Oh geez, I knew I should have stayed away from this thread. I tried, but alas I am back.
Originally Posted by Yosemite
It's amazing how much more knowledgeable the younger generation are about child rearing than we and our parents were. I'll bet 20 years from now we won't even need penal institutions - the kids will all be model citizens.
Let's hope you are right. Things haven't been working. Right now violence is out of control and our prison systems are full and overflowing. Murders happen with frequent regularity. Anger seems to be common in crime, feelings are dismissed and not dealt with properly, easier to use violence instead of words. Domestic abuse is high, depression and anxiety drugs are advertised and highly profitable and marked in popular magazines and on TV. The population continues to grow and the amount of parents that hit their children/condone spanking as a form of punishment is still very high, the minority are the people that don't believe in hitting. Out of all the people I know personally I am the only person who will not hit a child and thinks this hitting is not okay. Imagine that, parents not hitting their own offspring being the minority. And you know what, there are many forms of successfully parenting, you do not have to hit a child to be a successful parent, which I sometimes feel is implied in this thread. As if you don't hit your children, they will not turn out "right". Or let others hit them, teachers, other family members, or whoever wants the child to obey them no matter what.
I know a co-worker beat (spanked in various areas with an object until she had bruises) his teenage step daughter for running away from home. Where I worked this abuse was seen was acceptable since she ran away. The man who beat her really was a gentle kind man (I thought!), he loved animals, loved kids, I knew him for years and then this, it was a shock. My stomach turned and I cried. He had no qualms openly talking about it to everyone that would listen, his main theme was how has his daughter gotten so out of control. He had used "spanking" before, it really worked great didn't it. And everyone he talked to agreed with him, she "deserved" it - except me.
I keep wondering how so many employees were okay with this, how!? I still get sick thinking about this and yes, something was done about this. I lost contact since then, but I bet you she ran away for good. If the adults I trusted to protect me hit me until I had bruises you bet I would run. In this world we tell children to watch out for strangers and home is your safe haven. But for many they have to watch out for everyone. I am thankful this was not my childhood, but I am aware for many it is. And I am thankful that laws are put into place to protect these children. It isn't a perfect system, but sometimes these systems are all the protection these children have.
Obviously hitting does not equal model behavior/well adjusted adults. There is much more that goes into that than just hitting. A household of 4 kids can all be hit as a punishment, yet, they all turn out different. Like I said before, I know some really amazing people who come from really bad situations, doesn't mean they are amazing because of the bad situation. As in if we had all gone through a bad situation we would be just as amazing.
And not picking on you but just because everyone does it DOES NOT make it okay. Like I said once, at one time women couldn't vote, slaves were kept, and this was viewed as okay. After awhile, enough was enough. Small groups were able to make big change.
I do know I mentally hated being hit (swatted, spanked, whatever you want to call it) as a child and unable to do anything about it because the adults were bigger and stronger and all I had. It was frustrating.
I refuse to do that to my own children, cousins, nephews, nieces, young children in my care, an older child, my spouse, my mother, my co-workers, my pets, or anyone that isn't doing what I want them to do. That does not mean I am not a good baby-sitter or parent or animal owner.
Hitting is not even effective for many kids. Then what?
I don't see why people say you can't reason with a 2 year old and condoning hitting them then also think you shouldn't hit a cat because they can't understand (i.e. we can't reason with them). If anything, little children have even more ability to reason, as they are "human" after all. I wouldn't hit any other human, so why hit my own child?
And the slope is so slippery even with those that think hitting is okay, some say hitting is okay only on the butt. Some say only two hits are okay, no more. Some say hitting is okay by a baby-sitter, some say hitting is okay only by parents. Some say hitting is okay because it is only physical. Some say hitting is okay only with your hands, not an object. Some say hitting is okay with whatever, as long as it is not in anger.