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im hurt

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
well i just found out tonite that everyone on my team at work goes out partying on saturday night to a real popular club in my town. OK, they all know i love to go out and party but not one person ever asked me to come along. The thing that sux is i was always hoping to make friends at work to go drinking with. I have no one around here to do that with, all my party friends live in DC. Im an outgoing person and have had conversations before about partying so i dont understand why they wouldn't include me, so im done.

1st off, they don't even know what a real "club" is, and 2nd of all i would out dress every single one of them and show them whats up. I'm not being conceited here, im just sick of people in this stupid town thinking they are the greatest thing since sliced bread and im also really upset, it would have been nice to have a fun group of people to go out with once in a while.

well they can all go screw themselves, im not talking to any of them anymore.

and what makes matters worse is today was my best friends last day, shes alot older than me so out of the party phase, but we basically helped hold each other together at the job. Shes taking FMLA , shes bi polar and having huge problems right now so shes going to be off for a month, so now ill have no one. i seriously just want to cry.
post #2 of 26
You are stronger than letting people who didnt invite you to go out and party, upset you. Its not worth the emotion. Not everyone is going to love you in life, but who cares, there will be many that do.
post #3 of 26
I know how that feels. I don't know what to say, other than I'm sorry!

post #4 of 26
Oh, I'm sorry!! I SO know how that is! The people at my work are SO clique-y. I really don't have many friends either. It's sad sometimes, but I do have Jon and now Cammy.
post #5 of 26
Thread Starter 
well i thought they were my friends, but i just really needed to vent, thanks for all your kind words
post #6 of 26
What you mean you have no one??? You got all us here!!! We loves ya!
post #7 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by cats4sky View Post
1st off, they don't even know what a real "club" is, and 2nd of all i would out dress every single one of them and show them whats up. I'm not being conceited here, im just sick of people in this stupid town thinking they are the greatest thing since sliced bread and im also really upset, it would have been nice to have a fun group of people to go out with once in a while.
Could they sense you feel this way about them? Because if you really feel this way, you might be coming off a bit stand offish, perhaps without even knowing it...
I am not trying to judge here, but for what you wrote you might think you are better than them?
Just a thought.
post #8 of 26
Oh hon I know what it's like to feel left out. One thing I want to ask though....did you move to a small town in PA? Sometimes with small towns, it IS hard to get included in things. Most people in smaller towns know each other from before, or know someone that knows someone that is related to their SIL twice removed....you get the idea. Trust me, I grew up in a small town and now live in an even smaller small town. Complete strangers seem to know my family tree better than I do!

If you recently moved there from DC, it could also be that your life experience intimidates them. I mean, it's hard to compete with big city clubs. I've been to clubs in DC, and was blown away! We don't have "clubs" or go clubbing around here....we have bars and go bar hopping. The best "club" we have would probably fit in a bathroom of one of the clubs in DC. We're just happy they play dance music and have decent pool tables.

Maybe you should try to invite some of THEM out one night. Just loosen up, and don't compare it to DC clubs, and just have fun.
post #9 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by cats4sky View Post
1st off, they don't even know what a real "club" is, and 2nd of all i would out dress every single one of them and show them whats up. I'm not being conceited here, im just sick of people in this stupid town thinking they are the greatest thing since sliced bread and im also really upset, it would have been nice to have a fun group of people to go out with once in a while.

well they can all go screw themselves, im not talking to any of them anymore.
Um....

This might be why...


I understand you're upset and quite honestly they ought to have invited you at least once, but this response comes off very immature and snobby to me, perhaps they got the same impression?
post #10 of 26
That sucks and I know exactly how you feel. I'm with you - screw 'em! They're the ones that are missing out, not you.
post #11 of 26
You may not feel this way now, but take my word for it......the last people you want to party with, go night clubbing, bar hopping, whatever....is people you work with! This only creates an uncomfortable working atmosphere, they have something on you, you have something on them....... Work and play should always be kept separate, those who mix the 2 pay the price.I guarantee you will see this in time!
post #12 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by carolinalima View Post
Could they sense you feel this way about them? Because if you really feel this way, you might be coming off a bit stand offish, perhaps without even knowing it...
I am not trying to judge here, but for what you wrote you might think you are better than them?
Just a thought.
This was my first impression when I read your thread as well. When you are at work do you often refer to how wonderful things were where you used to live? Or make disparaging remarks comparing their small town to where you used to live? You may be alienating them without even realizing it.
post #13 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pami View Post
You are stronger than letting people who didnt invite you to go out and party, upset you. Its not worth the emotion. Not everyone is going to love you in life, but who cares, there will be many that do.
As hard as it is; don't let them drag you down. How long have you lived there?
post #14 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forensic View Post
Um....

This might be why...


I understand you're upset and quite honestly they ought to have invited you at least once, but this response comes off very immature and snobby to me, perhaps they got the same impression?
i know that comment was very snobby and immature, and i kinda started this thread when i was still all worked up about it and thats the only reason i said that. Today when i woke up i was alot calmer about things, esp after i read some of your responses. I dont think they think im snobby, i work with alot of nice people and i always find some common ground with people to start a convo about things, im really not one of those people that go to work acting like im better than everyone else.
post #15 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by carolinalima View Post
Could they sense you feel this way about them? Because if you really feel this way, you might be coming off a bit stand offish, perhaps without even knowing it...
I am not trying to judge here, but for what you wrote you might think you are better than them?
Just a thought.
oh no, its not that i think i better than them, but your post made me think alot about things i could have said that i didnt even realize came out the wrong way.
with one of the people he goes to clubs in NYC and i go to DC, so we come into work and tell each other crazy weekend stories, so i really dont see the harm there...then the other girl talks about how she was on tour with a band and partied all over the place and was sharing some stories, so i was just being friendly we were on common ground so i would share some fun stories back, maybe i was just so happy talking about it that it sounded like i was bragging?? the only other thing i said was"have you ever partied in DC? its awesome!

