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To spank or not to spank??? - Page 10

post #271 of 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by ut0pia View Post
Huh?? How is all that any different than saying we don't get it and will not until we've had children??? I don't see a difference. I don't plan on ever having children, does that mean I should not judge others on how they raise/plan to raise their kids? most of the stuff we say is theoretical anyway, I don't see how it matters whether one has had kids or not its about what one believes is right...
That was your interpretation and your words. The way in which words are used can indeed make a big difference.
post #272 of 293
I don't think there is a parent on the face of this Earth that doesn't have any
regrets about something in the way they raised their children. Parents make mistakes, we all do.
I have regrets but I do not regret the few spanking I gave my son.
I don't think the spanks I gave him were wrong and I am a big enough person to admit if I feel I am wrong.

And saying that if you respect your child they will respect you back seems to me to be naive. Real life doesn't always work that way.
post #273 of 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by ckblv View Post
And saying that if you respect your child they will respect you back seems to me to be naive. Real life doesn't always work that way.
Many people feel the way you do. I don't and I realize i'm probably the minority. I think as little as kids are they have an intuition that tells them how much adults respect them, whether the rules they make for them actually make sense or if they are there just to teach them to follow rules.I think that in the mind of a child, if a rule is there for a valid reason and has been explained to the child very thoroughly why doing so and so is not allowed, then kids feel respected and will respect parents back..Wow I feel like this whole topic is becoming like a science lol I was going to add "other things equal" ...because obviously there are SO MANY factors that determine this stuff that boiling it down to just spanking or just explaining rules just doesn't cut it, everything else must be taken into consideration such as outside influence that parents have no control over....
post #274 of 293
There comes a time when arguments stop making any sense to one that it is time to say sayonara.
post #275 of 293
At the risk of being blown off (again), I'm giving this one more try.

In reference to spanking/butt touching. I do not think that spanking = inappropriate touching. I DO think that SOME children are impacted differently and are crushed by the humiliation of being spanked on th BUTT because they are taught not to let anyone touch them there. I heard the argument that they are smarter than that, but I think that in their young minds, they MAY have a hard time understanding. We all agree (I think) that every child is different.

I think the parent's intention is to punish them with a little bit of pain. IF you feel spanking is necessary, why not a slap on the arm or the hand instead?

Please don't get me wrong. I know that even the butt slappers are good parents. Most of us were spanked and learned our lessons as a result. I'm just saying that this method could unintentionally hurt SOME kids emotionally.
post #276 of 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
There comes a time when arguments stop making any sense to one that it is time to say sayonara.
Yup, that's what I was thinking too
post #277 of 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by ut0pia View Post
Huh?? How is all that any different than saying we don't get it and will not until we've had children??? I don't see a difference. I don't plan on ever having children, does that mean I should not judge others on how they raise/plan to raise their kids? most of the stuff we say is theoretical anyway, I don't see how it matters whether one has had kids or not its about what one believes is right...

I don't think until you (general you) have a child you just don't have the perspective or experience to say what the heck you will do. What you do, depends on the child IMO.

And pretty much, unless you have a child, no, I don't think you can judge others methods of parenting.

A person can say they would never spank and that is easy to say when you don't have a child, but if you did a child that was uncontrollable and nothing else worked you cannot say what you would do. This is just my opinion.

I'm sorry if the non-spanker people that don't have kids feel like they are being ganged up on, I don't think that was intended. But, on the other hand, us pro-spankers, at least I have, feel like, because we have spanked our childrent we are: abusers, perverts and just generally made to feel like bad parents for spanking our kids. Much of that has to do with typing and not talking in person.
post #278 of 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by ut0pia View Post
Many people feel the way you do. I don't and I realize i'm probably the minority. I think as little as kids are they have an intuition that tells them how much adults respect them, whether the rules they make for them actually make sense or if they are there just to teach them to follow rules.I think that in the mind of a child, if a rule is there for a valid reason and has been explained to the child very thoroughly why doing so and so is not allowed, then kids feel respected and will respect parents back..Wow I feel like this whole topic is becoming like a science lol I was going to add "other things equal" ...because obviously there are SO MANY factors that determine this stuff that boiling it down to just spanking or just explaining rules just doesn't cut it, everything else must be taken into consideration such as outside influence that parents have no control over....
LOL, I do not, for one second, believe that kids have any thoughts whatsoever about whether their parents respect them. They just do not have those analytical skills. They are kids and as such they are self absorbed and live in the moment.
post #279 of 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockcat View Post
At the risk of being blown off (again), I'm giving this one more try.

In reference to spanking/butt touching. I do not think that spanking = inappropriate touching. I DO think that SOME children are impacted differently and are crushed by the humiliation of being spanked on th BUTT because they are taught not to let anyone touch them there. I heard the argument that they are smarter than that, but I think that in their young minds, they MAY have a hard time understanding. We all agree (I think) that every child is different.

I think the parent's intention is to punish them with a little bit of pain. IF you feel spanking is necessary, why not a slap on the arm or the hand instead?

Please don't get me wrong. I know that even the butt slappers are good parents. Most of us were spanked and learned our lessons as a result. I'm just saying that this method could unintentionally hurt SOME kids emotionally.
I know I was going to say sayonara, but I just have to respond to the above. I was told on good authority (doctor) that slapping/hitting the hand can do more physical damage than a slap on a fat little butt. There are many little blood vessels and small bones in hands and I was advised never to hit hands.

