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13 Year Old Boy - Not the Father

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
The 13 year old boy in the UK is not the father of the baby after all. DNA ruled him out.

Tests Show 13 Year Old Boy is not the Father
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post #2 of 26
She has some explaining to do
post #3 of 26
This proves as a good out for this little boy maybe now he can be a real child and let her get on with her life. What a strange story!
post #4 of 26
That girl's parents sure didn't do a very good job did they. They should have spanked her.
post #5 of 26
This is so ridiculous. What I wonder is, what were these boys thinking coming forward and saying they also slept with her?? And the girl- WOW. 14 and already having MULTIPLE sex partners.....The entire story is just so crazy.
post #6 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by ckblv View Post
That girl's parents sure didn't do a very good job did they. They should have spanked her.
Then she may have been scarred for life and that would have been far worse than having multiple sex partners and a baby while still a young teen.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ut0pia View Post
This is so ridiculous. What I wonder is, what were these boys thinking coming forward and saying they also slept with her?? And the girl- WOW. 14 and already having MULTIPLE sex partners.....The entire story is just so crazy.
I believe there are many 14 year olds these days who have had multiple sex partners so it doesn't seem crazy to me.
post #7 of 26
That's ridiculous....I mean I would undertand if one day their hormones just took over. But this systematic kind of thing, with more than one partner is just beyond my understanding... No 14 year old I've ever been around, and none of my friends when I was 14 were doing anything like this...If there are many 14 year olds who do this kind of thing, then I must have been living in a bubble.
post #8 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by ut0pia View Post
.If there are many 14 year olds who do this kind of thing, then I must have been living in a bubble.
Or you were in a bible belt area or some such thing.
post #9 of 26
It is a very sad thing.I can relate to the girl (although I did not have "multiple sex partners") I had my son at 15.Sometimes it happens (alot where I am at) and for this very reason I am VERY strict with my kids (boys and girls) and I always know where they are at,they only have supervised internet access,I monitor what they watch on tv etc.....but I am sure it can still happen despite all this.My Mom was a great Mom and I did get spanked and yet I still had a baby at 15.I still have my son, I finished high school I am in college right now and I think I am a great Mom.We should not automatically assume if something like this happens it is because of the parents!Just my 2 cents
post #10 of 26
It is things like this that make me glad I have a great relationship with my daughters. Kendra will be 13 this July. I was having sex at 14. She won't be. That statement may arise some questions from others, as in how do I know she won't. I know my daughter, we have had many healthy discussions on sex and we are very open and honest with each other.

My mom never talked to me about sex....it was a taboo conversation. I learned about sex from abuse at the age of 7. My daughter learned about sex from me.

I can't help but wonder if these parents, both of the girl and boys, ever talked to them about sex. I also can't help but think that this type of situation may have been prevented if there had been healthy discussions about sex.

Proudmami said:
Quote:
My Mom was a great Mom and I did get spanked and yet I still had a baby at 15.I still have my son, I finished high school I am in college right now and I think I am a great Mom.We should not automatically assume if something like this happens it is because of the parents!
I agree to a certain extent that it is not always because of the parents.... but I also believe if parents are open in discussing sex with their children (by sex I mean all aspects, protection/safety/stds, etc) it would cut down on the teenage pregnancies.
post #11 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snake_Lady View Post
It is things like this that make me glad I have a great relationship with my daughters. Kendra will be 13 this July. I was having sex at 14. She won't be. That statement may arise some questions from others, as in how do I know she won't. I know my daughter, we have had many healthy discussions on sex and we are very open and honest with each other.

My mom never talked to me about sex....it was a taboo conversation. I learned about sex from abuse at the age of 7. My daughter learned about sex from me.

I can't help but wonder if these parents, both of the girl and boys, ever talked to them about sex. I also can't help but think that this type of situation may have been prevented if there had been healthy discussions about sex.

Proudmami said:


I agree to a certain extent that it is not always because of the parents.... but I also believe if parents are open in discussing sex with their children (by sex I mean all aspects, protection/safety/stds, etc) it would cut down on the teenage pregnancies.
Good points Chris. We were very open with our daughter. When she was about 10 or 11 she called someone a lesbian. I asked her if she knew what that meant and she gave me some strange story that her friend had told her. I told her the truth and also said that if she had any questions she could come to me or her dad and that her friends at the age of 10 or 11 probably didn't know a lot about sex, lesbians, etc. so she should come to us to get the proper information.

