Very Rude Author

tweetykiss

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 15, 2009
Messages
142
Purraise
1
Location
Chicago
I will try to keep this short. Few years back, I found out about a local writer who is also a cat lover and she is a therapist and works with chiropractors as well. In her books, they talk about the protogonist being a counselor and she has a BF that is a not so popular gossip columnist. I think that is what he is since I have not read her books in a long time. You have to read her books in chronological order.

My husband called her back then to get a ref for a chiropractor and it worked out well. The chiropractor does not know this writer but it is more like a friend of friend thing.

I then called this writer yesterday for two reasons. Her husband answered and he is very nice and then he put her on the phone. I then thanked her for referring the chiropractor and then told her about Avalon. That is when she got very rude. She said, if I want to see a cat, I will go to the humane society. She also hung up on me. I just could not believe this.
 

ut0pia

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 25, 2008
Messages
5,120
Purraise
34
OMG!! I assume Avalon is your kitty? What did you say ?? That sounds really really rude...
 

rubsluts'mommy

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 1, 2005
Messages
2,211
Purraise
11
Location
On the west side of... of... somewhere.
I'll sort of play devil's advocate here.

First of all, how did you get the reference to the chiropractor? Are you good friends with the writer and/or her family members? You left that part out... how you got the info in the first place.

However, unless you're good friends with her or her family, I highly doubt she appreciated being called at home by 'a fan' of sorts. I know for myself that if I were a well known author (which i hope to be at some point) I sure wouldn't want my readers/fans calling me at home. That's an intrusion to my privacy. Also, she sounded like she was being gracious, until you got 'personal,' by starting to open up to her about Avalon, which i also assume is your cat. There's a line there that you really don't cross... you're a reader of her books... she most likely sees you as a fan... and fans shouldn't be calling a 'famous' persons' home... send a letter through her agent, if you wish... but calling the home, unless you are already on good personal terms with her or her family, is really crossing the line. I think she had a right to be mildly rude. She didn't scream any obscenities at you, I assume... that would be really out there... but she got a little snippy and then hung up on you...

Now, maybe (pulling Devil's Advocate hat off) you or your hubby know her hubby, or a sibling or someone close to her... is that how you got her phone number? Another detail you left out in your original post.

I know I sure as all heck wouldn't be calling Chuck Palanhiuk (who lives in the area, and whom I've met), or any other well known author... for any reasons... the only exception is that if we've invited them to OryCon and we haven't heard back... but I'm not involved in the inviting this year (thank God)... and that stays professional. We have their contact info for professional reasons ONLY. I have access, if I begged, to the numbers and addresses of lots of writers (I saw it last year), but I respect that line... the one fans shouldn't cross.

Okay... writing a small book-post again... I don't want to you be offended by what I'm saying... just try to see it from her point of view.

~A~
 

ut0pia

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 25, 2008
Messages
5,120
Purraise
34
If the author is also a therapist then she can't just dismiss people as 'fans' who are invading her privacy....
If she read her books and likes them, that doesn't mean she is calling to impose on her..
 

rockcat

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 6, 2002
Messages
6,665
Purraise
18
Location
The Spacecoast
I agree that it sounds rude, but RubSluts'Mommy is right. I need to know more before I can have an opinion.
 

clixpix

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Dec 9, 2004
Messages
14,540
Purraise
2
Originally Posted by ut0pia

If the author is also a therapist then she can't just dismiss people as 'fans' who are invading her privacy....
If she read her books and likes them, that doesn't mean she is calling to impose on her..
But I sort of see what Amanda's saying. Calling someone at home is different. If someone wants advice from a professional person, then unless you know them on a personal level, I would think it would be more proper to call their office.
 

rubsluts'mommy

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 1, 2005
Messages
2,211
Purraise
11
Location
On the west side of... of... somewhere.
Originally Posted by ut0pia

If the author is also a therapist then she can't just dismiss people as 'fans' who are invading her privacy....
If she read her books and likes them, that doesn't mean she is calling to impose on her..
But we don't know if she works out of the home, or has a separate office... for her therapy work, that is. What I put together is that it was fine until she mentioned her cat... the author's books, I assume, have a cat involved in them.. hence the 'author who is a cat lover' ... I personally have no clue if any of my past therapists have been cat lovers... they don't let on that kind of info in their sessions... so that tidbit of info would most likely have come from the writing... anyway... that makes me think that the OP is an admirer of the authors' writings... hence 'fan.' It's all well and good if I'm chatting with a friend or friend of a friend... but once someone mentions something related to my writing, if I were published, I'd end the conversation as well... maybe a little more politely... but I'd still end it. It's creepy, to me, that a fan of 'my' writing has my home phone number. If I want to talk to one of my favorite authors, I write to them via their agent... I don't hunt down their home phone number. Period. Since we don't have all of the details, I can't say if the author was freaked out or what...

