why is frodo such a jerk?

frodo is getting to be more and more of a jerk lately. he is mean to the dog, he has started "attacking" blue, and just now he smacked ginny (ferret) around! i don't know what is going on with him. he is not attacking blue to hurt her, i don't think, but he is jumping on her and pinning her down and she is very vocal so it sounds like he is killing her. he is almost 4 times the weight of her! he was like that when he was a kitten, so i am assuming he is playing with her. he was always mean with the dog, i don't know how to change that one. he also always smacked the ferrets if they got to close, but never hard. today ginny walked passed him and he got up and followed her and smacked her a few times!! he didn't use claws from what i can see, but he still scared her. i don't know if he is angry that the ferrets are getting kibble and he isn't. i don't know, i am very frustrated. this combined with the fact that he DEMANDS everything, food, cuddles, anything that he wants, he has to have it right now, is driving me nuts! he will get on the coffee table and lay down and throw everything on the floor and roll around until everything is off. i know that is sounds like "normal" cat behaviour, you know, demanding things and all that stuff, but this is beyond that now, he is worse than he ever was. i don't know if it is because he is losing weight and feeling better or what. he was just at the vet in january so i don't think that there is anything medically wrong with him. he doesn't seem sick or sore anywhere, just a big jerk!

what do you think?? what can i do to make him nice? well, he was always a bit of a jerk, very demanding, but he has really stepped it up in the last few months! since the weight loss began! help me!

I think he needs more stimulation to keep him mentally challenged and to have his energies directed elsewhere than against the other animals in the household.

Physical separation is another strategy. If he can't treat the other animals nicely, he should be kept away from them; or them from him.

I just have to ask - is he neutered? It's spring and the hormones start going wacky!

Realistically, January was three months ago - that's plenty of time for a problem to develop.

You mention him losing weight, and you sound like it is expected, so presumably this is do to some change in his diet? That could be causing problems.

I would definately take him to the vet and get him checked out again, and very throughly.

yes, the weight loss is expected. he needs to lose about 6 lbs. we switched him to all canned food, well, we switched them both to all canned food. frodo is a kibble addict, but, seriously, it is either cave into his demands and give him kibble so his weight keeps going up and his life gets cut short, or feed him canned and get him to lose weight and be healthier and a jerk!

i try mental stimulation! i try to play with him all the time, but he plays for a few minutes and then goes his own way. today he chased and cornered the dog (who is a 50 lb sammy!!) and whacked him so i gave frodo a time out in the bathroom (where his litter box is) for a few minutes, maybe 4-5 minutes. he came back out and he was fine then. maybe the time outs will be the answer for now.

i honestly can't figure out what it could be medically, but i guess i am not a vet. he is not doing anything different other than the being meaner to everyone! the ferrets are eating kibble and he really wants kibble. he comes running when the ferrets are out because he thinks he can get some kibble. i can't give into him and give him kibble.

he was eating orijen kibble and wellness canned grain free but he only lost 1/2 a lb in a whole year! he is around 23 lbs now, and needs to be about 17-18 lbs. he is a very big cat. he is eating all canned grain free wellness now, but the price of that is going up now, so i have to get him something more affordable. i am trying to switch to evo canned and that seemed to be going ok at first but now they are not really eating it. i will continue to try. i am giving them wellness and evo alternating.

he always needs to be involved in any sort of "discipline" that is going on in my house. if blue is scratching on the couch (like she likes to) i will use my mean voice and tell her to give it up so then frodo has to give her a dirty look. if the dog is playing with me in the living room and frodo is sleeping in the bedroom he will come out and smack the dog so he won't play any more. he also demands food all the time, he will meow with every breath until i feed him. i have been working very hard at trying to change this behaviour. when he meows now i walk away from preparing his food. i won't come back until he stops meowing. then if i am carrying it over to where he eats and he meows it goes back on the counter until he is quiet. he doesn't get his food until he stops meowing. he is a very smart cat. he already gets this, but sometimes has a slip. we trained him not to meow at the bedroom door this way too, not opening it until he stops meowing. so, now he meows but will stop if he hears us moving. he will stop because he knows i don't open the door until he does, but then if i just turn over or something he will wait a bit and if the door doesn't open he will start meowing again in a bit. he is smart. someone mentioned maybe the hierarchy has changed in the house and he feels threatened? we have had ferrets since march 2008, but only got ginny this past feb., and we had the dog since june. i don't know! i just know that he is driving me nuts.

yes, he is neutered, since 5 1/2 months. frodo is 7 1/2 years old now.