Then on the other end of the spectrum during party talk i would comment on how i cant do it every weekend like i used to, i go out once a month partying in DC and thats enough for the month lol. Then when people would ask me what im doing over the weekend id say spending it on the couch!

so they couldve even thought that maybe i wouldnt want to go...who knows..but im not hostile anymore.
post #16 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by calico2222 View Post
Oh hon I know what it's like to feel left out. One thing I want to ask though....did you move to a small town in PA? Sometimes with small towns, it IS hard to get included in things. Most people in smaller towns know each other from before, or know someone that knows someone that is related to their SIL twice removed....you get the idea. Trust me, I grew up in a small town and now live in an even smaller small town. Complete strangers seem to know my family tree better than I do!

If you recently moved there from DC, it could also be that your life experience intimidates them. I mean, it's hard to compete with big city clubs. I've been to clubs in DC, and was blown away! We don't have "clubs" or go clubbing around here....we have bars and go bar hopping. The best "club" we have would probably fit in a bathroom of one of the clubs in DC. We're just happy they play dance music and have decent pool tables.

Maybe you should try to invite some of THEM out one night. Just loosen up, and don't compare it to DC clubs, and just have fun.
i have always lived in small town PA, but ive always enjoyed the big city clubbing so i found a few years ago that DC was my fave place to go clubbing, so ive been going down there for years and made alot of really great friends...so basically its my fave city, fave place to club out of all the places ive been clubbing, and the people are so friendly there!

and even thought there are no big clubs in small town PA it would still be nice to go out to a fun local place and party with some fun people. I think i might just bring it up in a casual conversation how id love to go out to some local places but havent really been out to many and kinda work it that way...it cant hurt.

post #17 of 26
Maybe move to DC?
post #18 of 26
Thread Starter 
i would like to move to DC someday but i actually like where i live its up in the mountains but only 15mins to our little city. DC is like a 2nd home and i dont mind the driving, its kinda like home away from home. I just wish i had some pals up here to go out and get silly with.....its all good.
post #19 of 26
They're afraid your clubbin' clothes will have too much cat hair on it, haha!!!

That's not very considerate keeping you in the dark, but from my point of view, my colleagues that I am around all day long are the very last people I want to go out with. Well that, and I'm surrounded by doctors and scientists, and their definition of a night out consists of going to a fast food restaurant before hitting the lab to work at night.

D.C. is nuts. I was out there a few years ago on an internship, and couldn't keep up with you guys. ' 3am and I was ready to hit the bed, while the locals were just getting warmed up. I couldn't do it again. That and it's madd expensive out there. My MI ass decided to skimp and live in PG county....lol. I was like, "Hey, I'm back in Detroit!"

Just go crash the party and then have a really awkward following week!
post #20 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ancientsanskrit View Post
They're afraid your clubbin' clothes will have too much cat hair on it, haha!!!

That's not very considerate keeping you in the dark, but from my point of view, my colleagues that I am around all day long are the very last people I want to go out with. Well that, and I'm surrounded by doctors and scientists, and their definition of a night out consists of going to a fast food restaurant before hitting the lab to work at night.

D.C. is nuts. I was out there a few years ago on an internship, and couldn't keep up with you guys. ' 3am and I was ready to hit the bed, while the locals were just getting warmed up. I couldn't do it again. That and it's madd expensive out there. My MI ass decided to skimp and live in PG county....lol. I was like, "Hey, I'm back in Detroit!"

Just go crash the party and then have a really awkward following week!
hahaha omg i know....They go straight into the next day, i make my bedtime around 5-6am, cause im the one that has to drive 4hrs home the next day...but there were a couple times the bedtime didnt work out to well.

everyone i work with is mad chill...we talk about everything and anything with each other, its pretty cool, a very relaxed atmosphere.

I really thought about just showing up one nite. Me and my supervisor are really chill with each other and i was telling him and hes like screw it they never ask me either! So we decided to go out and get trashed together....maybe we should show up there??? that would really freak them out!
post #21 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by cats4sky View Post
I really thought about just showing up one nite. Me and my supervisor are really chill with each other and i was telling him and hes like screw it they never ask me either! So we decided to go out and get trashed together....maybe we should show up there??? that would really freak them out!
Whatever you do, DO NOT get trashed with your supervisor - don't ever get drunker or party harder than him. EVER. Otherwise one day you will learn the wrong way - that I guarantee you. Things can turn in a way that you'd never think of.
post #22 of 26
Maybe your co-workers are jealous of the way you look or intimidated somehow?
post #23 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by nurseangel View Post
Maybe your co-workers are jealous of the way you look or intimidated somehow?
idk...at 1st i did get that impression from the girls, i was noticing that it seemed all the guys would talk to me but not the girls. The thing is i go to work in jeans and a reg shirt or a nice top, i barely ever wear make up to work. I just brushed it off as the girls being catty. I kept being friendly with them and finally they came around and they chat with me all the time now about purses clothes..whatever....so who knows....ya never really know!
post #24 of 26
We need pictures to confirm this...
post #25 of 26
Well maybe their just not as much fun as you are and think your to cool for them?

It sucks that they never asked you but i'm sure you'd have fun with your supe! hopefully you feel better
post #26 of 26
Thread Starter 
my 1 local girlfriend (LOL) sent me a message about getting together soon, we both just got really caught up in our work but we used to be drinking buddies and finally she has weekends off, so i asked her about that particular bar that everyone goes to, and shes never been there either so we are going together probably in 2 weeks.

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