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I feel guilty...

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
As ya'll know I lost Pong not that long back. And about a week after I lost her I was talking with a woman whose cat just had kittens (she really wants to get her spayed but does not have a lot of money. I am working with her on that.) Well after talking with her I decided with the ok from my husband and kids to take in one of those kittens when they are old enough to leave momma. The woman sends me pictures and videos of the baby. They are just over a week old now. Here is a video (on youtube) she shot for us of the baby.
He is the gray one. She has and I have no idea if its a girl or boy yet. She does hold him/her up so that I could see the bottom to see if its a boy or girl but I can't tell.

I feel guilty because maybe I am moving to soon. Maybe I should have waited long, even tho it will be like 7 weeks before the little guy comes here to live. I have just been having a hard time not seeing two kitty's in the house. I just miss her and the fun we all had with two kits in the house.

Then there is the other guilt that Ping and Ping I rescued straight from the street and I am not doing that here. I can argue in my head that he might end up that way with someone else. And others may not spay/neuter the little one and I know for sure that he/she will be here. I know he/she will be an inside cat where as I know others around her don't do that.

Such mixed feelings here.
post #2 of 16
All I can say is that you will know in your heart when you're doing the right thing. Any cat that doesn't have a home that you give a home to is one less cat possibly on the streets or in a shelter.

BTW - the little gray is scrumptious!!!!
post #3 of 16
Awwww, he/she is just precious! I can't tell the difference at that age either.

I can understand the mixed emotions but you KNOW you're not "replacing" Pong. You are adding another member to your family and getting a playmate for Ping. No other cat will ever take the place of Pong in your heart, but you have enough love to give some to another cat. And whether this kitty comes from a shelter or from a friend, it still needs a home. And, 2 months from now is a while so you have time to change your mind if you want to. But it sounds like you are ready.

Now, the question Ping ready to deal with a kitten?
post #4 of 16
Thread Starter 
I guess everything is still so fresh and that is why I have such mixed emotions.

As for how Ping will react...I think he will be fine. It might take a week or two for him to get used to the idea but other than that I think he will be ok. He gave Pong heck the first two weeks she was here but he got used to her and I think the same will happen here.

Anyone have any ideas on names. Right now I am thinking Shi (pronounced Shy). Or something with more of an Asian influence. Ping's full name is Tah Ping Toh, but we call him Ping for short and always have.
post #5 of 16
Don't feel you are doing anything wrong. I adopted Autumn only two weeks after putting Misty to sleep, I was just to lonely and devastated so I went to a shelter and adopted Autumn. Of course she will never take the place of Misty but she has been a companion to me and makes me feel a little better. Taking care of another kitty keeps my mind off the loss of Misty at least for a while each day. If you feel you are ready, adopt this kitten.
post #6 of 16
It was quick and blurry - but I'd guess the grey one is a little boy.
post #7 of 16
Aw, the little ones are so cute. I feel like the gray one is a boy, but that's just instinctual. There's no need to feel guilty. You will never replace Pong in your heart; you are just adding to the love in your home. Any cat that needs a home is worthwhile to be taken in. Go with your heart.
post #8 of 16
I imagine the day one of my own little love's passes on will also be the very day I bring another into my home. After having a certain amount of paws scurrying about the house, it just doesn't feel right without them.

As a little girl, my very first kitty died months after we brought him home (from various diseases). While most people would have immediately put him down as the treatment was not a cure and also very expensive, let alone the extra cost and time that was put into diagnosing him, my Mom took the pro-active approach. So the day we had to finally put him to sleep I prayed to God asking Him to send me all of the sick kitties. OOPS- so far only two of them since have been without some weird, rare disease.

I'm not wishing sick cats on you or insane vet bills, haha! Just giving a personal example to explain that each of my cats have been "meant to be" and NONE of them were shelter/street cats. I still feel the same guilt as you do when I don't adopt or rescue from a shelter/street, so I either sponsor shelter cats or donate.

