Roommates....

whisky'sdad · Mar 27, 2009

Screw giving them notice! Tell them to start doing stuff now or their gone! Personally, for my well being, I would have put up with it for maybe a week and then told them the above. If they didn't listen, I'd put their stuff outside and tell them "Tough luck!" They aren't paying anything and they are not on the lease, goodbye! It sucks that you might lose a friend, but people lose friends every day.

Sanity is at stake here!

dixie_darlin · Mar 27, 2009

Brandon talked to them behind closed doors this afternoon. He explained to them that I'm worn out. That I can't do everything around here. He also told them we didn't mind helping them the first week or so but now it's become that we're being taken advantage of.

So tonight she did the dishes from earlier today while I cooked dinner. Then after dinner he put the leftovers away and did the dinner dishes.

Supposedly tomorrow they're giving me $150. We'll see

natalie_ca · Mar 27, 2009

Originally Posted by Dixie_Darlin

Any advice?

Yep!

Give them 2 weeks notice to be out of your house!

They have money for other things but not to support their living expenses. They need to be out on their own so they can do whatever they want with their money.

If they say they have no place to go, give them the name of a homeless shelter and the local welfare office.

natalie_ca · Mar 27, 2009

Originally Posted by Dixie_Darlin

I know they needed the help. They were kicked out of his sister's house and had no place to go. I'm begining to see why

Yep, they probably did the same thing with his sister and she got tired of supporting them. It's time you stop too. Give them notice. They need to learn to stand on their own 2 feet.

spudsmom · Mar 27, 2009

Originally Posted by Keycube

Yeah, I have five roommates. Their pictures are posted in my profile. Never do a damn thing; just lie around all day, eat, wrestle on occasion. They seem to think everything I have is just here for their amusement. Oh, wait...it is.

You'll never convince me that people were meant to cohabitate. Whether married, friends, acquaintances, whatever; there's always gamesmanship and exploitation.

Whether it requires a 2nd (or 3rd) job, bank heist, prostitution, or what have you - ANYTHING is better than having a roommate.

Hee! 5 roommates...I love it.

My best friend and I were roommates for awhile many years ago. We did fine splitting the bills...no problems there. There were problems in other areas. She's a neat freak and I'm not. She wanted a white glove house, but wanted someone else to do it. To this day her kids come over and clean her house. I was not one of her kids. Anyway, I love her to death and if the time ever comes...when we're old and only have each other, I can see us being roommates again. She's been my BF for almost 27 years, more like my sister.

laureen227 · Mar 27, 2009

Originally Posted by Keycube

Yeah, I have five roommates. Their pictures are posted in my profile. Never do a damn thing; just lie around all day, eat, wrestle on occasion. They seem to think everything I have is just here for their amusement. Oh, wait...it is.

yours sound just like mine!

i've never had a roomate thru choice... except for those mentioned above. had a couple in college because my parents wouldn't pay for a private room. also had to share a room w/my sister until i was 15. but that's it - never lived w/another person.

now, i'd make an exception for a husband - but no one else!

carolina · Mar 27, 2009

I am sorry - I would give them notice; or at least an ultimatum. It looks like you guys need to have a meeting and put everything on the table. If they don't agree to the terms, give them 1 month's notice, and that's it. Write everything down - who is going to what for cleaning and such, how and when the bills are going to be paid, and the general rules of the house.
As far as cooking - I would start buying food for myself only, and mark my stuff in the fridge. Get separate cabinets in the kitchen. Cook only for yourself. If they want to eat, they buy it and prepare it.
No more making of you a bank or a maid.
If you decide to share the expenses for food, you can do so, with cash right on the supermarket for the bills. I would not cook for them though.
Whatever you do, be consistent - like children, consistance is everything for a situation like this.
Also, don't be afraid of speaking up - treat being roomates like a business arrangement. You guys can be friends, but as far as the rules goes, you are roommates, nothing else.
This might be rough in the beginning, but it will save you a lot of aggravations.

cococat · Mar 27, 2009

I have never lived alone. I have always shared a house or apartment purely for cost reasons. Wouldn't be my first choice!

Some roommate arrangements worked out better than others, but none were ever perfect. I did have one that was pretty good, but also had several that were very awful! Oh boy do I have stories! People are quite crazy to live with that is for sure and messy.

