Neighbors

Oh boy- do I have a doozy of a story. The only advice I'm looking for at this point is HOW can we (dh and I) not get involved any more than we are?

These people moved in 2 years ago. The kids are- well a mess. The youngest has a problem with taking stuff (she ran off with somebody's shoes in dh's Sunday School class in 40 degree weather and it was raining, the poor kid went home without shoes b/c they couldn't find them). The older boy has anger issues. The cops were called in Dec b/c he had a BB gun and was shooting at people with it (they took it away and told him NO MORE BB guns). He also shot out one of our windows with the same BB gun.

Mom and dad have had their fair share of problems, and that's probably why the kids are so messed up. They've split up at least 2 times.

Well- she moved out in March. Mind you, her husband's in the Navy and is deployed in Iraq at the moment. She said he didn't know. And she took everything out of the house that wasn't nailed down. How do we know? Because one of the ladies from church helped her (and she shouldn't have- a whole other issue) and SHE told us how much stuff was taken. Because she's concerned for the welfare of the family- as much as we are.

Well, dh said we needed to tell the husband. Because there's guns in the house. And both parties are a mess. And we didn't want him coming home to an empty house and blowing his brains out. Or worse yet- taking a gun to go blow HER brains out. And then messing up the kids MORE than they already are.

So then she calls me today from work. And is mad. Because she got a call from her husband's commander saying that they got an email from a neighbor. I wasn't about ready to get into it and tell her that dh did talk to the command about what was going on (he even said he'd help take him home if need be- command told dh that everything was under control). So I told her we didn't do any emails. And that calmed her down.

UGGGGHHH. I have plenty of drama in my life. I have 2 teenage girls (isn't that enough LOL). I have 2 classes I HAVE to pass in order to continue on to nursing school in August. I don't want to be involved. I don't know if we did the right thing or not by notifiying his command. My neighbor SAID she'd written her husband a letter saying that she's moved out. But- she doesn't tell the truth (and then she wonders why lies slide so easily out of her kids' mouths) nor does she tell the entire story.

I worry most about the kids. There was a news article a few days ago where a 14 year old was killed accidentaly. Because there were a group of kids playing with a gun. Guess who I immediatly thought of? You guessed it- the kid next door. I don't want to wind up visiting him (or his sister) in juvi hall- but if things don't seriously change over there- I just don't know............

Thanks for listening.

Cheryl

If you are worried about the kids, call child and family services and tell them the situation. They will investigate and not say "we were called by a neighbour" when they do it.

this is just my opinion, but if there's guns in that house, and the boy has anger issues, then the authorities should be notified before something really bad happens. (Just don't give them your name). You said this boy has already shot at people with a BB gun. But if he gets really upset there's always a chance he could take those guns to school or a shopping mall and go on a deadly rampage. We really don't want any more stories like that on the evening news.

I guess I didn't explain myself very well.

Mom and the kids are gone. They moved out a month ago. I have no clue where. My kids are happy- the 2 kids were royal pains in the you-know-what. When my kids were out- these 2 would come over and just cause trouble.

When they moved, she took everything that wasn't nailed down. Except for a bedroom set and a antique car he's worked on. It's not covered up right now from the elements- so I know he's going to have a fit over that. Can't do anything about it- not my problem.

Our main concern was the husband coming back to an empty (and I do mean empty) house and harming himself or his wife. Because his "wife" didn't tell him in the first place that she was fed up and moving out.

And I think she's ticked at us anyways b/c we wouldn't help her move. Well- dh and I both thought that it was a really, really REALLY bad idea. To take the kids out of a school 3/4 of the way through the school year, and place them in a school that may not be as good as the ones they're currently in (and I don't think they are). Not to mention dh had drill that weekend anyhow.

Ugh.

Cheryl

Not much you can do...except seeing about getting a tarp to go over that antique car. Personally, I would do that since I can't stand to see a beautiful car go to waste.