You just never know in what ways this kitty might be "meant to be" for you. Her situation paired with your own at this specific time sounds a bit like fate to me. And I really doubt Pong would want you to wait before experiencing that kind of joy again.

Whatever you decide, I wish you peace about it & hope everything works out for you!
post #9 of 16
Every body heals differently. If a kitten will help with healing, don't feel guilty. When honey died I got a retired breeder the same age and color and looked just like her (her name was millie) I ended up mostly calling her Honey, I was a little hard for a while, You may not want to do that though, I think it caused me to hurt longer, no matter how much she looked like her, it wasn't Honey, LOL! But getting a kitten may not only help you, but may help your kids, and ping.

Now when Bustah died I never got another dog. It was 5 years since he died (Feb 22nd) I still haven't gotten one. I did "adopt" a female gsd from the shelter to help her with her aggression problems, but she wasn't my dog and I rehomed her when I felt she could be placed. but it's always a process that every body does differently so good luck, I hope you do take the kitten BTW.
post #10 of 16
There is no replacing Pong, and you know that. Sharing your life with a different kitty in need - directly from the street or not - is a different thing. For all you know, Pong helped put you in the place to be having the conversation with that woman. Maybe Pong knows this kitty will get along well with Ping? The love for a new kitty doesn't diminish by one iota the love you have for a kitty that is at the rainbow bridge.

Follow your heart. It is still grieving for Pong, but there is always room for love.

post #11 of 16
If you have love to give (and you can handle it emotionally), there's no such thing as too soon! Aww, your little guy (I think it's a boy, although the video is awfully fuzzy in that part) is adorable. He'll be a handsome cat when he grows up.

Personally I like to wait until a kitten is 9 or 10 weeks old before it goes to a new home. Bite inhibition is better if they stay longer with their littermates. Something to consider.

Have her send more pics as he grows! I love seeing pics of babies.
post #12 of 16
I feel guilty because maybe I am moving to soon. Maybe I should have waited long, even tho it will be like 7 weeks before the little guy comes here to live. I have just been having a hard time not seeing two kitty's in the house. I just miss her and the fun we all had with two kits in the house.
If you're feeling okay with it you're probably ready for another furbaby. I just recently lost one of my cats and I am at the point where I can't fathom getting another. It sounds to me like the time is right for you, and you are only feeling guilty because you think you are moving too fast. Your gut would tell you if it really was a bad idea. We all grieve differently... when my first dog passed away I got another dog within a month. I needed another dog in my life, it wasn't this same waking up to no one. All situations are different, you have 7 more weeks to really decide.

Also about the whole rescuing thing. You did your good deed, it's okay to be getting a kitten from a person and not taking a stray off the street. If anything look at it this way, you are giving this cat a forever home, never will it take up space in a shelter where with another home it might end up that way. So in a way you are helping because you're keeping one less cat out of the shelter system and offering a good home.
post #13 of 16
i don't think you're moving too soon - but that's me. it'll be some weeks before your little blue kit is ready to come to your home, anyway - s/he's only 9 days old! such a cutie - i have a soft spot for the blue ones

if she does another vid for you, have her hold the kit on his/her tummy, then lift the tail - it'll be easier to sex him/her that way, since s/he'll be less likely to squirm as much.
post #14 of 16
Never feel guilty for giving love to a living creature! You aren't replacing Pong. Your heart has lots of room for additional love.

By the way, I think the little one is a boy. From what I saw when I paused the video and went frame by frame, I think he's a boy kitty.
post #15 of 16
He's adorable, and I say "he" because I thought he looked like a boy, too. Either way, I suspect you've already made your decision. How could you not, after seeing that?

I've said this before, but whenever I have lost a kitty (and there have been many times over my 49 years) it has helped my broken heart to adopt a new one within a few weeks. It changes the dynamics of the home, in a positive way. Gives me something new to concentrate on (and love) while working through my grief.
post #16 of 16
Different people are ready to move on at different times. As long as everyone in your family wants the new kitten, and you can afford vet care (shots & fixing) / basic care, I say go for it
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