If I had a business that required a phone number, but worked in my home, I'd have a separate number. Keep personal and business separate.

Amanda
 

ut0pia

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 25, 2008
Messages
5,120
Purraise
34
Originally Posted by RubSluts'Mommy

but once someone mentions something related to my writing, if I were published, I'd end the conversation as well... maybe a little more politely... but I'd still end it. It's creepy, to me, that a fan of 'my' writing has my home phone number.

If I had a business that required a phone number, but worked in my home, I'd have a separate number. Keep personal and business separate.

Amanda
That's interesting that you would end the conversation if a stranger mentions your writing. I mean, I would think it's totally normal to mention it to someone whom you know is a writer and you happen to be talking to him/her about something else besides their writing on a professional lever. But that's assuming the OP was calling a home/business number. I am inclined to think so judging from the post though...I understand you'd have a separate number, I'm sure I would too although my therapist even gave out her cell phone number to her patients...
 

mcfluffy

TCS Member
Young Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2009
Messages
46
Purraise
1
Location
Oklahoma City, OK
I'm a bit confused as to why she said, "If I want to see a cat, I'll go to the humane society." or whatever. Did you offer to bring your cat over for her to see or something?
 

ut0pia

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 25, 2008
Messages
5,120
Purraise
34
Originally Posted by mcfluffy

I'm a bit confused as to why she said, "If I want to see a cat, I'll go to the humane society." or whatever. Did you offer to bring your cat over for her to see or something?
lol sounds like she just got angry that was her way of saying "I don't care about your cat"
 

rubsluts'mommy

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 1, 2005
Messages
2,211
Purraise
11
Location
On the west side of... of... somewhere.
Originally Posted by ut0pia

That's interesting that you would end the conversation if a stranger mentions your writing. I mean, I would think it's totally normal to mention it to someone whom you know is a writer and you happen to be talking to him/her about something else besides their writing on a professional lever. But that's assuming the OP was calling a home/business number. I am inclined to think so judging from the post though...I understand you'd have a separate number, I'm sure I would too although my therapist even gave out her cell phone number to her patients...
How i see it, and maybe I'm not saying it clearly enough... is that if, for example, someone calls me out of the blue, thanks me for something I kinda had something to do with, but they can name names (the friend of a friend passed on the info or something), that's fine... you're welcome and all... but when they start talking to me about something related to my writing (something "I'm" well known for), and I don't know them personally, I'd wonder how the heck they got my home number and wonder about their sanity... maybe that's a little paranoid, but in this day and age with all sorts of folks out there, you don't know. When you're well known for something, you get fans... and some of those fans may not be mentally stable... by talking to them on the phone, you can't tell... but if they called my home number, I'd be freaked out... I don't know who they are, how they got my number, etc... once this author realized this caller may be a 'fan' she had to cut it short. Authors do signings, book events, etc... but they're prepared to deal with fans then... not when one possibly calls their home number... it's freaky.

Until the OP comes back and gives more details, if she wishes, I can't say if the author was really all that rude...

Amanda
 

yosemite

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Apr 26, 2001
Messages
23,313
Purraise
81
Location
Ingersoll, ON
Originally Posted by RubSluts'Mommy

How i see it, and maybe I'm not saying it clearly enough... is that if, for example, someone calls me out of the blue, thanks me for something I kinda had something to do with, but they can name names (the friend of a friend passed on the info or something), that's fine... you're welcome and all... but when they start talking to me about something related to my writing (something "I'm" well known for), and I don't know them personally, I'd wonder how the heck they got my home number and wonder about their sanity... maybe that's a little paranoid, but in this day and age with all sorts of folks out there, you don't know. When you're well known for something, you get fans... and some of those fans may not be mentally stable... by talking to them on the phone, you can't tell... but if they called my home number, I'd be freaked out... I don't know who they are, how they got my number, etc... once this author realized this caller may be a 'fan' she had to cut it short. Authors do signings, book events, etc... but they're prepared to deal with fans then... not when one possibly calls their home number... it's freaky.

Until the OP comes back and gives more details, if she wishes, I can't say if the author was really all that rude...

