Very Rude Author

Originally Posted by Going Nova

My home is my private space. I would find it unnerving if a stranger called my home and tried to have a conversation with me.

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Ok, I see that part that I was wrong to phone her but how is that different than posting on message boards and talking to strangers about our pets? I also belong to a TV board where we talk about our shows and I belong to a politics board and talk about current events and politics. Then on the IMDB board, we talk about shows, movies, and the cast members. I don't know these people either. Does that make it creepy that we are talking to strangers about these subjects?

Originally Posted by tweetykiss

Ok, I see that part that I was wrong to phone her but how is that different than posting on message boards and talking to strangers about our pets? I also belong to a TV board where we talk about our shows and I belong to a politics board and talk about current events and politics. Then on the IMDB board, we talk about shows, movies, and the cast members. I don't know these people either. Does that make it creepy that we are talking to strangers about these subjects?

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Because all of those communities are linked by a common love. If you hate talking about politics you arent going to go join a politics board. Just like if you do not want to hear about other peoples cats you arent going to join thecatsite. An online community is something that YOU volunteer to join to hear about other peoples views on the same subject. Unless someone searched for that topic chances are they would not find those forums. So by calling her and just striking up that conversation I'm sure she didnt know what to think because she was kind of bombarded by this information about your cat when she did not go seeking it. If she would have called you or if she would have mentioned her pets or something it would be different. And I agree she could have gotten off the phone more diplomatically but as someone else said, you dont know what was going on in her house at that time. She may have been having some issues and just felt very annoyed that someone would just call her up that she has never spoken to.

Originally Posted by tweetykiss

Ok, I see that part that I was wrong to phone her but how is that different than posting on message boards and talking to strangers about our pets? I also belong to a TV board where we talk about our shows and I belong to a politics board and talk about current events and politics. Then on the IMDB board, we talk about shows, movies, and the cast members. I don't know these people either. Does that make it creepy that we are talking to strangers about these subjects?

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Posting a message on a board like this is very, very different from telephoning a person's home. Phoning a person at home is an invasion of privacy. Most people are very touchy about their privacy.

Over the years I've come to "know" a lot of people on this site but there are some that I would definitely not want phoning me at my home. I'm very happy to type posts in reply to their threads/posts, but I don't want a social relationship with them just as I'm certain there are folks here who do not want a relationship with me other than what we have here already.

As for you and Avalon, we are always excited to see photos of other people's kitties and hear from their owners what their kitties are like, what they do that's cute and funny and, well just about anything you want to tell us about you and your kitty.

All I really was trying to say was that one doesn't usually telephone someone they don't know personally and chat them up.

I do see the point of someone you don't know personally and to be honest, when my husband made the initial phone call about chiropractic services, he thought it was their office. Now whether they work out of their home, we don't know. I don't think it was their cell phone we called since back then people were not using cell phones as much as they do now. The chiropractor my husband was referred to does not even these people. They just know the name and they did not even know that the wife is a therapist/author. Well enough on this part.

Now please don't take this wrong but I am now very wary of posting anything about my cat and my canary as well (this is not a bird forum anyway and now I don't even want to join a bird forum). My cat does many cutsey things and I even have a YouTube on her but I don't know if I should even post the link to my YouTube or the cutesy things my cat does. I am only saying this since many may not want to see the video or read the cutesy stuff my cat does.

I cannot give anyone cat advice anyway since this is my first cat. My parents never allowed me to have pets growing up and then when I left home, I was stuck in apartments where no pets were allowed. If I need cat advice, I guess reading books on it will just as do.

Originally Posted by tweetykiss

I do see the point of someone you don't know personally and to be honest, when my husband made the initial phone call about chiropractic services, he thought it was their office. Now whether they work out of their home, we don't know. I don't think it was their cell phone we called since back then people were not using cell phones as much as they do now. The chiropractor my husband was referred to does not even these people. They just know the name and they did not even know that the wife is a therapist/author. Well enough on this part.

Now please don't take this wrong but I am now very wary of posting anything about my cat and my canary as well (this is not a bird forum anyway and now I don't even want to join a bird forum). My cat does many cutsey things and I even have a YouTube on her but I don't know if I should even post the link to my YouTube or the cutesy things my cat does. I am only saying this since many may not want to see the video or read the cutesy stuff my cat does.

I cannot give anyone cat advice anyway since this is my first cat. My parents never allowed me to have pets growing up and then when I left home, I was stuck in apartments where no pets were allowed. If I need cat advice, I guess reading books on it will just as do.

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I'm sorry you feel that way, but that is a decision only you can make and you have to do what you feel comfortable with.

