Ally and Ollie meet Thursday, and I leave the following Wednesday

Yup, cats are all about territory. Also, in our experience, females tend to be more jealous about our spending time with other cats (at first), so there may be a little bit of that at play too.

With cats, it's all about time, and they go at their own pace. The scent swapping and doing things to help Ally associate Ollie with good things can help.... but they're young enough they WILL get over it. At least he's starting to stand his ground, and that's a good thing! I know the tension between the two of them is hard to take, but having a kitty that lets himself be bullied is even harder.

How much vertical space do you have? This can really help diffuse alpha-status and territory tensions. I know it'd be one or two more things to move when you go, but providing space for Ally (or Ollie) to go "up" may also help.

Laurie

Thirty years ago we had a 1 year old cat named Elmer. We decided to get him a "brother", and he was NOT HAPPY. We wondered if Elmer would kill the kitten sometimes, with his aggressiveness toward him.

About a week later Kip (the baby, who at 7 weeks was clearly missing mommy) began to "nurse" on his neutered big bro. I swear - I have pictures! This went on for months.

They became closer than any two cats I have had together before or after. Kip started out of the yard once, as a kitten, and Elmer carried him back in by the scruff of his neck. They grew up the absolute best of friends.

It will take time. Yours are young, they will work this out. I know you feel kind of guilty loving on the "underdog" when you're supposed to be showering attention on the first kitty. It's okay - I did the same thing when my newbies came on board - I couldn't stand to see them look so hurt and scared.

I introduced a new cat to my other 4 cats back in Oct...the one I thought would be the most friendly wasn't...the one I thought would be trouble was friends with the kitten within a few days....we are going on 6 months now....and finally the kitten can groom the one that "didn't like " her....They never really had any fights just at first did alot of hissing then the unfriendly one would just bascily ignore the kitten..my point is....getting used to each other can be so different....and sometimes they just aren't what we would expect..I wanted them all sleeping together grooming and playing and enjoying each other....that rarely happens in my house...Except for the new kitten and my chihuahua's she bonded with them the same night we got her....I think all will be fiine within a few weeks...

It really hasn't been much time since you put them together. They're still working out dominance and territorial issues. You could try putting a dab of vanilla at the base of their tails, but otherwise I would just leave them to work things out on their own.

I got Shareena when she was 7.5 weeks old and brought Miss Patchwillow home 6 weeks later. I didn't know anything about doing introductions, just assumed that because they were littermates and had spent the first 7 weeks of their lives together that they would be fine. So I opened the carrier door and let Miss Patchwillow come out on her own. Instant catfight. Hissing, spitting, arched back, clawing, biting, the whole deal. I didn't see any blood but it was close. I thought I had made a horrible mistake and would have to find another home for Miss Patchwillow. Then in the middle of the second afternoon they suddenly decided that they were best friends. I'd swear Shareena took Miss Patchwillow all over the house and showed her every place she wasn't allowed to go.

Give them a little more time. If Ollie and Ally are still fighting when you have to leave next week you might want to separate them again while you're gone. Then you can start over with the introductions when you get back.

This is just scary to watch. Now Ollie is getting really aggressive. I guess he decided that if Ally wasn't going to be nice to him, he wasn't going to be nice to her and now he's on the attack pawing her in the face.

I think the situation is getting close to a rolling, hissing, screaming, and growling ball of fur on the ground.

I have a feeling that for them to get along could take at least a week.

Probably not. However, I HAVE seen our cats wrestle and yowl in a way that was scary. I've also seen the "victim" get up, look calmly around, and start it again.

You have the equivalent of two teenagers, not babies. They are learning how to be dominant, and they are learning how to socialize in feline behavior, and it takes a while for all that to work out.

One reason Ally may be more aggressive in person than through glass is that she can smell him better. Using the vanilla application can help. However, after you apply it, give the cats a while to adjust to their own "new" smell.

They're still so young, I think it's all just temporary!

Things have gotten more interesting. Ollie is back to being relaxed because he figured out how to deal with Ally and I think Ally is surprised at Ollie's new strategy.

He'll just relax now and when she comes up and hisses at him in his face, he just punches her in the face with his paw and then she's quiet for a while with this surprised look on her face.

I don't know if that's good or bad. They're eating next to each other right now which has to be good.

Sounds like they're getting it figured out on their own. Their pawpa is probablly more stressed than they are.

Originally Posted by LawGuy

Things have gotten more interesting. Ollie is back to being relaxed because he figured out how to deal with Ally and I think Ally is surprised at Ollie's new strategy.

He'll just relax now and when she comes up and hisses at him in his face, he just punches her in the face with his paw and then she's quiet for a while with this surprised look on her face.

I don't know if that's good or bad. They're eating next to each other right now which has to be good.

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Yeah... they're working it out. He's figured out that he needs to give her a taste of her own medicine. Good for Ollie. Being "Mr. Nice Guy" wasn't working for him. It's good that he's standing his ground. And eating next to each other is a good sign, as others have stated.

We had two young males in our rescue's storefront who didn't know each other. They fought and tussled. I thought Quigley was gonna seriously hurt Owen, but then I realized Quigs just wanted to play "boy rough." And Owen could have escaped from Quig's cages (he had jumped in there) but he didn't. Now the two of them are buds and are sharing that space - 4 cages across with porthole pass-throughs. They hang out, they tussle and they groom each other. And Quigley isn't so lonely (He really wanted a wrestle buddy). And it's funny cuz Quig is the shy one. If you want to pet him you have to practically climb into the cage.

As a cute aside, I was petting and cudding Quigs -- bent over at the waist, the upper half of my body IN the cage with him... and Owen came over, trilling and purring, and climbed onto my back and laid down!

