Originally Posted by strange_wings
Personally I'd like to see a poll set up for this that includes age groups. I suspect attitudes are mostly influenced by generation with a lot of the younger generation who's been raised with the belief that practically any form of punishment constitutes as abuse are the one's most firmly against spanking.
...And that may also be why you see so many mothers in their twenties who have wild disrespectful kids.
It was the verbal abuse and being degraded (constantly called stupid and useless). If anyone wants to debate abuse, this is much much worse than any swat on the butt. These are the things that are going to stay with a person for life.
100% with you on both statements. As someone who has been through all forms of abuse, I would much rather be swatted than degraded... which is why I do NOT call my kids names, we have a rule about that in our house. My daughter will be 13 in July, and we've had some huge hormonal fights in the last 6mos. We will say " You are acting foolish/like a b!tch/whatever" NOT You ARE a .............. There's a huge difference in telling someone they are vs their actions are... but that's a whole different thread.
Originally Posted by Yosemite
ETA - I've seen some children act out so badly I've been tempted to spank their parents for standing there and doing nothing.
there's a few of those on my street. Unfortunately I think its going to end only when a child gets severely hurt
I live on a cresent, we have lots of kids on the street..... some better behaved than others. But there is a couple that live near the curves (I live in the middle of the straight part) who have motorized cars.... and are allowed to drive them in the middle of the road
(parents out front doing nothing about it). The curves are blind for the most part.... I've come around them doing less than 10km/h and had to brake suddenly to avoid hitting a child in the middle of the road. What gets me is that the one kid just sits there and stares defiantly at the driver...glares...and waits for a bit before finally moving out of the way. The kids expect vehicles to stop for them, no matter what they are doing.
All it would take is someone coming around the curve doing 25km/hr and they wouldn't be able to stop. If you don't know the kids in this area, you wouldn't know that you have to crawl around those corners.
I'd be ok if the parents would REPRIMAND their kids in any way....but they don't. I had one kid give me the finger.... another kid about 2.5yrs old made his way into my backyard while his mom was 6 houses down at their house, out front on the phone, not paying attention to her child. He came to my back door and stood there. I told him to go home, and turned my back after he started walking away. Without my notice, he came back and pressed his face against the screen door. My dog went NUTS. Barking/growling. and the kid screamed bloody murder. I went out and tried to console the kid while bringing him to the front.... his mom is running up and grabs him from me and starts yelling at me, even after I explained why he was scared. She did NOTHING except yell at me. Ummmm hello????????? Your child.... my property... my dog protecting her family.... not my fault, nothing I could do. This kid was allowed to go wherever he wanted.
ugggggggggggggggggggggg. Sorry....but that was one mom I'd enjoy spanking.
Originally Posted by ut0pia
And, for some kids who have been disciplined inconsistently and let off once or twice, then it may be too late and there may be no other option but to spank. However, if proper discipline is consistent from birth onwards, I really believe it's possible to discipline a child without any spanking.
I don't think someone who has been disciplined inconsistantly would learn from a spank.... Children need consistancy for sure.... so do adults for that matter. Someone gets away with something, they think its ok so they can do it again.
I will have to respectfully disagree with you on your stance of believing its possible to discipline without spanking.
It's a last resort for me, but it's been needed and served its purpose.