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My first "non-cat" post....(long)

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
Hi,

Yesterday something so traumatic happened at my home I can't shake the awful feelings.

My lawn guy of 14 years came to mow our lawn for the first time of the season. He showed up just as I was leaving to get my daughter from school, but I went and talked to him for a few minutes before I left. I also paid him for the hedge trimming job he had completed the week before. I left to get my daughter at 2:22 pm.

By 2:45 pm, he was dead in my front yard.

Now, for some more history: Three weeks ago, when he was in the midst of our hedge trimming, he was taking a load of limbs to his ranch to dump them. A truck driving in front of him lost a large hay bale and our lawn guy crashed head on into it, destroying his small truck and giving him a concussion. He'd just returned to work last week, but was still in some pain.

From the report of my neighbor, who witnessed the death, he walked over to her as she returned home, then asked her if he could sit down, as his leg felt strange. He then stretched out on the sidewalk and had what now appears to be a seizure. He became cyanotic (blue) and died.

I am a healthcare professional. I know CPR. No one on the scene even attempted it. I feel so bad I wasn't here...my husband feels the same way as he's also a healthcare worker. I know in my head that there was likely nothing ANYONE could do (I suspect he had a huge brain bleed, similar to Natasha Richardson's), but my heart still wishes I could have tried.

Bob leaves behind an ex wife, 3 young kids, a SO. He also leaves behind his farm dogs, and a herd of cattle. I worry about the family, and I worry about the animals. Did anyone even tend to them last night or this morning?

We were Bob's first big client he had back in 1995. It's so ironic that we were also his last and he was working for us when he got the concussion.

I'm just so sad...so sad.

Thanks for letting me share. RIP Bob.

Cally
post #2 of 20
OMG, how awful! Bob's family must be in a state of shock.

Being a healthcare professinal, you know there wasn't anything you could have done. It sounds as if Bob was basically a "dead man walking". (I don't mean to be blunt, but can't think of a better term.) If you had been there and attempted CPR, you'd be beating youself up because you weren't able to save him.

Please don't beat yourself up over this. It sounds as if Bob was also your friend; I'm so sorry you're going thru this. (((hugs))) to you and your DH
post #3 of 20
This is absolutely heart breaking!

My thoughts definitely go to the family (furred and skin) that he has left behind.

How tragic.
post #4 of 20
After reading your post all I can think of is Wow how awful. I'm thinking his condition after the accident was worse than diagnosed.

I'm thinking CPR would not have helped.

My sympathies goes out to his family and to yours. I would feel shakey too-esp since it happened so quickly and you weren't there to assist.
post #5 of 20
I know it seems so cliche', but sometimes all you have to hold on to is the notion that, "Everything happens for a reason". Whether stranger, acquaintance, family member, or beloved pet.

Small solace, I know.

Condolences for all those involved.
post #6 of 20
Prayers for comfort are sent for Bob's friends & family. So sorry this has happened.
post #7 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by libby74 View Post
OMG, how awful! Bob's family must be in a state of shock.

Being a healthcare professinal, you know there wasn't anything you could have done. It sounds as if Bob was basically a "dead man walking". (I don't mean to be blunt, but can't think of a better term.) If you had been there and attempted CPR, you'd be beating youself up because you weren't able to save him.

Please don't beat yourself up over this. It sounds as if Bob was also your friend; I'm so sorry you're going thru this. (((hugs))) to you and your DH
How awful, indeed. Holding you and Bob's family in my heart.
post #8 of 20
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I'm sure it was unsettling. And it's terrible for Bob's family as well. Just from your brief description my first thought is that maybe it was an embolism caused by a blood clot that broke off and lodged in an artery. For something like that, CPR wouldn't have helped at all. The positive thing to take out of an experience like this is an appreciation for how precious life is. Treasure every day on Earth because you never know how many more you have.
post #9 of 20
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the replies. It helps to share when stuff like this happens. I finally got something to eat and took a little nap and am feeling a lot less "shaky" about the whole thing.

Yes, I would say it was either a bleed, or clot or a combination. One of my neighbors is good friends with Bob's ex-wife and I've asked her to let me know if/when the cause of death is revealed. I really need to reconcile it in my own mind.

My pets were also somewhat traumatized by the events. I'd locked them all in the house and closed the pet flap as I do when he comes to mow. Apparently, the neighbor and EMTs, sheriff, assumed I was inside and were banging on my front door and even went around to the back and banged on that door, trying to get me to come out as they wanted information on him. My pets also saw and heard (sirens) the whole thing. One of my dogs is a HUGE barker, so I'm sure she had everyone riled up. They were a little skittish last night but seem fine today.

And yes, Bob was my friend, more than I'd realized. He "rescued" us when we were building our home and really did a nice job putting in our lawn. He'd planted all our shrubs and had done maintenance for us for the last 7 years. He was a recovering alcoholic with over a decade of sobriety and was so proud of that. He helped hundreds in our community who also struggled with addiction. I'm sure that community is grieving deeply today as well.

Thanks again, your comments have all been so kind.

Cally
post #10 of 20
Wow, how very upsetting and tragic

RIP Bob.
post #11 of 20
Oh my goodness, that is awful

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Bob's family, it must be so heartbreaking...
post #12 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeeDeeMay View Post
Oh my goodness, that is awful

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Bob's family, it must be so heartbreaking...
For Bob's family
post #13 of 20
OMG that is so sad, I would be feeling like you do now too. Condolences to his family, they must be shocked. This will probably stay with you for awhile and that's normal, this was tramatic for all concerned. As far as not being there when it happened, don't beat yourself up about that, as you said it probably wouldn't have helped him anyway. Again I feel so bad for you.
post #14 of 20
How tragic for all of you. My thoughts and prayers go to you and his family.

Don't blame yourself for not being there, sometimes things just happen for reasons we cannot explain and this is one of them.
post #15 of 20
How awful and tragic! I also don't think CPR could have helped.

My sympathies to his family and yours
post #16 of 20
Our prayers are with Bob's family.
post #17 of 20
That must of been traumatic for you and your pets

My thoughts and prayer are with Bob's family.

RIP Bob.
post #18 of 20
Oh wow...what an awful thing to have happen. I can't imagine how rough it must be dealing with that. Please don't blame yourself. Just wanting to be there to do something for him is more than many people would have done. Sometimes these things happen and we have no good explanation.

Many thoughts and prayers for you and for Bob's family.
post #19 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
How tragic for all of you. My thoughts and prayers go to you and his family.

Don't blame yourself for not being there, sometimes things just happen for reasons we cannot explain and this is one of them.
As upsetting as it is, probably nobody could have helped. My thoughts are with his family.
post #20 of 20
Thread Starter 
We had the lawn job finished today by one of Bob's landscaper friends. He did a good job...just not a "Bob job." Sigh. He also refused to take any money.

Funeral is Sunday. Still no cause of death. His family has come together to take care of the kids, etc.

It's still unbelievable to me...

Cally
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