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Precious, 1995 - 3/9/09

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
Hello, I've been lurking on this website on and off for 4 years but have never posted. However, I felt the need to post this to some people who might understand where I'm coming from.

Excuse any typos but I am writing this with blurry eyes from crying.

My cat, Precious, passed away Monday, March 9th, on my husband and I's 8 month anniversary. She was 14 years old. We've had her since she was just 6 weeks old, which is the majority of my life. I was in 1st grade when we got her. I keep beating myself up as she would have lived much longer if it weren't for what happened. She was very healthy, had no health problems that I knew of.

This is gonna be very long and detailed so thank you to whoever feels the strength to read it.

My husband (Titus) and I work 7am - 11pm on the weekends. Apparently as Titus fed the animals on Sat. morning, Precious escaped to the garage. Honestly, it could have even happened on Fri. night. I don't know. When we got home on Sat. night we went straight to bed. Sunday night we got out of the car and heard meows coming from the garage. We went out there and notice the door from the garage leading to outside was wide open and she is laying in an extra carseat we have. I notice she has sore on her chin and wonder if stray cats came and attacked her but she had no other visibile injuries. I picked her up and put her on the ground and she starts limping. I should have taken her to the emergecy vet at this point but Titus says he thinks she is just weak from no food/water and we need to see how she does in the morning. She drinks a little bit but meows this certain way that she does if we go on car rides and constantly lays down. I go to the store to get her some wet cat food as she doesn't touch her food but all she does is smells it and meows. I pulled her skin up and it went down very slowly. On Monday we didn't wake up until 1:30pm which is another thing that is killing me but yet another thing that I cannot change. I go look for her and she is laying down with her eyes open and breathing, but not moving. We pick her up and her head falls down and she meows a sound I will never forget. We rush her to the vet and he said that her temperature was 92 when it was supposed to be between 100-102, her gums are white, and her leg was bruised as if she had some sort of trauma, like she was hit by a car. He also thinks she might have internal bleeding as when we brought her in the vet tech said she looked like she was having trouble breathing and rushed her to the back to put oxygen on her. He says that she is almost in a vegetative state. As he is telling us this she throws up. I tell them to just euthanize her, as she has suffered long enough. I asked him if he thought it'd be the best thing and he said yes. We also asked if we would have brought her in last night would things have been different and he said no as she is old and he would have had to do emergency surgery on her as soon as she got hit by the car and even then she probably would have only had a 30% chance of surving. I don't know how he came up with that or if it's true but I'm just going to believe him because if I don't (which deep down I know I don't) I will never EVER forgive myself. They ask me if I want to watch her get euthanized and I tell them I just can't. I've already seen her in ways I wished I never would like her being completely motionless and her head going completely backwards and I don't want to see her dead.

Afterwards they ask me what I want to do with her remains and give me options that I feel like I can't make so I go to the waiting room and think. I ask the lady at the desk if she knows of any pet cemetarys and without knowing Precious' name, she says "I know that there is one called Precious Pets." Immediately I knew that's where she was to go. Not only is it called Precious Pets, but it is not even 2 minutes from both Titus' and my grandparents and my daughter's school (we drive her 20 miles to a private school). She was buried at 1pm yesterday.

I'm so sorry baby girl.

If anyone has any idea on how I can tell my 5 year old daughter, please let me know as I'm not sure exactly what to say. I have never been involved in the loss of a pet and my head feels like it is about to explode.

Here's my beautiful girl, doing what she did best. These were all taken in the 90's. I have no recent pictures of her.
post #2 of 18
So sorry about your cat.
My Stormy was pts the day before our aniv in 2007 and March 8th was 20 years since we lost Patches.
I know how you feel.
You can post on this site.
post #3 of 18
I am so sorry for your loss.She is now at the Rainbow Bridge and she will hurt no more.R.I.P Precious
post #4 of 18
Let me start by saying I am so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to lose them so suddenly.
Second, please do not beat yourself up. I have a friend who has done cat rescue for over 15 years & she had a cat get out on her a couple years ago. She was never able to get him back. It was an accident, and accidents happen to the best cat owners in the world. It is obvious to me that you loved her, and you gave her a good life for 14 years, much longer than a lot of cats have. It's OK to be sad & cry, but please be forgiving with yourself.

As far as your daughter, I'm not sure how I would handle it, but be honest about her being dead. I don't have kids, so maybe someone else may have differnt advice, but I would not go into detail about what happend, unless she asks. Then I would give as few details as necessary. I do know at 5 a childs concept of death is differnt. I had a great instructor in a Life & Loss class that gave this great piece of advice, "Never say that he/she went to sleep or was put to sleep, because your child will take that litterally and may be afraid they will die if they go to sleep." No one likes to talk about death, but at that age using the appropriate terms are important. Again I am truly sorry for your loss.
post #5 of 18
I'm so sorry for your loss

At the top of this forum is a thread with the Rainbow Bridge poem. Perhaps you could print that and read it to your daughter and use that to explain to her where Precious went?

post #6 of 18
RIP Precious
post #7 of 18
I'm very sorry for your loss. You gave her a good life and she loved you.

Here's a website I found about explaining death to a young child, and an excerpt too.