Like I said, the rest of them are gone, so it's not really your problem anymore. Just pray something works out for the kids...

Do you know her name? You could report that to child services and they could do the rest (find them, etc.).

Sorry to hear about that whole messy situation. It's never a good one to be in! But maybe now that some of them have literally moved on, her husband will also- then you & your family can get back to not worrying about this stuff!

Originally Posted by Whisky'sDad

Not much you can do...except seeing about getting a tarp to go over that antique car. Personally, I would do that since I can't stand to see a beautiful car go to waste.

Like I said, the rest of them are gone, so it's not really your problem anymore. Just pray something works out for the kids...

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It is a pretty car. It's a hot rod- like something you'd have seen on Home Improvement (am I dating myself LOL)

But- I just don't care.
After the boy whacked my youngest over the head with a 2x4 (thank heavens she had her bike helmet on at the time) True- I think she'd done something to make him mad (took out a kite) but sheesh- you yell at someone for that, not whack them on the head!

shot out our side window with a bb gun. Got NO PUNISHMENT at all. Guess who's paying to fix it? Yep- we are.

And the girl ran of with dd's iPod. Would have stomped on it and broke it if I hadn't gotten it back.

I just DON'T care!

I know Easter's in a week. I'm having a real hard time trying to show Christian Love to these people.................

I'm a tad confused. If they have already moved I don't see what the problem is?

Originally Posted by Yosemite

I'm a tad confused. If they have already moved I don't see what the problem is?

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She called me this morning.
She got a nasty phone call from her husband's command.
They said that a neighbor had emailed them to say that she'd moved out of the house and taken everything from it.
So she called here to see if we did.
I guess to see what "side" we were on


My husband did inform the command- but it was a phone call, not an email.
And he said the only reason he did so was so that my neighbor wouldn't come home to an empty house and then try to hurt himself- or his wife (which could happen) Because- she didn't tell him. Or- she very well did tell him, but neglected to tell him that she took almost EVERYTHING out of the house.

It's not a fun situation, and I really didn't want to get involved.
But when there's a potental for someone getting hurt- well dh felt kind of obligated to say SOMETHING. I don't know if it was a good decision or not.

And I don't think he would have said anything- if the lady who'd helped her move hadn't told him that 1) she took almost everything and 2) she didn't tell him.

Originally Posted by Sneakymom

Our main concern was the husband coming back to an empty (and I do mean empty) house and harming himself or his wife. Because his "wife" didn't tell him in the first place that she was fed up and moving out. l

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Ahhhh! I see.

To be honest it really isn't any of your business what she did. It's between her and him. They don't need a third party getting involved passing along messages in case of "what if".

Your husband calling the guys command officer was completely out of line! He had no business doing that. What he should have done is left it alone and when he came back, be a friend to him. It's not his place to be phoning up the guys place of employment like he did.

Live your lives and let them live theirs.

There's another way to look at this. My father was an Army officer for thirty years, and from the stories he used to tell, it's not at all unusual for a soldier's commanding officer to be made aware of, and to some extent become involved with, the man's personal situation -- especially when the soldier is deployed overseas.

After all, it's the military that has separated this man from his family. If a wife or other family member does something in his absence to jeopardize the soldier's interests (endangering children, selling off property, etc.), informing the soldier through his commanding officer may be the only way to give the man a chance to prevent disaster. (Of course I'm aware that soldiers are often women now, but I'm thinking of the stories my father told, back in the day.)

My father had to intervene in several personal matters for soldiers under his command, including one whose wife nearly succeeded in selling off a tract of farmland that had been in his family for a century. Helping with such things is part of the overall support the military owes to the people who serve in it.

As for the specific issue at hand: I know you don't care about the wife or the kids, and understandably so. But the car belongs to the husband, and he shouldn't suffer unnecessarily, so... why not tie a cover over it? It may be the only the thing poor man has left.