Originally Posted by tweetykiss

I do see the point of someone you don't know personally and to be honest, when my husband made the initial phone call about chiropractic services, he thought it was their office. Now whether they work out of their home, we don't know. I don't think it was their cell phone we called since back then people were not using cell phones as much as they do now. The chiropractor my husband was referred to does not even these people. They just know the name and they did not even know that the wife is a therapist/author. Well enough on this part.

Now please don't take this wrong but I am now very wary of posting anything about my cat and my canary as well (this is not a bird forum anyway and now I don't even want to join a bird forum). My cat does many cutsey things and I even have a YouTube on her but I don't know if I should even post the link to my YouTube or the cutesy things my cat does. I am only saying this since many may not want to see the video or read the cutesy stuff my cat does.

I cannot give anyone cat advice anyway since this is my first cat. My parents never allowed me to have pets growing up and then when I left home, I was stuck in apartments where no pets were allowed. If I need cat advice, I guess reading books on it will just as do.

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Okay...I'll play the Advocate here.

tweetykiss, it seems like you're running off pretty quickly when we've only tried to answer the question about calling a personal phone number that you asked. Not, at any time, did we express that we, (as a forum), didn't want to get to know about you and your pets, because we do.


I feel you're over-reacting and you need to just calm down and take a breather. That rude author needs to learn how to relate to people, or at least not to be nasty on the phone. However, it doesn't sound like she cared to talk to you about anything, and so you probably should stay away from her because something's wrong with her attitude.

However, we here at the forum are trying to answer any questions you have, make you feel welcome, and treat you as a friend. We are not going to beg you to see your cat or post links or talk to us, that's just not how it works here. But, you're more than invited to share, and I'm sure you'll make friends here if you take part in discussions.

Best of luck to you, and hope to hear more about Avalon.

Ok Yosemite, how should I interpret what you just said? I am not trying to flame nor anything and I am trying to be civil about all this. In fact, I do appreciate all the honesty and frankness all of you have given me. That is exactly how business should be done.

Now back to what you just said, are you telling me not to put my YouTube link and no longer post cutesy things about what Avalon does?

Amanda, I hope I didn't sound like I was ignoring your post. I just reread this whole thread. Like I said in my last posting, I don't know if it is their office number or home number. We got it from the Yellow Pages under therapists. But I forgot that they can work out of their homes.

Also I never wrote to anyone's agent and never plan to. I never wrote anyone period and as far as phoning, this was the only party we phoned very few times. Now if writers are afraid of stalkers, don't do book signings is my opinion. Her husband did invite us to her book signing a few years back but we didn't go.

Then the thing on message boards and blogs; one is always giving out their info if you catch what I am saying.

I posted something about our first home health aide service since my husband has medical issues and I see no one ever answered that so my interpretation is that no one wanted to read it. So now I guess I should not post about Avalon.

Originally Posted by plainjane

Okay...I'll play the Advocate here.

tweetykiss, it seems like you're running off pretty quickly when we've only tried to answer the question about calling a personal personal number that you asked. Not, at any time, did we express that we, (as a forum), didn't want to get to know about you and your pets, because we do.


I feel you're over-reacting and you need to just calm down and take a breather. That rude author needs to learn how to relate to people, or at least not to be nasty on the phone. However, it doesn't sound like she cared to talk to you about anything, and so you probably should stay away from her because something's wrong with her attitude.

However, we here at the forum are trying to answer any questions you have, make you feel welcome, and treat you as a friend. We are not going to beg you to see your cat or post links or talk to us, that's just not how it works here. But, you're more than invited to share, and I'm sure you'll make friends here if you take part in discussions.

Best of luck to you, and hope to hear more about Avalon.

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Ok, You and I posted this at the same time since I only saw this when I posted my last message. Thanks for telling me how this forum works. I keep learning at different forums how different the rules are and how things are done. Maybe I need a break for a while. Thanks for stating that this author does not know how to relate to people. So, she should not do book signings.

Originally Posted by tweetykiss

Ok, You and I posted this at the same time since I only saw this when I posted my last message. Thanks for telling me how this forum works. I keep learning at different forums how different the rules are and how things are done. Maybe I need a break for a while. Thanks for stating that this author does not know how to relate to people. So, she should not do book signings.

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Like Yosemite said, it's all your choice. None of us are trying to attack you, just to help answer honestly.

I hope you'll eventually feel comfortable taking part in other conversations and telling us more about your pets in the future.

Originally Posted by plainjane

Like Yosemite said, it's all your choice. None of us are trying to attack you, just to help answer honestly.

I hope you'll eventually feel comfortable taking part in other conversations and telling us more about your pets in the future.

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I know none of you are trying to attack me. Like I stated, I appreciate honestly and frankness.