I never went in on groceries unless we were cooking a specific meal together or something like that. Helped avoid problems as I am picky with foods anyway. I had my own phone that I paid.
Bills were spilt equally as rent. Sometimes this works, sometimes this doesn't.

Not what I would label a roommate but I live with my significant other. Over the years I have loved sharing my home and heart with such a wonderful person. And he is clean.

I am lucky. We have a house and sometimes consider renting a room or two out, but then reconsider. We both enjoy not having roommates too much. The cost isn't worth it! Sometimes money costs too much.

Good luck to you!

dixie_darlin · Mar 27, 2009

I'm going to see if they come up with any money tomorrow. If not, they have to go. Period!

Her ex-husband brought over some groceries for them tonight, along with her 2 kids. She didn't even tell us they were coming. Actually, until 2 days ago, I didn't know she had other kids

Makes me wonder why she doesn't have custody

I went grocery shopping tonight and yes, I hid alot of things in our bedroom. Mainly because I'm not taking food out of my childrens mouths to feed them.

Right now it's 2am and I can't sleep because they have the TV in their room so loud that it's shaking the house at times. They have a HUGE surround sound system hooked up to it.

I want to say something to them but Brandon said it's nagging

They slept all day so they're up all night

whisky'sdad · Mar 28, 2009

Wow, she has a ex-husband and 2 kids?? THAT'S surprising!!

dixie_darlin · Mar 28, 2009

Originally Posted by Whisky'sDad

Wow, she has a ex-husband and 2 kids?? THAT'S surprising!!

I know, right?

The youngest of hers started screaming around an hour ago and hasn't stopped since

My 7yr old just came into my room and said "If she doesn't shut him up, I WILL!"

So I knocked on their door and she was dead asleep

I don't know how she slept to the childs shrieking!

cheylink · Mar 28, 2009

Originally Posted by Dixie_Darlin

I know, right?

The youngest of hers started screaming around an hour ago and hasn't stopped since

My 7yr old just came into my room and said "If she doesn't shut him up, I WILL!"

So I knocked on their door and she was dead asleep

I don't know how she slept to the childs shrieking!

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot more then a difficult roommate. There are children involved on both sides and this should be the commonality equally respected as well as shared. They are showing no respect in regards to you, your generosity, your children, and then there is their own children.
It is disturbing that your 7 year old not only expressed discomfort but was willing to confront the situation if she didn't!
I know this would be very difficult for you, but you need to evict them. This is not a healthy living situation for all involved. If this is who they are and how they live, don't let it effect how you and yours live any longer. It is intolerable for a roommate to be so disrespectful of the house, and the fact that it's another family blows my mind! I was expecting this thread to be about a couple college students.......

trouts mom · Mar 28, 2009

When I used to have room mates, the rent would be split evenly. We would each give a check for $___ amount each month. One of us would pay the bills in full, and the other would pay back their share to the one who paid. For food, we all bought our own.

lsulover · Mar 28, 2009

Originally Posted by Dixie_Darlin

Yea, I mentioned it to him one night when we went to the store

I told him that it needs to be 50/50. Well, since then HE is the one doing everything while she literally sits on her rear end.
Now, I understand she's pregnant but I also know what it's like to be pregnant.
Perfect example is day before yesterday. I told her "Please try to keep the dishes out of your room"
She rolled her eyes as she walked away and said "I'm not a

kid"

Oh I was hot!
I told her that not ONCE have I ever disrespected her since they moved in and I thought it was very immature of her to roll her eyes and make snide little remarks as she walked away.
It caused a huge arguement and I told her the reason I haven't said anything to her was to keep from this happening and that's why I went to her boyfriend.
Apparently he never said anything about it and he was the one doing all of these things and not her.
Then Wed night Brandon asked her to do the dishes because WE had bought all the groceries AND cooked dinner. She said she would get to them. Well, they were sitting there the next morning.
He asked her again, she said there was no hot water left and would get to them... I ended up doing the dishes myself!

I'm thinking it might be better to just ask them to pay what they owe and move out

They owe us over $500 for the last 3 weeks... and that's not including groceries. Thats for half the ulitities at the other house, half the deposit to move into the new house, and half of the rental truck to move.