Amanda
Those are my thoughts exactly. I would wonder if they were some kind of stalker or as you say, mentally unstable. I give out my phone number to people I want to call me - anyone else is not invited to call.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #13

tweetykiss

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 15, 2009
Messages
142
Purraise
1
Location
Chicago
Ok, let me first apologize for not coming on sooner on this thread to answer when all of you are trying to help me with this and giving your thoughts and opinions. Life just gets hectic and then we forget our threads and postings.


Sorry I didn't not make things clear enough when I did the original post since I mainly focused on making it short.

Now when I was reading the series of books (way back in 03). The book jacket said she is a therapist and lives with her chiropractic husband. It was an office phone number when my husband made the original phone call right after I finished the series (which she now has more books since then but have not read yet). I don't remember how we got that phone number. My husband was in a near fatal auto accident back in 02 and needed a chiropractor so we thought why not give her husband the business. My husband phoned her and asked if her husband took Medicare and she said he did not take Medicare but knows of someone who does and thus gave the referral. We are still in 03 now.

Two years later (2005), when things worked out great with the chiropractor, I phoned them and the husband answered and I was phoning them just to thank them. We are the type of people who don't just do complaining of bad service but we give praised too if we get good service (which I have another story to tell in another thread pertaining to something else). Anyway, when her husband answered, I praised that chiropractor and he was the one who got friendly with me. I was going to make it a short convo but he turned it a little longer but not too personal and he then told me of another book that his wife (the author) will release soon (in 05) and even told me of a release event combined with the book signing and he wanted our address so he could mail the invite. We got the invite but did not attend the event. I forget why.

Then when we got Avalon (our kitty) who was still only three months old and cuter than a button and still is, I phoned again since I just wanted to not only praise her writing again but I was just overjoyed over our new kitty (first time I had a kitty) that I wanted to share this with her. Now you know the rest of the convo since it is in my original post. I simply felt insulted because of the remark "If I want to see a cat, I will go to the humane society". That is an insult to Avalon.

I can understand about paranoia on stalkers but I am not that type of person since my time is more valuable than that and no one is simply not worth it to me. I am not trying to be smart here but I get very defensive where my pets are concerned.

I mean when one of my husband's brother who is not a nice person made a remark that "all over a frgnng cat" (this was on another subject and not this since I don't discuss books and writers with him). That remark also insulted me. I mean if I made the same remark about his dog, he would get insulted too.

I don't mean for this to be very long, but I realize I was very vague in my opening thread. I do honestly appreciate all the opinions and help you guys gave me.
 

yosemite

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Apr 26, 2001
Messages
23,313
Purraise
81
Location
Ingersoll, ON
Originally Posted by tweetykiss

I can understand about paranoia on stalkers but I am not that type of person since my time is more valuable than that and no one is simply not worth it to me. I am not trying to be smart here but I get very defensive where my pets are concerned.
To be fair, this woman did not know you or what type of person you are or that you consider your time more valuable than that. In her mind you could have just been a crazy cat lady and scary. I can assure you if someone I did not personally know called me to praise something I did and then started talking to me about the cat/dog or anything else they just got and were excited about, I would wonder if they had both oars in the water and would get off the phone call as quickly as I could. I probably wouldn't sleep well either, wondering how they got my number. They may well be the most sincere, nicest people in the world but until we actually knew each other in a social setting, I would not want them calling me for any reason.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #15

tweetykiss

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 15, 2009
Messages
142
Purraise
1
Location
Chicago
Originally Posted by Yosemite

To be fair, this woman did not know you or what type of person you are or that you consider your time more valuable than that. In her mind you could have just been a crazy cat lady and scary. I can assure you if someone I did not personally know called me to praise something I did and then started talking to me about the cat/dog or anything else they just got and were excited about, I would wonder if they had both oars in the water and would get off the phone call as quickly as I could. I probably wouldn't sleep well either, wondering how they got my number. They may well be the most sincere, nicest people in the world but until we actually knew each other in a social setting, I would not want them calling me for any reason.
Ok I understand that she was wondering. Now I am taking it that authors don't like praises from their readers and talking about similar interests. I just thought it was unnecessary to say "If I want to see a cat, I will go to the humane society". Also I am now taking it that I don't have both oars in the water since I am excited about Avalon thus I thought it was alright to post on this message board about being excited about our pets. Then according to my husband's brother, "she is just a frggn cat". Which by the way that conversation with my husband's brother had nothing to do with the author but how I do owe the other brother (more than a brother or two in that family) a favor since he made it possible for me to get the cat. Also the other brother's girlfriend who was trying to get rid of the kittens was able to place the last kitten because of me since a couple of weeks later I ran into someone who wanted a cat. But I see I am not allowed to be excited about all this.

