Re-Homing Most Of My Babies

A poster on the Petfinder forum provided a link to this conversation to demonstrate that there are sites where people are supportive and positive to mothers who must give up their pets. That conversation has become a free for all bash fest were the negative people from that board are insulting the young woman who is pregnant. I'm sorry to say that I am a member of that board (my screenname there is Megan), and that their negativity is leaking onto other sites. Here is the link to the Petfinder conversation. http://www.petfinder.org/?dcforum/do...y/8828.html#32

Again, I am so sorry that you are being insulted on this board, and on Petfinder.

If you have to rehome some of the cats, then do so. But wouldn't it be kinder to keep the oldest ones not the kittens since they're used to their way of life? I really hope that getting ALL the cats fixed is a high priority?

Having had a child at age 18 ( I was married, and still am to the babys dad) I can say its harder than you think it will be, and people who offer babysitting services tend to fade into the woodwork once the time comes. Defintely have a back up plan or two, and be prepared, its not easy.

This debate about teenagers unmarried and pregnant would best be served in the IMO forum on a separate thread. A sore note with many it could be an interesting debate without it turning into what might be seen as bashing the circumstances of someone so young.

That being said, I would like to turn my attention to the other matter here- which is the re-homing of these cats. When someone decides to enter into the companionship of cats, they bring with them (hopefully) an awareness that these cats are for the most part, entirely dependant upon that person for so many things. Vet care, food, love, and as they get situated into a home, they bond with the people there and the companionship continues. They should never be considered an inconvienence, or a bother. And, if they become an added expense, then one would hope that the cat owner would stop accruing so many cats and tend to the ones that they already have. Cats are NOT high maintenance, but they are a responsibility and should be treated with respect and not discarded as yesterday's trash. Many of the shelters are so tired of owner surrenders, they already have to pick up the slack for irresponsible pet owners who do not spay and neuter and who think litters of kittens are "cool" until they grow up, get off mom's teats and then become more money out of the household account, so they are kicked outside, or dumped in shelters or rescue homes such as mine.

Because this is a cat welfare board, this part of the post needs to be addressed, because how sad for cats to have the life they have grown to understand and accept, uprooted and changed. It really isn't fair to them, and it happens all to often, and more than it should. And although there are a lot of stories to the contrary floating around that cats are a danger to pregnant women and babies, it is not entirely true. Although there is a possibility that a pregnant mother with no hygiene habits could become sick after handling a litter pan, common sense would dictate that she knows of the risk and would use rubber gloves, and wash her hands completely following litter pan duty. As for cats smothering babies by laying on their faces- that is pure hogwash.

I think it is important to note that Tasha is doing what she thinks is in the best interests of her cats.

You know, I dont know Tasha at all. But, I think it is really CRUEL to judge her because she is going to be a young mother fairly soon. Too often girls get pregnant, and some are extremely unresponsible. Atleast she is being responsible and chose not to terminate her pregnancy, and decided she is going to keep the baby. I am sure her cats will be going to a good home.
Personally, if it were me, I would not give up my animals, but that is just me.
But, dont go attacking someone that you personally do not know or know how she can be possibly feeling.

Originally posted by Megan214
A poster on the Petfinder forum provided a link to this conversation to demonstrate that there are sites where people are supportive and positive to mothers who must give up their pets. That conversation has become a free for all bash fest were the negative people from that board are insulting the young woman who is pregnant. I'm sorry to say that I am a member of that board (my screenname there is Megan), and that their negativity is leaking onto other sites. Here is the link to the Petfinder conversation. http://www.petfinder.org/?dcforum/do...y/8828.html#32

Again, I am so sorry that you are being insulted on this board, and on Petfinder.

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I followed this link out of curiousity and it only brings me to the main page. Did they pull the thread? Just curious.

Tasha, keep your chin up girl! Best of luck and please keep us posted on the upcoming events.

Petfinder's Community Forum is currently down, more than likely it is because messages had to be deleted as the other forums are not down.