I know exactly when she lost her virginity - she came to me and talked to me about it before it happened and asked me what I thought about it. I told her having sex was about more than just having sex - it took emotional responsibility and responsibility to use protection against pregnancy as well as social diseases as well as physical ability and that if she was sure she loved this fellow and planned to marry him that I thought it was then up to them.
post #12 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snake_Lady View Post
It is things like this that make me glad I have a great relationship with my daughters. Kendra will be 13 this July. I was having sex at 14. She won't be. That statement may arise some questions from others, as in how do I know she won't. I know my daughter, we have had many healthy discussions on sex and we are very open and honest with each other.

My mom never talked to me about sex....it was a taboo conversation. I learned about sex from abuse at the age of 7. My daughter learned about sex from me.

I can't help but wonder if these parents, both of the girl and boys, ever talked to them about sex. I also can't help but think that this type of situation may have been prevented if there had been healthy discussions about sex.

Proudmami said:


I agree to a certain extent that it is not always because of the parents.... but I also believe if parents are open in discussing sex with their children (by sex I mean all aspects, protection/safety/stds, etc) it would cut down on the teenage pregnancies.
Oh I agree whole heartedly that parents need to be more open about sex AND the consequenses!kids are doing it earlier and earlier these days.My 10 year old daughter told me her friend (also 10) was having sex!!!I could not believe this!My daughter is still playing with dolls.Had my mom been more open about sex I woulod have been more knowledgable but doesn't mean I still wouldn't have had sex.I have 6 siblings I knew you could get pregnant if you had sex (my Mom was prudish she didn't talk about these things with me)but you learn it from friends,school,tv (which is why I control atleast what I am able to with my kids)I cannot be there all the time ad I just hope what I have taught them and the morals I have given them will prevent them from making bad decisions.
post #13 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by proudmamiof4 View Post
.Had my mom been more open about sex I woulod have been more knowledgable but doesn't mean I still wouldn't have had sex.
That is true, but at the very least, you would have had the knowledge about protection and the like, so you could be informed when you do have sex.

If my daughter decides she wants to have sex at whatever age, she knows about pregnancy, and protection, and there will be a box of condoms in the bathroom so she doesn't have to come and directly ask me. (again, some people won't agree with me making condoms available to her..but that's my choice. I would rather her have the protection available, than not) She also knows that if she were to get pregnant, I will NOT be raising her child.... which is something I've seen alot of.... Parents raising their grandchildren from an irresponsible choice of a 12, 13, 14yr old.

I've seen/overheard kids saying that if they get pregnant, their mom will look after the baby so they can go party......ummmmm WTH??????

But in all actuality, the story at hand..... Honestly, I don't think it should have been published.... really. What business of anyones, is how many kids are sleeping with this girl, and who's the daddy, etc. If papers published everytime a young kid got pregnant, we'd be reading nothing else as there are alot of teen moms out there, and they are getting younger and younger.

another thing that gets me, is shocked people about 14yr olds having sex. Personally, at 14 I was more mature than most 25yr olds, as I didn't really have a childhood. Who are we to say anything, we don't know how mature the 15yr old girl in question is..(the 12yr old boy obviously has some maturing to do tho)....
post #14 of 26
Wow you guys are some great parents when it comes to sex ed. I remember when I was around 10 my mom came up to me and started telling me something like: and the penis is inserted into the vagina lol...like a serious lecture or something you would read describing sex. Everything I've learned about sex has been through friends...And me and my parents still NEVER talk about sex. My mom found out that I was having sex when I was 18, a few months after I lost my virginity because she accidentally saw my text messages with my friend about birth control pills. She just told me she thinks i shouldn't have sex until I am financially responsible to take care of a child, in case something screws up and birth control fails, and has never brought it up since then. She always assumed I would know these things and it's better left unsaid...Honestly though I feel like this stuff is personal, as in only between me and my boyfriend no one else can be included in these conversations about sex. I feel like my mom feels that way too so that's why she doesn't ever want to talk about it. It seems unnatural to talk about sex with anyone but your sex partner...Maybe at 14 it's different. But i get this weird feeling just thinking about talking to a 14 year old about sex...I think it would be extremely uncomfortable.
post #15 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by ut0pia View Post
Wow you guys are some great parents when it comes to sex ed. I remember when I was around 10 my mom came up to me and started telling me something like: and the penis is inserted into the vagina lol...like a serious lecture or something you would read describing sex. Everything I've learned about sex has been through friends...And me and my parents still NEVER talk about sex. My mom found out that I was having sex when I was 18, a few months after I lost my virginity because she accidentally saw my text messages with my friend about birth control pills. She just told me she thinks i shouldn't have sex until I am financially responsible to take care of a child, in case something screws up and birth control fails, and has never brought it up since then. She always assumed I would know these things and it's better left unsaid...Honestly though I feel like this stuff is personal, as in only between me and my boyfriend no one else can be included in these conversations about sex. I feel like my mom feels that way too so that's why she doesn't ever want to talk about it. It seems unnatural to talk about sex with anyone but your sex partner...Maybe at 14 it's different. But i get this weird feeling just thinking about talking to a 14 year old about sex...I think it would be extremely uncomfortable.
Unfortunately what you say is all too true. Many parents are uncomfortable talking to their kids about sex and that discomfort rubs off on the kids so that's probably why you aren't comfortable talking about sex as well. I know it's off-topic but that's exactly why we need decent sex education in schools to make up for the parents that are too embarrassed to talk to their children. I remember when my best friend started her period. She was scared to death. I was a year younger than her but my mom had talked to me so I knew what was happening. I took her to my mom and my mom explained what what going on. Her mother wouldn't talk to her.