Maybe now the only person I should talk about Avalon to is my uncle who has had Persian cats for years since he knows I am very sane and that I am allowed to be excited about Avalon.
 

calico2222

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 9, 2004
Messages
7,731
Purraise
41
Location
Over the river and through the woods...
Oh honey, we all want to hear about Avalon (I LOVE the name, BTW). I agree what she said was very rude! There are more diplomatic ways to get off the phone, and that was a very bad choice. But, you also have to think....you talked to her husband before, not her, so she didn't know you from Adam. I'm sure she loved that you loved her writing, but you also don't know what was going on in her house at the time. Her "darlings" could have been tearing down the drapes, the sink was backed up, or if she was at work, things could have been going haywire there. She could have just been having a bad, stressful day. You don't know what was going on on the other end.

On a side note, I'm glad you husband got the help he needed and is feeling better now.

You have every right to be excited about Avalon, and I'm looking forward to learning more about her!
 

yosemite

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Apr 26, 2001
Messages
23,313
Purraise
81
Location
Ingersoll, ON
Originally Posted by tweetykiss

Ok I understand that she was wondering. Now I am taking it that authors don't like praises from their readers and talking about similar interests. I just thought it was unnecessary to say "If I want to see a cat, I will go to the humane society". Also I am now taking it that I don't have both oars in the water since I am excited about Avalon thus I thought it was alright to post on this message board about being excited about our pets. Then according to my husband's brother, "she is just a frggn cat". Which by the way that conversation with my husband's brother had nothing to do with the author but how I do owe the other brother (more than a brother or two in that family) a favor since he made it possible for me to get the cat. Also the other brother's girlfriend who was trying to get rid of the kittens was able to place the last kitten because of me since a couple of weeks later I ran into someone who wanted a cat. But I see I am not allowed to be excited about all this.

Maybe now the only person I should talk about Avalon to is my uncle who has had Persian cats for years since he knows I am very sane and that I am allowed to be excited about Avalon.
You missed my point altogether. It's wonderful to be excited about Avalon and to be able to talk to others about her, especially people on this web site who are all strangers but tied together by our love of cats. Yes she was rude to say she could go to the humane society if she wanted to see a cat (and I still don't know why she would say that unless you offered to show her your cat). But in all honesy, if someone I did not know telephoned me to say they thought I was a great (whatever I did for a living - writer/singer/whatever) and then started telling me about a new cat they just got I would be taken aback too and wonder why this stranger was calling me. It just isn't usual to phone up a favourite author and then get personal. That's all I'm saying.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #18

tweetykiss

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 15, 2009
Messages
142
Purraise
1
Location
Chicago
Originally Posted by calico2222

Oh honey, we all want to hear about Avalon (I LOVE the name, BTW). I agree what she said was very rude! There are more diplomatic ways to get off the phone, and that was a very bad choice. But, you also have to think....you talked to her husband before, not her, so she didn't know you from Adam. I'm sure she loved that you loved her writing, but you also don't know what was going on in her house at the time. Her "darlings" could have been tearing down the drapes, the sink was backed up, or if she was at work, things could have been going haywire there. She could have just been having a bad, stressful day. You don't know what was going on on the other end.

On a side note, I'm glad you husband got the help he needed and is feeling better now.

You have every right to be excited about Avalon, and I'm looking forward to learning more about her!
Thank you very much for everything. I was about to say my good-byes on here but you helped made the decision for me to stay on this message board.

I did see your point Yosemite and I thought maybe I should not even talk how excited I am about Avalon since I know no one here on a personal level.

Also Avalon stays in her room a lot since I now have a canary. I never phoned and told anyone about the canary. I have only been phoning Petsmart asking for advice since I want to keep the bird safe. Handymen are coming tomorrow to hang the bird cage so Avalon can come out of her room but I will never leave them alone together.
 

lil maggie

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Feb 14, 2009
Messages
3,107
Purraise
3
Location
Missouri
You are so very wrong!!
Through the love of our furbabies, you know us and we know you on a personal level! I'm glad you decided to stay
 

going nova

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 31, 2008
Messages
1,951
Purraise
12
My home is my private space. I would find it unnerving if a stranger called my home and tried to have a conversation with me.
 
Top