Tasha, I wish you all the best with your new baby. I think knowing someone through an internet forum gives me no right to judge them. Hissy's post may or may not have been relevant to your particular case, but needed to be said. It certainly expresses this site's official position - when you take in a cat it's a commitment for the lifetime of the cat. Moving a cat from one home to another is always traumatizing for the cat and it needs not be done unless under the most extreme circumstances. That said, there can be such extreme circumstances - for me, the ultimate test is "what is best for the cat?". For example, if a cat is in an abusive home, they will be better off in another place.

I'm afraid pregnancy and expecting a new baby is one of the top reasons why people abandon their cats. This shouldn't be like this. Neither toxoplasmosis nor the new baby should cause anyone to give away their cats. Having a baby is one of those things in life you need to consider before you take a cat - if you think you can't have both and you may be having a baby during the cat's lifetime (which is 20 years)then maybe you shouldn't take the cat in the first place.

All that is something that needs to be addressed here as this site is concerned first and foremost with cat welfare. Tasha, I'm not pointing any fingers at you - I don't know your situation that well. What I said here is a general statement that reflects what this site stands for. It's up to you and your family to decide what is best for your cats in your specific situation.

Again, all the best with the baby and pregnancy if you need any pregnancy or baby advice please feel free to post here or contact me in private.

Look, Don't put Tash down all you new people here! It's making me soooo mad, This has made me cry , My Mum had me when she was 17 and I'd had to think that this much shi* would go on because of it and you called Tash a kid I MEAN COME ON you are 24 , ohh wow 6 years old puhlease, I really don't wanna start a fight, I too don't know Tasha teriibly well but I know her well enough, that she's a lovely purrson and would only do the best for her gorgeous cats , {{{HUGS}}} and 's Tash!!!

Love Sam.

from reading these posts. I do know that she is doing the right thing under the circumstances. For all her critics, is it possible to understand that some creep LIED to her and got her hopes up for nothing? Guys are masters at this! They lie about EVERYTHING!! Anyway, she lives under her parent's roof. SO DO I AND I AM IN MY MID-THIRTIES!! I have two cats and if my parents told me I had to get rid of BOTH, I would have to comply. I too know that I am safer with a "cover" (my parent's home). EVEN if I could afford to live on my own, I wouldn't do it. Women are more vulnerable than men when they live in their own place. You here of women getting murdered and raped all the time that have their own apt. or house. When was the last time you heard of a single male (in a good neighborhood) getting murdered or raped?)

I don't have friends close enough to rely on for help and I don't have a husband, brother, or boyfriend to be there for me in an emergancy. I absolutely hate it when people say I should be completely self-suffecient. IS ANYONE? EVERYONE has SOMEONE to help them through life, whether it be best friends (I don't have any), siblings (I have one married brother that lives too far away), boyfriends(none at the moment), etc. That lives me with just my parents to be a support if I need them. Why should I live in my own place? Then my father would have to come all the way to my place if I needed him to! This way, by living at home, we all help each other out and everyone has to sacrifice somethings, for me it is the number of pets I would LIKE to own. But in exchange for security and a (quality, safe) roof over my head, I would do it anytime! Tasha is doing what is best for her and her unborn child. Leave her alone.

Originally posted by TCS - Forums Administration
On behalf of TCS, this is a quick reminder that we expect our members to be courteous to each other and respectful of each other, even when disagreeing with each other. Any messages or images that are hateful or threatening in nature will be edited or deleted. In the Rules and Regulations of this forum it clearly states that flaming in any way will not be permitted. To view the complete Rules and Regulations that you agreed to when you registered, click on the red “Rules†button at the top of this page. Please keep this to a friendly discussion or this thread will be locked or deleted without any further warnings. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

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Just quoting this incase noone saw it....leave her alone yall!!

I don't see any flaming going on by the members I recognize from this board. I see some flaming by new people who came over here specifically to give Tasha a hard time.