Our daughter is 28 and has been comfortable talking to both her dad and I about anything, sexual or not for which we're very happy.
post #16 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snake_Lady View Post
That is true, but at the very least, you would have had the knowledge about protection and the like, so you could be informed when you do have sex.

If my daughter decides she wants to have sex at whatever age, she knows about pregnancy, and protection, and there will be a box of condoms in the bathroom so she doesn't have to come and directly ask me. (again, some people won't agree with me making condoms available to her..but that's my choice. I would rather her have the protection available, than not) She also knows that if she were to get pregnant, I will NOT be raising her child.... which is something I've seen alot of.... Parents raising their grandchildren from an irresponsible choice of a 12, 13, 14yr old.

I've seen/overheard kids saying that if they get pregnant, their mom will look after the baby so they can go party......ummmmm WTH??????

But in all actuality, the story at hand..... Honestly, I don't think it should have been published.... really. What business of anyones, is how many kids are sleeping with this girl, and who's the daddy, etc. If papers published everytime a young kid got pregnant, we'd be reading nothing else as there are alot of teen moms out there, and they are getting younger and younger.

another thing that gets me, is shocked people about 14yr olds having sex. Personally, at 14 I was more mature than most 25yr olds, as I didn't really have a childhood. Who are we to say anything, we don't know how mature the 15yr old girl in question is..(the 12yr old boy obviously has some maturing to do tho)....
I don't know how to do the multi quote thing!lol
anyway I agree that her getting pregnant should NOT have made headlines!like she is the ONLY teenager to ever get knocked up!

Also I too have let my kids know that if they do get pregnant ()knowing full well the consequenses of having sex) that I am NOT going to raise it.And whatever decisiopn they make as far as having it will be something they have to live with the REST of thier lives.My Mom NEVER took on my responsibilities!!I had to take care of him!
post #17 of 26
I dunno, at 15 is more acceptable but 14 and 13 is shocking to me. In my high school of about 1000 kids, there was only 1 pregnant freshman and she was a sensation, everyone talked about her.
I honestly believe that if I had gotten pregnant under my parents care as a teenager, they would say: you either have an abortion, adopt the kid out or you move out and receive absolutely no support from us.
In fact, they probably wouldn't even support me to have the child and give it up, because that would embarass them, to have a pregnant daughter...
Most of you will probably think this is wayy harsh. But they're of a different culture, which is pretty much completely okay with abortion there are no debates on whether its right or wrong whatsoever.
post #18 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by ut0pia View Post
I dunno, at 15 is more acceptable but 14 and 13 is shocking to me. In my high school of about 1000 kids, there was only 1 pregnant freshman and she was a sensation, everyone talked about her.
I honestly believe that if I had gotten pregnant under my parents care as a teenager, they would say: you either have an abortion, adopt the kid out or you move out and receive absolutely no support from us.
In fact, they probably wouldn't even support me to have the child and give it up, because that would embarass them, to have a pregnant daughter...
Most of you will probably think this is wayy harsh. But they're of a different culture, which is pretty much completely okay with abortion there are no debates on whether its right or wrong whatsoever.
And that's a shame that parents would disown/force to have an abortion/force to give up a child because they would be embarrassed. What about the daughter? How would that affect her psyche the rest of her life? IMHO that would be much more harsh than a spank on the butt. I guess we all feel differently about what is considered harsh treatment and what isn't. I believe in spanking but I could never turn my daughter away or not help her if she made a mistake in her life. I don't think any teen deliberately gets pregnant and so I would consider it a mistake - huge mistake but nonetheless a mistake. Our personal embarrassment would definitely take second place to helping her in whatever way we could, whether that be abortion or adoption.
post #19 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
And that's a shame that parents would disown/force to have an abortion/force to give up a child because they would be embarrassed. What about the daughter? How would that affect her psyche the rest of her life? IMHO that would be much more harsh than a spank on the butt. I guess we all feel differently about what is considered harsh treatment and what isn't. I believe in spanking but I could never turn my daughter away or not help her if she made a mistake in her life. I don't think any teen deliberately gets pregnant and so I would consider it a mistake - huge mistake but nonetheless a mistake. Our personal embarrassment would definitely take second place to helping her in whatever way we could, whether that be abortion or adoption.
I agree with you 100% I do let my children know that also,even if I don't approve I would never ever turn them away.I made a life long commintment to my children when I chose to bring them into the world!So I will support them no matter what...right or wrong.
post #20 of 26
Yea it's true. I just have parents who do not accept any mistakes whatsoever. They're just far from laid back...My goal in life is now to be laid back and to step away from their mentality and the way they have taught me to be And it's working so far. But they would never understand psychological damage that could happen by giving up your child or having an abortion. To them that's nothing. My mom had an abortion right after I was born just because it was unplanned and she didn't want any more children. The only thing they would be unhappy about would be the risk I'd be subjecting myself by having an abortion- there is a small risk of complications...
ETA
btw they were born and raised in Eastern Europe: abortion rate there is extremely high and there are literally 0 teenage pregnancies b/c they all have abortions. I actually remember in health education class seeing the abortion rates of different regions, the US is extremely low compared to Eastern Europe...i don't remember the actual numbers. But it was first highest, second was Japan..At the time when my mom had an abortion, abortion clinics were subsidized by the government so that anyone below 18 can get one for free and anyone who already has a child can get one for free...
post #21 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by ut0pia View Post
Yea it's true. I just have parents who do not accept any mistakes whatsoever. They're just far from laid back...My goal in life is now to be laid back and to step away from their mentality and the way they have taught me to be And it's working so far. But they would never understand psychological damage that could happen by giving up your child or having an abortion. To them that's nothing. My mom had an abortion right after I was born just because it was unplanned and she didn't want any more children. The only thing they would be unhappy about would be the risk I'd be subjecting myself by having an abortion- there is a small risk of complications...
I think it is great you want to be different.Children need to know that it is human nature to make mistakes and that they will still be loved.
post #22 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
I don't think any teen deliberately gets pregnant and so I would consider it a mistake - huge mistake but nonetheless a mistake.
I think you'll be surprised to learn that there are teens who deliberately get pregnant, in some cases to "bind" the child's father to them, and in many cases because they're looking for unconditional love.