A child who is under the age of 5, may not understand what death is and that the person is not coming back. When you tell your child, use the words death and died. Do not lie to the child and tell them that they are sleeping, this will only cause them to be afraid to go to sleep. Try not to use the word lost in front of the child, this can make them afraid that they may become lost.

It's about a family member dying, but it would work for pets too.
post #8 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thank you everyone for the kind responses.

I am still so angry with myself for not taking her to the vet when we found her. I am so angry! I keep telling her I'm sorry. She was so healthy, she still had many years to go. I don't understand why this happened. I still cannot stop thinking about this and I still can't stop crying. I cry myself to sleep and I cry when I wake up. It never ends!! My body aches. I haven't been taking care of what I need to around the house. I've been of no use. Even though I know it's not true, I feel like I'm the only one takes loss of a pet like this. It seems like everyone who has had a loss just moves on with life, and I can't. I feel like I can never love a pet again because I don't want to feel this again, yet I look up cat breeds I want next. Then I feel guilty for looking and I say, "I'm not replacing you, Precious. You can't be replaced." Then I feel funny for saying this because she can't understand English, of course.

We have been planning on getting an Ibizan Hound for months, and they are due to be born next week. But I can't get excited. A dog is not a cat.

The house feels so empty now. I am so mad that I took advantage of Precious being with me for so long. I'm mad that I didn't pet her when she wanted to be petted because I was "too busy" doing something else. I'm mad that I yelled at her to "Shut up!" when she was outside my bedroom door and just wanted to come in and be with me. I'm mad at my husband, who constantly left doors and cabinets open, which ultimately caused her to get hit by the car. I'm mad that he STILL leaves doors open. I'm mad at the fact that not too long ago, I told him, "One of these days, something will happen and you will regret leaving all these doors open!". Now I feel like I made this happen. I'm mad at the fact that I can't rewind to Friday night and make sure this didn't happen. I'm mad that I'm looking at other animals to get and that I will be extra cautious to make sure nothing happens to them and that I should have done that in the first place and my childhood cat had to pay for it.

I'm so sorry Precious. I love you, I really do.
post #9 of 18
Keke. I know how you feel. Only time will help you.

RIP Precious . You were loved.
post #10 of 18
all of the guilt, the 'what might have beens', etc. that you're feeling is normal. i went thru the same thing when my Mouse left me - beat myself up for not noticing sooner, for not finding the right vet sooner, etc.
you did your best for Precious, & she knows it.
getting a new feline friend will not be 'replacing' her, it'll be honoring her & the love you shared. i strongly feel that, when we are ready for this new love to enter our lives [& that time frame differs widely from person to person] that our departed friend will guide us to the right one, placing that choice in our paths.
sending & for you & your family, & a for Precious...

post #11 of 18
I am so sorry for your loss.

Rest in peace, Precious.
post #12 of 18
Originally Posted by KeKe View Post
The house feels so empty now. I am so mad that I took advantage of Precious being with me for so long. I'm mad that I didn't pet her when she wanted to be petted because I was "too busy" doing something else. I'm mad that I yelled at her to "Shut up!" when she was outside my bedroom door and just wanted to come in and be with me.

I'm so sorry Precious. I love you, I really do.
I have felt and thought those exact things. I had two kitties several years ago; when I got them I was single, and they were my life. Then I got married, had kids, and kitties sort of took a back seat to "kid stuff". I felt guilty - but they knew I loved them, and Precious understood, too.

In reference to your daughter, she needs to be told. The idea that Alley Girl had about reading the poem was a good one. When and if you decide to get another kitty to love - know that you're not replacing Precious. I always look at it as changing the dynamics of the household somehow - in a positive way - by bringing in a new one to love.
post #13 of 18
The not wanting another cat because it is so hard to lose them is normal. Give yourself time, and that will pass. You can never replace her that is true!
When my Smokey passed, I felt a bad about getting kittens, but a friend's Mom put it a good way. She said look at it as a tribute to Smokey. She was such a wonderful cat & you loved her so much that you can't imagine your life without a cat.
post #14 of 18
I'm so very sorry, what a sweet little girl Precious is as well

post #15 of 18
Sending you prayers and vibes for healing I know only too well about hubbies leaving doors open - I have that same problem. In fact, when I was keeping my grandson's cat for him, my hubby left the door open & GS's cat got outside & disappeared, never to be found Seeing the heartbreak of an 8yo boy caused by an irresponsible adult really tore me up
Maybe your little girl could use the companionship of another young kitty - there are certainly plenty of volunteers who would love to be in your wonderful home. The fact that Precious was a thriving 16yo is a testament to that. Play happily over RB, sweet Precious
post #16 of 18
I couldn't view the pics?? RIP Precious!
post #17 of 18
I`m so sorry for your loss It is only natural to blame yourself but it wasn`t anyones fault, just a terrible accident.

Rest In Peace Precious

( I couldn`t view her pictures either but I bet she was beautiful. )
post #18 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thank you very much everyone. It has now been a week since Precious crossed the Rainbow Bridge. I am doing much better with healing and have stopped going crazy every day. I still do cry every now and then, but not nearly as much.

Good news: we have decided to follow our hearts and wait on the puppy, and instead get 2 new kittens!
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