Tasha, I was not targeting you in the statement of throwing your cats out like garbage. I should have clarified that. It was a blanket post- This type of post shows up here every now and again, with the topic of pregnancy, and other issues and the fact that cats get disregarded. I'm not wording this right, so I will stop. I am sure you have enough on your plate right now to deal with.

But again, I see no flaming going on here by the regular members, I see open discussion about a sensitive topic. I also will say it serves no purpose to go rooting around the internet finding posts where other people are discussing members in a negative light and bringing it them here to cross-post about. All that did (I'm sure) was add to Tasha's anguish. If you see something like that going on and you feel you have to tell the person, for pity's sake, go to PM or email to do so. That is what causes board wars and bad feelings.

I am done on this subject. Tasha I wish you the best, the path you have chosen, or that was chosen for you will be a hard one for awhile, I hope it all goes well for you.

Oh, so now all this is the boy's fault! Come on, it takes 2 to tango.
Even Tasha has admitted that she made a mistake....the rest of you don't have to defend her by blaming this on the boy. Also..of course you are being responsible and having the baby, it was too late to have the other option.
But, I don't know why this continues to be the main focus. The imoprtant issue is the stress the cats have to go through. So one cat was moved to a friend after living with Tasha, and will be coming back later? That is stressful. I know kittens will be ok because they didn't yet establish a home there, so moving them won't be as traumatic. But what about the older cats who have established a home? They are being stripped from the people thay love. I think the bashing should move from Tasha to her father.
If he was never a cat person, why did he sit there and allow 13 cats to take over his house? Tasha here is something for you to remember when raising your child....You can not allow everything that your family wants and all of a sudden change your mind. Make sure you have limits at first and then stick to them! What your father is doing is pretty rotten. Since he allowed all these cats before, he should continue to care for them like he alway had.

Originally posted by hissy
I don't see any flaming going on by the members I recognize from this board. I see some flaming by new people who came over here specifically to give Tasha a hard time.

Tasha, I was not targeting you in the statement of throwing your cats out like garbage. I should have clarified that. It was a blanket post- This type of post shows up here every now and again, with the topic of pregnancy, and other issues and the fact that cats get disregarded. I'm not wording this right, so I will stop. I am sure you have enough on your plate right now to deal with.

But again, I see no flaming going on here by the regular members, I see open discussion about a sensitive topic. I also will say it serves no purpose to go rooting around the internet finding posts where other people are discussing members in a negative light and bringing it them here to cross-post about. All that did (I'm sure) was add to Tasha's anguish. If you see something like that going on and you feel you have to tell the person, for pity's sake, go to PM or email to do so. That is what causes board wars and bad feelings.

I am done on this subject. Tasha I wish you the best, the path you have chosen, or that was chosen for you will be a hard one for awhile, I hope it all goes well for you.

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I'm sorry if I caused any additional hurt feelings by posting the link to Petfinder. That was not my intention at all. Someone was wondering if this conversation was linked, so I posted it here instead of messaging Tasha privately. Again, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to start a "board war" or cause any pain. I thought I was doing the right thing by making people aware of what was going on.

I'm a female who lives on her own and has for over 10 years. Sure I feel a little bit more vunerable that I would if I lived with my folks, but that is far outweighed by the independance and satisifaction I get from being self-suffient. My mother died when I was 18 and my father is remarried. Love my dad but I have a feeling that he doesn't want me living with him and the Mrs. So not everyone has the option of living at home, even if they wanted it, which I for the record do not.

I moved to another state where I had one uncle and he was 45 minutes away. I knew NOONE. I made a life for myself. After 7 years of living in a different state than all my friends and family I am finally to the point where I have friends. Like solid, people I can count on no matter what friends. Those are VERY hard to come by. I am proud of the life that I have built, and the fact that I have done it all 100% on my own.

If you want to live with your parents forever, that is your perrogitive for sure, but I have a quality, secure and safe life living on my own. Those things are mutally exclusive to never leaving the nest.

I too believe that just because you are female doesn't mean you can't live on your own. Sure, women get assaulted and raped, but half the time they are married women with husbands. Living at home with your parents does not make you any safer.