(my response turned into a book, so I'll underline or bold the "points")I agree
Originally Posted by Rockcat
There are other methods.
How about removing their computer, tv, cell phone, toys, etc. from their room and making them earn them back.
with that very much so, and think it applies to a certain age group
. I haven't had the need to spank my children in over a year, my older daughter has been a couple of years.My girls will be 9 and 13 in July
. With my soon to be teen, taking the phone or computer away is a severe punishment to her.
My younger daughter, phone doesn't matter... computer she would miss but its not a huge punishment....but going over to a friends house is a good punishment for her.
***But when they were younger, the only material item that would be classed as a punishment would have been their fav. toy that they sleep with, etc. Which I would NOT do. They were firmly attached to those toys, a security blanket persay, there is no way I would have subjected them to that emotional trauma.***We have gotten very "creative" with our punishments
over the last couple years. My soon to be a teen daughter, kept her room in disgusting conditions.... dirty clothes everywhere, food and food garbage (wrong considerring we don't allow food in bedrooms), feminine products, can't see the floor, papers and garbage all over the place. We would get her to clean it, and she'd just shove things in the closet, under the mattress, wherever. It was disgusting.
We fought many times over a few months.... I tried everything to get her to tidy it. (we don't expect perfection, but things like dirty clothes in the closet is not acceptable to us). I busted my butt helping her clean it good and get it organised, which caused me excrutiating pain for 3 days afterwards. (she kept it tidy for about 2wks)....did the groundings, etc. I even made a deal with my husband, if Kendra could keep her room clean for a month, I would let her have one of my snakes in her room and she would care for it. (this was a HUGE offering. My husband does NOT like my snakes, and likes them to stay in the snakeroom... not be on the main level or upstairs). She wanted it.... but was too lazy to complete her end.Final straw
, a kicking and screaming fight that started about her room. I gave her a time limit, then told her she was going to move into the spare room... with nothing of her own aside from school clothes, 1 book and 1 stuffed animal. I thought just the threat would work. Nope.Yes, she moved into the spare room
and proceeded to keep it a mess... shoving dirty underwear/clothes into the closet, boardgames on the floor. UGGGGGGGG. I started picking her clothes out for school
. She was not allowed in her room to pick them. That worked... she EARNED her room back.
But I wasn't mean with the clothes because I know how school kids are, and some of what I would have liked to make her wear would have cause emotional probs because of school.
(yes I do have a point to make)The room issue took place over the last year, and still continues
. Don't know what I'll do next.
I can't help but wonder, if I told her to keep her room tidy or we'd give her a spank in the beginning of this issue, I think it would have only taken a couple spanks
. Instead I've spent over a year trying to deal with this, countless fights and hygeine/sanitation issues (feminine products and food wrappers in a warm room... not good).
Hindsight is telling me I should have spanked her.