Have you tried Feliway or Rescue Remedy? I've never used either, but there are people here who swear by it.

i do have a homeopathic drop that is for anxiety but i haven't used it since we moved and he settled. maybe i could try it again for a bit since we switched food. i didn't think about that. thank you maybe i will see if i can get feliway for a good price somewhere...it is at least $40 everywhere i can find it!

First, I want to congratulate you for working to get Frodo's weight down to a healthy level. As he losses weight, he will probably feel better and have more energy. If he likes Da Bird or a similar toy maybe you can use it to wear him out, without wearing yourself out.

I noticed that the new additions to your family have all been over the last year. The dog (Sammies are great!) and ferrets now take some of your attention away from Frodo. He may be competing by being bratty i.e. any attention, even bad, is better than being ignored and he is trying to figure out how these newcomers fit in. Years ago, I had cats, dogs and ferrets. It was interesting watching them interact. Watch Frodo with the ferrets, he may be testing to see if they are suitable as prey. Do not leave the ferrets out unsupervised with the cats or the dog. (I am sure you already know this.) My ferrets would get into trouble by nipping the dogs' feet and bouncing around the cats chuckling. (Ferrets are basically furry animated slinkies with a voice box.) The cats usually retreated to someplace high that the ferrets couldn't reach. Make sure your cats can get away from the ferrets if they want to. Behavior we humans find cute may be viewed as a threat by another animal.

Frodo has a lot to adjust to now with new animals, less attention from you and a diet to top it all off. It will take more time for him to adjust. The Feliway is a good suggestion, BTW. The timeouts are useful, too.

Oh, don't let him bully Blue. If she's yelling for help, tell Frodo to knock it off and separate them. You don't want him to redirect his frustration over the new order at her. It could escalate to her getting hurt.

Do make a time to give Frodo your undivided attention. A play session or brushing (if he likes that) something to reassure him he's still loved.

frodo does love to be brushed and always comes around demanding it to be his turn when i brush the dog. i do brush him, but i think that i will up the amount of time i spend brushing him now. i can't find da bird in any stores in my area but i do have a feather boa type thing on a stick that frodo will play with for a few minutes. maybe he is feeling neglected. he is just getting so pushy/jerky lately that i may be spending less time with him without realizing it. i made extra effort today to give him tons of extra cuddles so i hope that this helps.

i do separate frodo and blue when he pins her down or picks on her. frodo will continue to get time outs if he continues to pick on/hurt the other animals. he was doing so good with the dog for so long and now it is bad again. maybe it is the food change. i didn't even think of that. (i feel so stupid! poor kitty!) i don't know if he is trying to test the ferrets for prey, but i don't leave them unattended with the cats or the dog around. the ferrets that i have now are very laid back and do not pick at the cats at all. frodo seems to be very unprovoked for this, i just don't know why he is doing it. poor ginny is scared of him now. the cats have lots of places to get away from the ferrets and the dog is never allowed near them (too high a prey drive!).

thank you for your help. i really appreciate it.

You're welcome. I hope I could help.

Oddly enough, the first dog I owned was a Sammy. She had no prey drive so the ferrets would chase her around nipping her toes and she would dance picking her feet up as high as possible until I would rescue her. That was twenty-six years ago. Ferrets back then were rarely speutered or descented and they had a lot of attitude and could be very nippy.

If Ginny is running from Frodo that could trigger his prey drive. To a cat, if it acts like prey, then it is prey. Or at the least an animated toy.

Good luck for you and Frodo.

Originally Posted by laureen227

check Amazon - i've found pretty decent deals there. also check there for DaBird [i've included links, btw]. i'd advise against the 2-piece rod, so the link i put is for the single-piece one.

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thank you for the links. i have had trouble getting things shipped to canada from amazon. i checked the store that i thought i had seen feliway in yesterday and the girl there looked at me as if i was talking gibberish! i will keep looking though.

Perhaps Frodo needs a Sam?

a sam? not sure what that is

Sam (Samwise), Frodo companion and best friend.

Originally Posted by blueandfrodo

a sam? not sure what that is

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Haven't you read Lord of the Rings? I would have thought that a person with a cat named Frodo would be a big LOTR fan.

yes, i have heard of lotr. i also have a samoyed so i wasn't sure what you were talking about. frodo will probably never have a best friend since he has the opportunity to be friends with another cat here and he just picks on everyone. like i said, frodo is a jerk.