My own opinion (and of course it's my own) is that leaving a red mark from a slap on the arm would be more humiliating than a red mark on the butt that nobody could see. But that's probably just me and my strange way of thinking.
post #280 of 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by ckblv View Post
LOL, I do not, for one second, believe that kids have any thoughts whatsoever about whether their parents respect them. They just do not have those analytical skills. They are kids and as such they are self absorbed and live in the moment.

That's pretty much one of the first things you learn when you have kids - it's always all about them and what they want. They don't have those pure, unselfish, analytical skills quite developed - it takes a few years before those kick in.
post #281 of 293
I'm a bit late to the party, but I'm curious - is there a particular age group (for the child) that's understood when considering the spank/no spank arguments? Are we assuming young enough that dialogue/reasoning is not a possiblity?

Just curious, so it's easier to put the posts in context (in case I don't read them all!)
post #282 of 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
I know I was going to say sayonara, but I just have to respond to the above. I was told on good authority (doctor) that slapping/hitting the hand can do more physical damage than a slap on a fat little butt. There are many little blood vessels and small bones in hands and I was advised never to hit hands.

My own opinion (and of course it's my own) is that leaving a red mark from a slap on the arm would be more humiliating than a red mark on the butt that nobody could see. But that's probably just me and my strange way of thinking.
That makes sense about the hand having more potential for damage. As far as the red mark on the arm - we can agree to disagree on that. If we all agreed on everything this forum wouldn't exist and life would be boring. I truly believe you, Cindy, SnakeLady, and many others are good moms, even though you are butt slappers.
Probably a good time for me to say sayonara too.
post #283 of 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keycube View Post
I'm a bit late to the party, but I'm curious - is there a particular age group (for the child) that's understood when considering the spank/no spank arguments? Are we assuming young enough that dialogue/reasoning is not a possiblity?

Just curious, so it's easier to put the posts in context (in case I don't read them all!)
With all due respect, to become involved in a thread one should read all the posts.
post #284 of 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockcat View Post
That makes sense about the hand having more potential for damage. As far as the red mark on the arm - we can agree to disagree on that. If we all agreed on everything this forum wouldn't exist and life would be boring. I truly believe you, Cindy, SnakeLady, and many others are good moms, even though you are butt slappers.
Probably a good time for me to say sayonara too.
FWIW, my daughter (now 28) tells me I'm the best mom ever and we've always enjoyed a very close relationship even through her teen years so I must have done something right. We still hang out together and enjoy each other's company and I was the one who spanked - not her dad. The interesting part of this whole thing is that she seems to have more respect for me than for her dad in some ways. Iinteresting to say the least.
post #285 of 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
FWIW, my daughter (now 28) tells me I'm the best mom ever and we've always enjoyed a very close relationship even through her teen years so I must have done something right. We still hang out together and enjoy each other's company and I was the one who spanked - not her dad. The interesting part of this whole thing is that she seems to have more respect for me than for her dad in some ways. Iinteresting to say the least.
Glad to hear it. The only thing I would differ on is I have to say - I have the best Mom.
post #286 of 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockcat View Post
Glad to hear it. The only thing I would differ on is I have to say - I have the best Mom.
That's wonderful that you feel that way. Everyone should feel that way about their moms and dads.
post #287 of 293
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockcat View Post
Glad to hear it. The only thing I would differ on is I have to say - I have the best Mom.
LOL, I think there would be alot of people disagreeing....especially since my kids have the best mom
post #288 of 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
That's wonderful that you feel that way. Everyone should feel that way about their moms and dads.
Yes, that would be awesome.
post #289 of 293
My boss may disagree (unless I can find a charge number for it!)

Wasn't looking to speak out of turn, just looking for some background information to glean something from what I could ingest in X amount of time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
With all due respect, to become involved in a thread one should read all the posts.
post #290 of 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snake_Lady View Post
LOL, I think there would be alot of people disagreeing....especially since my kids have the best mom
...and modest too!
post #291 of 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keycube View Post
My boss may disagree (unless I can find a charge number for it!)

Wasn't looking to speak out of turn, just looking for some background information to glean something from what I could ingest in X amount of time.
We might let you off the hook this time, but just because we like your toilet seat cover. The thread will probably be closed by the time you get done reading anyway.

Honestly, I don't remember if an age group was clarified.
post #292 of 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keycube View Post
My boss may disagree (unless I can find a charge number for it!)

Wasn't looking to speak out of turn, just looking for some background information to glean something from what I could ingest in X amount of time.
In this particular thread you probably gleaned everything there was to glean after the first couple pages - the rest is just reiteration and rebuttal by a few of us who seem to enjoy the reparte. We pro-spankers will still spank and the non-spankers will not spank and probably consider us spankers to be abusive, bad parents. No worries, I have big shoulders and a wonderful grown daughter - life is good!

I also like your toilet seat cover.
post #293 of 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
In this particular thread you probably gleaned everything there was to glean after the first couple pages - the rest is just reiteration and rebuttal by a few of us who seem to enjoy the reparte. We pro-spankers will still spank and the non-spankers will not spank and probably consider us spankers to be abusive, bad parents. No worries, I have big shoulders and a wonderful grown daughter - life is good!

I also like your toilet seat cover.
Well spoken! For all
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