Ally is acting even stranger now.

When she's growling, if I try to pet her or hold her, she makes these sounds like she's in pain....

at first I thought she was injured, but if I try to repeat touching the same area, she doesn't make the same sound. She makes it when I touch her in any random place really, but otherwise doesn't seem to be in any real pain. When she's relaxed, like falling asleep, I can pet her and she'll start purring, and not make the same noises.... so it's weird.

Is this her stressed out? Do cats exhibit stress as physical pain?

(btw - if anybody wonders how it is that I keep posting about them and am watching them, it's because from now until I leave for a brief trip in a week, I have nothing to do but watch these two and study for the GMAT. So I'm with them and with the computer 24/7 b/c the GMAT training is partially computerized, and this computer is in the same room as Ally and Ollie.)

My Bru hates going to the vet and when hubby took him for his yearly Friday he made a gutteral growl sound for 20 mins straight. It's amazing the noises that can come out of sweet little kitties.

It sounds like they are just working out the hierarchy... Ally is the first in charge - to help make peace, make sure she comes first on everything. Put her food down first, give her treats first, pet her first, etc. This will help her to feel safe that she hasn't lost her place in the house, and not feel jealous of him.
What works great as well is playing with both of them together - da bird works wonders on that.

Originally Posted by carolinalima

It sounds like they are just working out the hierarchy... Ally is the first in charge - to help make peace, make sure she comes first on everything. Put her food down first, give her treats first, pet her first, etc. This will help her to feel safe that she hasn't lost her place in the house, and not feel jealous of him.
What works great as well is playing with both of them together - da bird works wonders on that.

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I always thought (from what I had read) that who came first doesn't determine cat hierarchy...the one who is alpha material will become alpha no matter what...Am I wrong?? I don't know much i'm just asking..

Originally Posted by ut0pia

I always thought (from what I had read) that who came first doesn't determine cat hierarchy...the one who is alpha material will become alpha no matter what...Am I wrong?? I don't know much i'm just asking..

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Cats are VERY territorial. On Ally's mind, the house and LawGuy are hers. When Ollie comes in, she feels like he is an intruder, jeopardizing her territory. The way to keep peace in the house, and have them work out, is to assure Ally that she is still number one, and that she comes first in hierarchy. Only by feeling safe she will stop seeing him as a threat to her territory. Luckily it sounds like Ollie is not an alpha cat, so this should be easier to do.
You would be surprised how they react to territory "violations". My lucky was never alpha "material", she was actually pretty shy - until Bugsy came into the house. She has since become an alpha, and I helped her to see that it was ok to be one - she was safe.
Even today, months later, her food still comes first, her treats come first, and at night when I carry them to bed, she goes first. I also pet her first when both are near me... It keeps the peace, and they absolutely LOVE each other...

Originally Posted by carolinalima

Cats are VERY territorial. On Ally's mind, the house and LawGuy are hers. When Ollie comes in, she feels like he is an intruder, jeopardizing her territory. The way to keep peace in the house, and have them work out, is to assure Ally that she is still number one, and that she comes first in hierarchy. Only by feeling safe she will stop seeing him as a threat to her territory. Luckily it sounds like Ollie is not an alpha cat, so this should be easier to do.
You would be surprised how they react to territory "violations". My lucky was never alpha "material", she was actually pretty shy - until Bugsy came into the house. She has since become an alpha, and I helped her to see that it was ok to be one - she was safe.
Even today, months later, her food still comes first, her treats come first, and at night when I carry them to bed, she goes first. I also pet her first when both are near me... It keeps the peace, and they absolutely LOVE each other...

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Interesting- I still have so much learning to do.. So the new cat that's being introduced wouldn't feel left out at all??

Originally Posted by ut0pia

Interesting- I still have so much learning to do.. So the new cat that's being introduced wouldn't feel left out at all??

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No, not really.... It doesn't mean that you don't give him/her love, you just give it a few seconds later... And of course when Bugsy comes to me, I always give him my undivided attention... Until Lucky comes over, that is... Then I give her my solo attention, and start to pet both of them.
I made sure to chose Bugsy to fit Lucky - I asked for the least alpha in the house .
Doing this really really help to keep the peace, and avoid jealousy.

Tried da bird. Turns out, unexpectedly, Ollie is actually better at it than Ally, he can jump higher and hold onto it really well (I have to REALLY pull to get it out of his mouth).

Ollie being better at it made Ally even more p/o'd. Add to that the mid-air collisions they had and Ally is ticked!

Originally Posted by ut0pia

I always thought (from what I had read) that who came first doesn't determine cat hierarchy...the one who is alpha material will become alpha no matter what...Am I wrong?? I don't know much i'm just asking..

Click to expand...

This is actually correct. However, the first cat in a household can often times feel resentment if an alpha-apparent moves in on their territory. And if you have 2 cats that are alpha-apparent, they either work out a peaceful coexistance or you'll find one slightly more alpha than the other.

Alley and Ollie are still very young kittens. And while alpha tendencies can show up in very young kittens, its the best time for them to adapt to each other. I'm not sure I would worry about "alpha" at this early stage.

Give them both a lot of love and attention. As hard as what it will be, don't portray human emotions on them. They are kittens, who are at a formative stage in life where life's lessons are learned through play. If they are already eating side by side, they've made great strides.

I had two male kittens (brothers) that were like that. One could jump higher and was faster than his 'small built' brother. A true athlete and an awkward little brother. One night out of feeling sorry for the little guy, I pulled the laces from my shoes and sat in the floor dragging a shoelace for each kitten. That solved the immediate competition for one toy.

Have you tried the "cat dancer" toy? They make one that you can stick to the wall or door. All of mine play with it the most.