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Tell me what you think!

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
Ok so for my Creative writting class we have to write a 10 page story for our final. Well I decided I am going to write about a "crazy cat lady" lol except she isnt the typical "stereotype" and she spends the whole story trying to dismiss herself as such. The idea came to mind when my friends told me i am going to be a crazy cat lady when i grew up lol A cat lady, yes, but hopefully not crazy!! So i have the first page and a half, i was wondering if you could read it and tell me what you feel. Also I need a catchy name, it is currently "The Crazy Cat Lady", but i need something better if you have any suggestions. I am trying to make this story funny

The Crazy Cat Lady
\tEvery city, town, has a resident cat lady. Visual images come to one’s mind. First off they are always a female with wrinkles so prominent you’d think it was the Grand Canyon. Her gray hair pinned up the same way every day with traces of moldy cat food clinging to it like a bug stuck in a cob web. A psych ward was beyond an answer to her “troublesâ€. Those pajamas she bought at the flea market because there were cats on it, like the vendor’s cats were literately lying on the pajamas! They are worn to bed and to the store. And no those green blotches on the shirt, did not come in the original print.
\tThe smell of her house was of cats, tuna, rotting fish, feces; mold was enough to make you gag. Her diet was often canned cat food because she spent all her retired funds on the cats, that she didn’t have enough to feed herself. And last but not least, she is always single.
\tBut Myscha swears that those “stereotypes†do not fit her.
\t“No, they do not fit, no sir they do not! Yes I do have 23 cats, but I am only 23 years old, one cat for every year.â€
\tThe first sign of “Cat Lady Syndrome†is denying you have it and explaining yourself over and over again.
\t“What exactly is your job again Miss…†Before the “doctor†could finish, she was interrupted.
\t“Myscha, just call me Myscha. I mean, I am a successful Museum Curator with a special interest in Archeology. If I could choose any time period to live in, it would be the Ancient Egyptian times because cats were sacred beings. I change my hairdo every day, sometimes twice a day. I have hundreds of different clothes and have at least 30 pairs of pajamas that have never seen the world past my front gate. I bought this very special cream that will prevent my skin from ever wrinkling. My house is cleaned every day and I eat gourmet meals three times a day. So you see, Dr. Veranda, I am not crazy and I am not lonely. Who could be lonely with 23 cats?†she laughed so hard, she about fell of the chair.
\tThe doctor, knowing all too well, of these “casesâ€, raised her eyebrow in response.
\tMyscha knew she was not crazy and the fact that her boss made her go to these “sessions†because of her fascination of mummified cats made her want to cat scratch attack her.
\t“Do you feel it…may…not be normal to use the Museum’s contact list to find a person who specializes in mummifying in Egypt to mummify your dead cat?†As she said this you could tell she had a hard time keeping a straight face.
\t“Of course it is normal, it is a respectful way to treat your beloved, sacred friend and I do not appreciate your mocking tone, Mrs. Wannabe doctor.â€
post #2 of 5
Um, you character seems crazy and that has nothing to do with cats. Your audience may not be able to connect at all. Wording is a bit odd in some places, you'll need to refine dialog (dialog is hard anyways). What's the conflict? Man vs self? Man vs society? It's not clear from the small bit, but you'll need that straightened out to actually get somewhere with a plot.

Maybe tone her down a bit to connect with your audience. Read what you write out loud to yourself, you might catch some odd wording that way. Be careful how you jump around, introducing the idea but not really introducing the character seems a bit awkward (to me anyways). Do you have an outline or basic brainstorming? - it might help. Have someone proof for you when you're done, if you can.

It's better if people on here catch possible mistakes and give suggestions... it can help catch some things that might hurt her grade!
post #3 of 5
Well so far I liked it, had me giggling here and there on everyones basic idea of the supposed neighborhood cat lady. Good luck! ^_^
post #4 of 5
Thread Starter 
Haha thanks. Oy i see what you mean lol. I tend to get carried away when i type that i dont look to make sure it makes sense. What I was trying to do was show all the typical sterotypes of a cat lady and to have the main character throughout the story show how she doesnt fit the "mold" of a cat lady, she tries so hard to not be it that she really does become it (dont know if that makes sense!!) Like you know how people just try soo hard to not be something? Im still thinking on a good climax, now that i think about it i cant think of one! I need all the critique i can get!! So thank you! I am off to go edit and ponder!!
post #5 of 5
I loved it, I wanna read more, could you npost the whole lot on here when you have finished haha, good luck with it, it made me chuckle!!
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