What I now want to know is when I talked about my first home health aide for my husband, why didn't anyone answer?

Originally Posted by tweetykiss

What I now want to know is when I talked about my first home health aide for my husband, why didn't anyone answer?

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Where is that thread? I don't see any thread that you started without a reply? I've started plenty of threads that don't get a reply. I think it has happened to all of us. I generally tell myself that it must not have been an interesting thread and move on. This is also a busy forum and some of the threads move quickly. It's possible it got pushed off the board before many people read it. I read lots of threads, but if I feel I can't contribute to the conversation, I don't post. I think many others do the same.

I think plainjane summed up pretty well how this forum works.

As far as the author, it was a bit rude of her.

I personally don't share cat stories with people unless I know that they are into cats. Many of my friends are more dog people than cat people and I just keep my Abby stories to myself. I tend to share them here when I have one.

Ok Yosemite, how should I interpret what you just said? I am not trying to flame nor anything and I am trying to be civil about all this. In fact, I do appreciate all the honesty and frankness all of you have given me. That is exactly how business should be done.

Now back to what you just said, are you telling me not to put my YouTube link and no longer post cutesy things about what Avalon does?

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Pretty much either post stuff about your cat, or don't. No one is going to tell you whether to stay or go, to post or not post. That is your decision. You keep over dramatizing everything that is being said to you. You went from asking what people thought of the rude author to whether or not you should post on this forum about your cat. How the two are related, I have no idea. Plainjane summed it all up really well.

I think it was rude of the woman to say it in the way that she did. She could have just said "I really have no interest in hearing about your cat, glad you read my books and thanks for the call!" but I can see that it might be weird to just have someone randomly talking out of the blue to you about their cat. She probably figured she handled it the best she could.

What I now want to know is when I talked about my first home health aide for my husband, why didn't anyone answer?

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Maybe no one knew how to answer. We're all from different parts of the world you know. This is a busy forum, maybe it got over looked. What does it have to do with this posting?

Originally Posted by tweetykiss

Ok Yosemite, how should I interpret what you just said? I am not trying to flame nor anything and I am trying to be civil about all this. In fact, I do appreciate all the honesty and frankness all of you have given me. That is exactly how business should be done.

Now back to what you just said, are you telling me not to put my YouTube link and no longer post cutesy things about what Avalon does?

Amanda, I hope I didn't sound like I was ignoring your post. I just reread this whole thread. Like I said in my last posting, I don't know if it is their office number or home number. We got it from the Yellow Pages under therapists. But I forgot that they can work out of their homes.

Also I never wrote to anyone's agent and never plan to. I never wrote anyone period and as far as phoning, this was the only party we phoned very few times. Now if writers are afraid of stalkers, don't do book signings is my opinion. Her husband did invite us to her book signing a few years back but we didn't go.

Then the thing on message boards and blogs; one is always giving out their info if you catch what I am saying.

I posted something about our first home health aide service since my husband has medical issues and I see no one ever answered that so my interpretation is that no one wanted to read it. So now I guess I should not post about Avalon.

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I'm really at a loss here. I'm not sure how you are interpreting posts. Nowhere did anyone say anything about YouTube nor did I say not to post about Avalon - in fact I pretty much said the opposite about posting and pictures of Avalon. I couldn't see where anyone mentioned you writing to anyone's agent either. I also don't understand your comment about book signings. Authors have book signings - they say hello and sign the book and you move on. They don't generally hold long personal conversations with folks whose book they are signing so I'm very confused on why you brought that up as well.

I think most of us are just confused why you would just phone an author (by looking up their number in the yellow pages no less) to talk to them about your cat and most of us are not surprised she did not react in a particularly pleasant manner. We do all agree she probably could have handled it better but I have to honestly say that if you reacted to her as you have reacted here in this thread to our answers to you, I do understand why she was rude. You have taken much offense here where none was ever meant, and interpreted benign comments into something totally different than what was said, so I am just very confused.

Originally Posted by tweetykiss

I know none of you are trying to attack me. Like I stated, I appreciate honestly and frankness.

What I now want to know is when I talked about my first home health aide for my husband, why didn't anyone answer?

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It is probably because no one knows you, thus dont know what to say/dont know how much to care, or yes - actually dont care (and hey - people are allowed to not have a great deal of care for strangers). I have been on this board for years, and when one of my cats almost died last fall and I asked for help, I got VERY few responses. I dont take it personally, because I have not spent a lot of time on here building relationships. It is very easy to see that if you manage to join the main circle, by being interested and friendly in response to THEIR posts, that the friendship will be returned to you.

