My first post - I got a question!

Hi - I'm Debs - and here's our cat story so far!! In October 2004 we became 'parents' to 2 beautiful tomcats one full ginger (Carrot) & the other ginger & white (Parsnip) - they were kittens & there are brothers.

They thrived & all was well until about 2 years down the line - Carrot basically moved out - it was gradual - he stopped coming home as often - would miss meals etc (so not like him) & eventually after being gone for about 3 weeks turned up (we have a cat flap) wearing a collar inscribed with a new name & everything - I was horrified but I do understand that cats choose their owners - although how anyone would of thought our big strong strapping ginger tom was a stray is beyond me - however - scrolling forward - Carrot has still come back to visit - about every 3 months or so - he'll pop in ...eat from Parsnips bowl - he's even spent the night on our bed & then gone again...until this week...hes been here every day...not all day but he's taken to coming in in the morning - and this morning after sharing his brothers breakfast he even resumed his stance on the living room window sill..

We would happily let him come home - but my worry is for Parsnip - will he be okay with his brother 'moving back in' ...I don't wanna lose him now ...I am well aware that carrot may just be a bit of a wanderer cat & he may just disappear again at any moment but Parsnip & him have had a 'hissing' moment in the hallway yesterday - tho Parsnip did move aside at his bowl & let his brother eat some of his breakfast...

Advice from you guys would be much appreciated - am I worrying unnecessarily - will it all work out in the wash as it were - is there something I should be doing????

HELP!!!


Thank you

Debs x

Getting him neutered should help curb the wandering, sounds like Parsnip is accepting him back if they shared breakfast. 2 toms often won't get along, but if you neuter them both it will help.

Hi and welcome! So am I correct in understanding both are not neutered? Both are around 5 years old and indoor/outdoor? Parsnip primarily lives with you indoors and doesn't spray? And since Carrot has revisited, he hasn't sprayed? If it hasn't happened yet, it will. the priority should be having both neutered.....

Thank you for your thoughts & for the welcome!

Sorry should have said they are both neutered, have been since they were old enough to be doctored at the vets ..

Any other thoughts?

Additt : they are both outdoor cats too.


debs xx

We once "had" a cat that called about 5 different families "his." He would come in every couple of days, eat, sleep, and head on out to the next stage stop.

But if your cat spent several weeks with someone else, I can easily see that they would assume he was a stray looking for a home. The fact he's back now may indicate a change there, such as them moving out, or something.

Originally Posted by irishangel111

Sorry should have said they are both neutered, have been since they were old enough to be doctored at the vets ..

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You called them Tomcats, which are un-neutered boys.

Perhaps you could enclose your yard, or leash train them. That way they are not free roaming but still get to enjoy some outdoor time.

I apologise for not using the correct term ...they were tomcats when we got them - then they saw the vet....

I'm sorry but I have obviously not explained myself at all well, Carrot has been living elsewhere for over 2 years now - popping in to see us every few months since leaving ...but he seems to be planning on 'coming home' & I just wondered if there was anything I could do so that Parsnip doesn't feel pushed out...

I wouldn't keep them indoors or restrain them on a leash - they are free to wander - our garden is a shared access garden but it is safe, has been since they arrived.


It really is just a question on how to prepare Parsnip for his brothers return...

Originally Posted by irishangel111

I apologise for not using the correct term ...they were tomcats when we got them - then they saw the vet....

I'm sorry but I have obviously not explained myself at all well, Carrot has been living elsewhere for over 2 years now - popping in to see us every few months since leaving ...but he seems to be planning on 'coming home' & I just wondered if there was anything I could do so that Parsnip doesn't feel pushed out...

I wouldn't keep them indoors or restrain them on a leash - they are free to wander - our garden is a shared access garden but it is safe, has been since they arrived.


It really is just a question on how to prepare Parsnip for his brothers return...

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Do you know the other people who have cared for him as well? I would want to be sure of his health, flea and tick treatment regularly and worming. Since they both share the great outdoors together as well as being brothers, I wouldn't think there be to much confrontation. Just keep a close eye on them for a while, see if you can get them to interactive play with you together. Let us know how it's going!......

I see you are from England where indoor/outdoor cats are common.

I would let the "boys" work out their relationship. It seems as though they already are. They will challenge each other for dominance until one of them gains the "title". If they are raging and fighting with each other, I would just keep an eye and see how they progress. If they start seriously fighting then more action will likely need to be taken such as Feliway spray or separation to begin with. Does Parsnip also go outside?

From what you described about Parsnip letting Carrot eat out of his bowl it sounds like things are going well. Some hissing isn't uncommon and I suspect they'll sort it out for themselves. I'm glad Carrot came home! I hope he'll stay there but he may wander off again.