I may never see the money

You might be better off if you just tell them to leave, you might end up not getting any money you are owed, but I think it would be worth it. You would have so much less stress. Anyways, I think that is what I would do.

I hope it works out for you.

dixie_darlin · Mar 28, 2009

After discussing it with Brandon we are thinking about doing 1 of 2 things.

1. We are going to wait until after her kids go home on Sunday and we're going to ask them to leave. I just can't do this anymore. The stress is too high for me and a few things happened this morning that pushed me over the edge!

2. We are going to move ALL of the food that we've paid for into our bedroom closet. anything in the fridge is going to be labeled and we are only going to wash our own dishes ONLY and clean up after ourselves and cook for ourselves.

And I'm going to stop being as social and giving as I was.

I'm still undecided but honestly, I'm leaning towards kicking them out!

lsulover · Mar 28, 2009

Originally Posted by Dixie_Darlin

After discussing it with Brandon we are thinking about doing 1 of 2 things.

1. We are going to wait until after her kids go home on Sunday and we're going to ask them to leave. I just can't do this anymore. The stress is too high for me and a few things happened this morning that pushed me over the edge!

2. We are going to move ALL of the food that we've paid for into our bedroom closet. anything in the fridge is going to be labeled and we are only going to wash our own dishes ONLY and clean up after ourselves and cook for ourselves.

And I'm going to stop being as social and giving as I was.

I'm still undecided but honestly, I'm leaning towards kicking them out!

I would just kick them out, if not I am afraid one day someone is gonna lose it big time. You are already stressed and it ain't gonna get no better.

cococat · Mar 28, 2009

Originally Posted by cheylink

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot more then a difficult roommate.

yeah that! This seems like it can only get more messy as more surprises reveal themselves. This isn't Maury...it is your home. How bizarre and highly uncomfortable.
More vibes

yosemite · Mar 29, 2009

I'm very confused. These people are in your home, right? They are being very difficult, right? I honestly don't see the problem. Are you expecting they won't respect you if you kick them out? They don't respect you now! Just tell them they have to leave your home.

kscatlady · Mar 29, 2009

Originally Posted by Dixie_Darlin

After discussing it with Brandon we are thinking about doing 1 of 2 things.

1. We are going to wait until after her kids go home on Sunday and we're going to ask them to leave. I just can't do this anymore. The stress is too high for me and a few things happened this morning that pushed me over the edge!

2. We are going to move ALL of the food that we've paid for into our bedroom closet. anything in the fridge is going to be labeled and we are only going to wash our own dishes ONLY and clean up after ourselves and cook for ourselves.

And I'm going to stop being as social and giving as I was.

I'm still undecided but honestly, I'm leaning towards kicking them out!

You should kick them out. Ugh, goodness. After my mom divorced her second husband she was one of those people you have in your house mooching off you. It won't get better. Don't worry, people like that always have someone else they can mooch off of. But thanks for waiting for the kids to go home, it's hard having a mother like that.

dixie_darlin · Mar 30, 2009

Originally Posted by Yosemite

I'm very confused. These people are in your home, right? They are being very difficult, right? I honestly don't see the problem. Are you expecting they won't respect you if you kick them out? They don't respect you now! Just tell them they have to leave your home.

Originally Posted by kscatlady

You should kick them out. Ugh, goodness. After my mom divorced her second husband she was one of those people you have in your house mooching off you. It won't get better. Don't worry, people like that always have someone else they can mooch off of. But thanks for waiting for the kids to go home, it's hard having a mother like that.

I just told them I'm giving them til Saturday to come up with what they owe. The only reason I'm giving them that long is because I know he doesn't get paid but every 2 weeks.
As much as I would like to kick them out, Brandon wants to give them one last chance

The water was turned off this morning because they told us they would take care of it and they didn't.

So now I've got to pay out MORE to get it back on.
If it were up to me, they'd be on the streets!

And not to get too personal, Brandon and I are fighting because of this now.
I told him that it's getting to be too much for me
I told them this morning that I was feeling very disrespected, unappreciated and taken advantage of. She was very childish and walked away yelling at her boyfriend that they need to move out because she's tired of being treated like a child!

I'm about to tell Brandon that it's them or me.. My stress level is going full blast on high right now and I just can't handle it!

Roommates....

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