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To all healthcare workers out there...

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
My cousin sent this to me today and I thought it was too funny not to share!


You know you're a nurse when....

1) the front of your scrubs reads 'Nurses... here to save your butt,
not kiss it!'

2) you occasionally park in the space with the 'physicians only'
sign... and knock it over.

3) you believe some patients are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4) you recognize that you can't cure stupid.

5) you own at least three pens with the names of prescription
medications on them.

6) you believe there's a special place in hell for the inventor of the
call light.

7) you believe that saying 'it can't get any worse' causes it to get
worse just to show you it can.

8) you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom.

9) you believe that any job where you can drive to work in your
pajamas is a cool one.

10) you consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.

11) eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.

12) you've been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form
of birth control.

13) you've ever heard a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring, and
twelve earrings say 'I'm afraid of shots.'

14) you've ever placed a bet on someone's blood alcohol level.

15) you've told a confused patient that your name is that of a
coworker and to call if they need help.

16) your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's water tank.

17) you have seen more penises than any prostitute could dream of. (Ugh...)

18) you believe that not all patients are annoying... some are unconscious.

19) your family and friends refuse to watch medical sitcoms with you
because you spend the whole time correcting everyone and pointing out
upside down x-rays.

20) you don't get excited about blood, unless it 's your own.

21) you've sworn to have 'do not resuscitate' tattooed on your chest.
Soon.

22) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal is perfectly normal to you.

23) your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.

24) your idea of a good time is a cardiac arrest at shift change.

25) you believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.

26) you believe that 'shallow gene pool' should be a recognized diagnosis.

27) you believe that the government should require permits to reproduce.

28) you believe that unspeakable evils will befall anyone who utters
the phrase 'Wow, it's really quiet, isn't it?

29) you have ever wanted to write a book entitled 'Suicide: getting it
right the first time.'

30) you have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say
'I have no idea how that got stuck in there.'

31) you've had to leave a patient's room before you begin to laugh
uncontrollably.
post #2 of 8
Lol! I have had this 1 sent to me many, many times! I have done some of these things I will admit. Nothing mean, just stuff like the physician parking. I thought it was complete crap that they got special parking so I decided I wanted special parking too, lol.
post #3 of 8
I'm not a nurse but I have several pens with hospital/nursing center, medical supply companies, and drug names on them... I just got about 20 more of them two hours ago, with matching post it note pads!

My MIL must have had 80 pens, I was lightening the load a bit.

I do #8 at work (ugh 'cash hands') and #19 is true for me - DH hates it.
post #4 of 8
I'm not a nurse, but a nursing assistant, and a lot of those apply to me. lol That was great!
post #5 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by calico2222 View Post
3) you believe some patients are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4) you recognize that you can't cure stupid.

7) you believe that saying 'it can't get any worse' causes it to get
worse just to show you it can.

16) your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's water tank.

26) you believe that 'shallow gene pool' should be a recognized diagnosis.

27) you believe that the government should require permits to reproduce.

28) you believe that unspeakable evils will befall anyone who utters
the phrase 'Wow, it's really quiet, isn't it?
the above also apply to educators...
post #6 of 8
TOO FUNNY!
I'm no healthcare worker but been in the hospital quite a bit to get a huge laugh most of this!!
post #7 of 8
They're certainly not all true, but more of them are true than I'd care to elaborate on!
post #8 of 8
I admit to having thought most of those things at one time or another while on the job!
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