You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other women replied, "Yes I am but thats ok, I married the wrong
man."
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A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
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A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
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Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and by then it was too late."
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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
--------------------------------------------------------------
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
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Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what?
--------------------------------------------------------------
First guy: "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
--------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to
the opposite sex.
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
--------------------------------------------------------------
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other women replied, "Yes I am but thats ok, I married the wrong
man."
--------------------------------------------------------------
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
--------------------------------------------------------------
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
--------------------------------------------------------------
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
--------------------------------------------------------------
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
--------------------------------------------------------------
Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and by then it was too late."
-------------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
------------------------------------------------------------
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
--------------------------------------------------------------
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what?
--------------------------------------------------------------
First guy: "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
--------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to
the opposite sex.
