go right away or that his clinical signs don't tell me it is time to let him pass. And then next week when the Eprex has had time to begin to do something, I should know if we can get through this anemia or not.

On the Yahoo Group anemia list I joined, people have had success in getting pvc levels from similar values to Callym's up about 6 points in a week or two. We just don't know why the eprex did not work at the regular dosage he was on, but from research I learned that some cats just do require an above average dosage (maybe also cause Callym is not just a kidney cat, but also a cancer cat).

Callym is still able to jump on the bed etc., he just ate a decent sized breakfast (he has not vomited once in all of his illness), he uses the litterbox well, he purrs when I cuddle him, and wants to be part of the house routine (sleeps with me, is in the living room with me etc. - no hiding). He is slower and sleeps a lot - classic signs of anemia - and of course is not the same cat physically he was before the illness. This anemia caught me off guard as I thought an eventual growth of the oral tumor and inability to physically eat cause of that would be where things headed with oral cancer.

I wish there were "right" decisions and answers, this is so difficult. As someone said earlier in the post, it makes it difficult when the numbers warn you bad things are going on, but the cat's clinical signs don't match.
 
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scarlett 001

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Originally Posted by Rosiemac

One thing no one can say is that you didn't try enough to help Callym
True enough.

If he was showing more clinical signs of this stage anemia like starting to not eat, so weak he begins to fall over, not purring, hiding then I would have to let him go. He seems to be telling me if there is a way to be here a bit longer, he would like to be. So this increased Eprex seems to be the last thing we can try to let this happen, otherwise he won't be able to keep fighting the anemia and I'll have to let him pass.

I know we all go through these tough decisions, always wondering if we are doing the right thing.
 

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Fingers crossed the increased dosage does work and allows you to have some more quality time with you, and if not, you know you have done everything possible to help him.
 

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I too had a cat that had cancer...unfortuneately, Percy was a nervous cat that we only saw about once or twice a month (she was always indoors, but didn't want to be around anyone), and we were not able to be with her when she died because she went into hiding. A few weeks later, our 16-year-old baby Jazzy, who had been going downhill but still happy in her last year, began to weaken in a heat wave. By that Friday night, my husband and I made the decision to have her euthanized the next day. Saturday morning, she decided to go on her own terms, and cried out to us. I held her until she put her head on my shoulder, looked into my eyes, sighed, and was gone. Then, I held her for another 3 hours. I'm having a hard time typing this, and it's been almost 2 years, so I know the pain you must be feeling about your baby's illness. You truly have my deepest sympathies, and I will be checking back here regularly to see how he is doing.
-Sari
 
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scarlett 001

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Thank you for your kind thoughts.

Today Callym and I went in the garden for a mid-evening visit. He usually sits on his own chair beside my chair. I was busy reading Harry Potter snuggled in a blanket as I really needed a jacket or warmer clothes but all I had was a woolly blanket. Callym is not a lap-sitter - he snuggles into you and gives the best hugs, but he generally does not sit on your lap. But this evening during our garden visit, he very decidely climbed onto the cozy blanket on my lap and snuggled into me and directly fell right asleep. I read my book til the sun set with him on my lap, then after I could not read any more, I just sat there listening to the birds and the breeze in the trees, with my darling Callym fast asleep. I stayed there for several hours with him all tucked up in the blanket on my lap. I just came in now. And it is late!!! I had no idea how long I had been out there with him!!!

I actually cried out there with him this evening - tears of joy that this wee amazing survivor cat wandered into my life and stole my heart. I feel like the luckiest person alive to be his mummy and friend.
 

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Hi, my name is Robyn and I read all your posts about Callym. First of all, you have my heartfelt wishes that Callym will rally yet again to be able to spend more quality time with you. I have a question - here in Israel, when we have anaemic cats, we often tend to give them a unit of blood. Have you tried this with Callym? It should be typed and matched, of course, after the first time, but you probably have feline blood banks there and maybe it would help him. I have done this with various of my terminal cats and it really gave them a lease on life; short, of course, but for that period of time directly after, cats who had previously been too weak to move were suddenly enjoying their surroundings, taking an active interest in life and moving about, if slowly and carefully. Please ask your vet if Callym might benefit from a transfusion. Miracles happen every day - hopefully, it's Callym's turn to get one!
 
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scarlett 001

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Hi there. Thanks for you kind words and sympathy. I had talked to my vet about the blood transfusion, and for reasons I cannot now recall (the past 2 months has been a haze in many ways), my vet had thought in this case it might not be the best thing. I wish that I could remember what he had said and the reasons...

That being said, Callym is a lot more energetic today. Walking around a lot and perkier, relative to how he has been the past 4 days, which is mainly sleeping. He seems more like how he was last week, when he was doing reasonably well. Maybe the increased Eprex dosage is helping?
 

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Originally Posted by Scarlett 001

he very decidely climbed onto the cozy blanket on my lap and snuggled into me and directly fell right asleep. I read my book til the sun set with him on my lap, then after I could not read any more, I just sat there listening to the birds and the breeze in the trees, with my darling Callym fast asleep.
That moment, along with your other happy memories with Callym is certainly one to cherish
 
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scarlett 001

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Callym had a great day yesteday so thought I would post some photos of Callym enjoying his supervised garden outing. (He is much thinner than he used to be as the cancer etc. has led to weight loss but he still can jump and move around well)

Sadly it is raining today, and he does not look as good today. I hope it is just that he misses the garden, or maybe it is just a bad day - if so, I hope he picks up tomorrow. Tomorrow is the bloodwork test, so we shall see if his pcv values have improved. Nervous.
 

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I'm so sorry that the end is near for dear Callym. But it sounds like you are very lucky to get some very precious days with him. I hope that it is just the rain that is slowing him down today and he will rally with the sunshine.
 
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