Many school districts in Germany, Britain and the U.S. now have (volunteer) 14 and 15-year-olds taking care of very lifelike dolls, programmed to cry, spit up, etc., at the most inopportune times, for days on end so that they realize what a responsibility a baby would be.
"Baby" Helps Teens Think It Over!


Dolls cry out against teen mums
post #23 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcat View Post

Many school districts in Germany, Britain and the U.S. now have (volunteer) 14 and 15-year-olds taking care of very lifelike dolls, programmed to cry, spit up, etc., at the most inopportune times, for days on end so that they realize what a responsibility a baby would be.
"Baby" Helps Teens Think It Over!


Dolls cry out against teen mums
We had those in our school!
post #24 of 26
Oh i missed that!!.

Thank goodness for that, but the pair of them including the other boys she slept with need some serious educating, and she needs birth control before baby number 2 comes along!!
post #25 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcat View Post
I think you'll be surprised to learn that there are teens who deliberately get pregnant, in some cases to "bind" the child's father to them, and in many cases because they're looking for unconditional love.

Many school districts in Germany, Britain and the U.S. now have (volunteer) 14 and 15-year-olds taking care of very lifelike dolls, programmed to cry, spit up, etc., at the most inopportune times, for days on end so that they realize what a responsibility a baby would be.
"Baby" Helps Teens Think It Over!


Dolls cry out against teen mums

That's really a sad state of affairs isn't it!
post #26 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
Or you were in a bible belt area or some such thing.
Sometimes I think its worse down here When I lived in NJ, there were 1 or 2 girls in my HS who were pregnant senior year. I moved to NC and there were about 8 pregnant 13/14 year old freshmen!!! (Plus 10, 11, and 12th graders with babies already or pregnant).

When I was 9 or 10 my mom somewhat told me about sex. We learned about it in school probably in 7th grade. My first time was when I was 16, and that was the only time until I was 18 and with Rob. I had enough common sense to not be stupid about it, because I certainly knew I did not want a kid. The guy when I was 16 had pressured me to let him in without a condom, and I said no, very adamantly, as I was not on any other form of birth control (and wasn't until 2 years with Rob. He was VERY happy when I got on the pill )

It's disturbing to see how many young girls go out and sleep around. I was watching Maury and a 15 year old was trying to find her baby's father. Her boyfriend wasn't it. She said she had a list of others that could be. Really!?

It's kind of sad the kid in the UK isn't the dad, but at the same time he's 13, has a lot of growing up to do, and should take this all as a lesson.
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