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Small Accident...Big Headache (vent)

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
I got into a minor car accident on Sunday. An older driver pulled out even though the traffic light was green on my side. He said he was "taking a right on red" and seemed totally out of it. There wasn't much damage so I (stupidly) didn't call the police to the scene. The other driver kept saying he would be in "big trouble" if the damage was over $500. My mother was with me and we went to the police station to file a report. Given the circumstances the police checked up on the other driver. The other driver then came over to our house that evening. (I moved back home a few months ago.) He wasn't threatening, but asked that we call him before we finish filing a claim. My brother took care of it, or so we thought. Our phone # is unlisted and we gave him a cell phone # when he asked (yes it does work). He's now calling the police asking if they heard how we're settling this! The police came to the house today to let my mother know. When he came over Sunday, besides the thought of letting the dogs loose I thought about a restraining order. The police are considering the same thing for them if he keeps doing this. Thankfully he doesn't know where I work but I worry about him circling the neigborhood and harrasing my family. Why do I attract the weirdos into my life?
post #2 of 13
Wow, I would be freaked too! How nuts!!!!!! Watch out for stuff, kay? You never know what people will do, and this guy sounds mentally unwell...

You know basic self-defense, right? If not, take a class, they're usually offered somewhere in communities for free. And if you don't want to do that I would just carry some pep spray or a tazer in the car or purse.

Do pursue a restraining order. You do not need to deal with him directly AT ALL, honestly, even if there is going to be an issue over money or damages or whatever.

Please keep us posted as to what happens...I'll be worrying about cha'
post #3 of 13
My ex-boss had a similar incident. Someone hit her in the store parking lot, found out where she lived and would constantly harass her. Rather creepy.

I hope this can get straightened out and he leaves you all alone soon.
post #4 of 13
Bless your heart! I heard about something like this when I was in high school; a young girl had a wreck and it was the other person's fault. The man talked her out of calling the police, agreeing to pay for damage to her car. When she went to collect, he threatened her. He told her that he had people who would swear they witnessed the accident and it was her fault! I think your best course of action may be to run an ad in the newspaper and see if anyone witnessed the accident. Maybe some one will come forward and do the right thing. And be careful...what a psycho!
post #5 of 13
Sounds like you got a live one, a real weirdo!
I sure hope it all gets straightened out quickly!
post #6 of 13
Thread Starter 
I think he might have dementia - he couldn't even spell his name correctly when we were exchanging paperwork! I think he doesn't want his family to know and take his keys away. Unfortunately that might be the best thing. He's also a lawyer, but he can't play that card for intimidation because my brother is one also.
post #7 of 13
Originally Posted by Bob'sMom View Post
I think he might have dementia - he couldn't even spell his name correctly when we were exchanging paperwork! I think he doesn't want his family to know and take his keys away. Unfortunately that might be the best thing. He's also a lawyer, but he can't play that card for intimidation because my brother is one also.
The family finding out could cause more issues for you...You don't know if they'll harrass you as well. Be careful.
post #8 of 13
I'm confused.

He showed up at your house after the car accident and tried to get you to settle without involving the police. You gave him your cell phone number: which I don't see that he has used to call you yet. He then calls the police to tell them you are settling directly with him.

I don't see how that is harassment.

So far as him calling the police telling them that you are settling directly with him, could have been a misunderstanding on his part. Sometimes people hear what they want to hear.

File a claim with your insurance company and let them deal with the rest of it.
post #9 of 13
Thread Starter 
He hasn't called the cell phone, or contacted me or any of my family directly since Sunday evening. We (my mother and I at the accident sceen or my brother later) did not promise to not file either a police report or an insurance claim. Instead he's been calling the police department repeatedly asking them if they know if we filed an insurance claim. All the police know is that we did file an accident report. He knows the name of the insurance carrier (it's on the registration) but as far as I know he has not contacted them checking on a claim. I just find this very odd behavior, and if he came by once he might come by again. I don't worry so much about myself, but my mother was trying to be nice with him. She's the reason I didn't initially call the police when the accident happened.

Basically when the police stopped by and explained what's going on they called it harrassment of them and warned us so if it started happening we could take action.
post #10 of 13
Sounds to me like the old fellow has some mental issues and the very best thing that could happen would be for his family to be made aware of the situation. Perhaps telling him you intend to contact his family if he doesn't go away may solve the whole problem and then as Linda says, let the insurance company handle it.

Along similar lines, a couple winters ago, a lady drove into the back of my car. Her excuse was that she thought I was going to pull out into traffic. She wanted me to wait until she spoke with her husband before reporting it to insurance and that he may want to settle instead of going through insurance. She called me that evening to say her husband wanted me to get an estimate. I got one from our usual collision place and they didn't like it. They wanted me to take my car to a place of their choosing. I told her that if they wanted their person to see my car they would have to come to me that I was not taking time off work to go to them. She started arguing and giving me a hard time on the phone. I finally just said, "Look, I have no interest in arguing with you about this. I got the estimate you asked for, you don't like it, so no worries. I will be reporting the accident to my insurance in the morning", and I hung up. I never heard from them again.
post #11 of 13
Sorry, but if you don't think it's bizzare that he showed up at her home, I don't know what is. He has no reason to show up at her house, call around to check up on what she's doing, or anything.

It would be less trouble and more helpful for everyone involved to just report it, in my opinion.

And I have seen things start out like this and progress to nasty situations.
post #12 of 13
Thread Starter 
It's in the hands of the insurance companies. My agent called, and just after that (while I was down the hall) his company called and I'm calling them back at lunchtime. If he wants to waste his time calling the police on a matter they have no say or info on, let him. If he comes near my house I'll call the police. I too am concerned about escalation but right now I'm just pissed off about it and am in no mood to make it easier for him.
post #13 of 13
Thread Starter 
I spoke to the claims rep at the other driver's insurance company, as did my brother and mother. The car is getting fixed next week. Thankfully the damage is cosmetic and the car is driveable. The other driver didn't report anything. My brother called him to let him know what's going on. He's unhappy that his insurance company knows (they would probably find out anyway from the police report) and demanded that we give him an estimate "but not over $1,000". If the insurance company declared we were both at fault we might have considered it, but he was being such a jerk it wasn't worth it. He also could lose his insurance for not reporting an accident and Massachusetts is a must-carry state. The upshot is that my brother faxed him a letter to tell him to cease all contact with us. I'm not at fault so the deductable is waved, which is good news.
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