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Moving in with a girl from work - good idea?

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
Hey everyone,
As some of you know, I moved out of my marital home 2 months ago.
A lady who I know from work is going through the same thing, she is seperating from her husband.
She also has 2 cats.
We both need a place to live, and living alone, though preferable, is unbelievably expensive.
So, we're considering renting a place together.
What do I need to consder before agreeing to rent a place with her?
And how the heck can we introduce our two cats to each other - and we'd be living in a two bed house with four cats. I know lots of people on here have multi cat households, so I'll post in the care forum about that.
Any advice would be appreciated!
post #2 of 12
Jessy that's something in couldn't do to be honest, unless it was a temporary measure?.

I think to start with, do a search in the behaviour forum with regards to the cats, because there may be some tension with them
post #3 of 12
I think to be on the safe side, I'd try to find out if there's some kind of legal document you can both sign (aside from a lease) stating that you are both equally responsible for the bills and rent. THEN, split everything 50/50. And keep receipts and all your cleared checks and everything like that. Write things down. Because if you don't, if it comes time to go to court (it happens so often, but is such a shame, but is a fact of life) you'll want proof of what you paid for and what she did or didn't pay for.
post #4 of 12
A few years ago I moved into a large house with two other female co-workers. One girl moved out in a year and I moved out after two years. By the second year I was very unhappy and realized I made a mistake, there were no cats for any of us at that time.

I was so sure we would all get along but in time things began falling apart, I will never live with another woman again but of course every situation is different. I wish you the best and for your kitty's too.
post #5 of 12
I wish I could give you advice - but everyone is different and how this works out will mostly depend on individual personalities, habits, and how responsible you both are. Who knows, maybe you're both mature adults that won't have any serious issues with this?

As for the cats, there are several threads over it and some things that may help (feliway, rescue remedy). You can also ask for help on here if there are any issues along the way.

I hope that the two of you are/become and stay good friends through this. With what you're both going through you could probably both use some support and understanding.
post #6 of 12
With respect with living together, it will be tough going from living with your partner to living with a friend.

You need to make an agreement from the start about who will do what cleaning duties ie. one person does the main house chores for 2 weeks, the other the next 2 weeks, and you look after your own washing, clean your own dishes etc., keep your own food separate etc., and each pay half of the electricity, rent, gas and so on.

It's probably easier if you both have cell phones so you don't need to worry about splitting phone bills.

Make some sort of agreement that if one of you does something that really irks the other you mention it straight away (our old housemate would leave dirty dish water in the sink overnight for some reason, and we'd be first up and had to plunge our hand in to pull the plug - ewwww).

The main thing is to be prepared to give and take a lot more, and remember that this person has her own way of doing things that may be different.

As for the cats, just take things very slowly - keep your cats in your room for a few days, and let her cats run around, then swap around - her cats in her room, your cats get the run of the house. Swap every few days so they get used to each others smells, leave Feliway diffusers running, have them use the same litter and eating the same food so they smell similar to each other, then slowly introduce them.

Good luck!
post #7 of 12
you will be seeing a lot of this person, at home, at work. Pretty much constantly! keep that in mind. sure you have tho
post #8 of 12
My roommate and I have been friends for 9 years and we moved in together 2 years ago. We also work together. Its worked out great for us because we take turns driving so it also helps on gas! But we are also younger and both are not home as much (most every weekend I'm gone) and we hang out other places a lot too.
Granted right now our house is a wreck because of the fact we have barely been home but eh we dont worry about it.

And I had 2 cats when she moved in with her 1 and we kept them separated when we were gone but they just kinda got a long to begin with. And now Kahlua (mine) and Keiko (hers) adore each other and spend evenings bathing each other. Google (hers) arrived later... Kahlua and Keiko both do not approve of him. Joey (mine) puts up with him! LOL!
post #9 of 12
Ever seen the movie "Odd Couple?"
post #10 of 12
If you can find someone who is just as respectful as you are, then it can work.

However, with both of you being just newly separated, be prepared for the fact that one or both of you may reconcile with your spouses. Have you discussed what will happen in that event?
post #11 of 12
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone.
Where I work there are 1,400 people on site, it's huge, like a university campus, and she works right over the other side, so I wouldn't see her during the day.
Of course I'd prefer to live alone, I just couldn't afford it unfortunately.
I just don't think the cats will cope well :-(
Aside from that, as we are both going through the same thing we have been a huge support to each other.
post #12 of 12
It has been quite awhile since I had a female roommate. The thing that I remember being a problem was when the two of us had different standards on housekeeping. I know it sounds petty but I think generally speaking that means more to women than to men. I don't think women in an Odd Couple situation could make it work.
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