Honestly I would think it's a rude thing to say that "if she wants to see a cat she will go to the humane society" no matter what the situation...It kinda shows how much she really cares about cats in general..
I also wouldn't call up a stranger and start chatting about my cats though, author or therapist occupation makes no difference.

Abby's Mom, I agree with you about not sharing cat stories unless they love cats. Most people I know love dogs and hate cats. My MIL taught all her kids that the cat sees the devil and that family always had nothing but dobies. I am very terrified of dobies. They are killer dogs. I am afraid of dogs except for toys and teacups. Only two of her kids have cats, our's and the brother who gave us this kitten. But that brother told me last night that he hates cats. He only deals with them since his girlfriend is a cat lover.

Ok, the answer about where is that thread about the home help. I never started that thread. I am sorry to say that I hijacked it. It was a thread started by someone else here who uses home help and I put in my opinion on it and then told my story and that is when that thread ended.

Yosemite, The answers to your questions about writing to agent and book signings is when I had replied to someone who is on page one of this thread. She mentioned if I want to contact a writer, I should write the agent. Now the You Tube and pics about Avalon, I somehow got the impression that no one here was interested. Just like I wasted that writer's time, I don't want to waste the time of anyone here.

Utopia, I do regret making contact with that writer. Yes, she gave me the impression that she honestly does not like cats which made it contradictory to her novels since her main character owns a cat and then across the street from the main character; her neighbor takes care of the ferals.

Thanks everyone for the honesty and I know that no one here attacked me. I hope I don't sound like I attacked anyone and if I did, I apologize. I think business should be done in a frank and honest manner.

Originally Posted by tweetykiss

Abby's Mom, I agree with you about not sharing cat stories unless they love cats. Most people I know love dogs and hate cats. My MIL taught all her kids that the cat sees the devil and that family always had nothing but dobies. I am very terrified of dobies. They are killer dogs. I am afraid of dogs except for toys and teacups. Only two of her kids have cats, our's and the brother who gave us this kitten. But that brother told me last night that he hates cats. He only deals with them since his girlfriend is a cat lover.

Thanks everyone for the honesty and I know that no one here attacked me. I hope I don't sound like I attacked anyone and if I did, I apologize. I think business should be done in a frank and honest manner.

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Glad you are not mad. But please do not sum all dogs of a breeds up by saying they are killer dogs. Dobies are an extremely sweet breed, its the owners that make them so angry.

And please feel free to share pics and stories and videos about avalon. A cat forum would be very boring if no one shared anything about their cats!

Originally Posted by capt_jordi

Glad you are not mad. But please do not sum all dogs of a breeds up by saying they are killer dogs. Dobies are an extremely sweet breed, its the owners that make them so angry.

And please feel free to share pics and stories and videos about avalon. A cat forum would be very boring if no one shared anything about their cats!

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Sorry, I hope I did not insult you. Have you had dobies? No, I am not mad at anyone and never was. I am not even mad at the writer but I was very hurt by her.

When my husband was growing up they always had two dobies and pure bred. The parents paid a huge amount of money for them and breeded them and sold them. Now they just have a girl dobie. I have not heard her bark at any time we have been there but when I am in the same room with her, I have to ask someone to be there and watch me. My husband wanted a miniature pincher but I said no.

Originally Posted by tweetykiss

When my husband was growing up they always had two dobies and pure bred. The parents paid a huge amount of money for them and breeded them and sold them. Now they just have a girl dobie. I have not heard her bark at any time we have been there but when I am in the same room with her, I have to ask someone to be there and watch me. My husband wanted a miniature pincher but I said no.

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There's nothing wrong with being afraid of a big dog, or a certain breed. If you're not used to them, then sometimes the imagination takes over, especially when you are looking at BIG jaws!

We have a lab, a lab/shepard mix and a Samoyed (picture a big white huskie on steriods!), but there are still some breeds I'm not comfortable around. Our friends always come down and stay with us over Thanksgiving or Christmas and brring their Rottie. I'm still not completely comfortable with that dog, and he is the biggest teddy bear there is...honestly! I just can't get past the size of his mouth! This dog could easily put the top of my head in his mouth and still have room to drool! I don't even want to think about my hands. It's a weird thing with me, and I love him to death because he is an absolute sweetie, but I just DON'T feel comfortable around him all the time. So, you aren't alone.

Well, I think after all these messages you can agree that nobody is ignoring your questions I'd say with your HHA question, that since it was at the end of someone else's thread, that nobody else saw it who knew how to answer

And with regard to your first question - I'd be weirded out if someone I didn't know called me at home telling me about their cat too If you did it on The Cat Site, I'd read all about it, because I'm here actively looking for fun cat photos and stories. I guess that's the difference.

Either way, sorry the conversation with her ended rudely!