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I'm so torn

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
I am really struggling with my job right now, I am so unhappy at it. I hate working somewhere where I'm miserable. The thing is it is one of the best paying jobs available around here. I just can't stand it any longer! I'm really having a hard time making it through the work day. I am looking for a new job, it just sucks though. DH doesn't understand how miserable I am at it. He is saying he is ok with me looking for another job, but then makes a comment every now and then asking if I'm going to be alright with the pay cut, how are we going to pay for school, etc. I'm sure no matter what, we'll manage, and he knows that. I've really tried to fight through this and tough it out.I'm just at my wits end with this job. I absolutely hate it! I broke down in front of DH this morning as he was dropping me off.It's just myself,DH, and Ricky Bobby, so we can stand to take a pay cut. It's just going to be different because we're trying to go to college, and are planning a move across the state in about a yr- a yr and a half. I am just so torn. I absolutely hate my job! I am very grateful that I have that job, it was a huge blessing and helped us get our feet back on the ground during rough times. I just don't know. That's how I feel.
post #2 of 15
I'm sorry you are having to go through this. What is it about your job that you dislike? It's really hard to find a job now, many people are unemployed so it will not be the easiest thing to even find a lower playing job. I totally understand what it's like to hate your job for whatever reason...I've been at a job where i also broke down crying as my mom was dropping me off..What kind of job are you looking for?
post #3 of 15
I'm so sorry that you are going through this, what is it about your job that you hate?
post #4 of 15
Thread Starter 
I'm just not happy there. I work customer service for a medical insurance. It's the dr's offices that call in, so you'd think these people would be somewhat professional. Wrong! The callers are very rude, verbally abusive, demanding, and just plain old mean. It's not even that that gets to me, I'm used to rude people. I'm just tired of dealing with them day after day, hour after hour. We're really busy, under staffed and really stressed to meet guidelines and requirements. I'm just sick of it. I dread waking up in the morning to go to work. I find myself staying up as late as I can to stretch the hours before it's time to go in. I hate being like that when it's already so hard to find a job. I'm incredibly thankful for being fortunate enough to have a job. I just don't know how much longer I can keep doing it. I feel so guilty because I feel like I'm being a brat. But I am so unhappy there. It's really stressful and the stress is really weighing down on my health. I just hate that I feel that way.
post #5 of 15
I understand not liking your job, but with the way the economy is right now you will be hard pressed to find a workplace that is not "really busy, under staffed and really stressed to meet guidelines and requirements". Most businesses have had to lay people off b/c they just can't afford to pay them anymore, so everywhere will be short staffed and stressed. I recently heard someone say "if you are employed right now, consider yourself lucky." I know it can be hard. I'm in the opposite boat you are in, I've been unemployed since May, so almost a year. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you aren't justified in your feelings and you shouldn't feel that way. I've btdt a few times before. I hope things work out soon!!
post #6 of 15
Hope you find what you're looking for and that things turn out for the best!
Good luck vibes
post #7 of 15
I'm sorry that you are unhappy with your job right now.

However, the economy is really bad and it's hard to find a job, let alone one that pays decently and has a bit of job security in it.

Sometimes we just have to do what what it takes to get ahead in life. You said you are both in school and a pay cut would make it harder for you to both go to school.

My advice is to suck it up and keep the job that you have and look toward the future when you have graduated school and can afford to leave that job and get another one.

Things in life worth having, don't always come easy. This is one of them.

Quote:
The callers are very rude, verbally abusive, demanding, and just plain old mean.
You'll find that to be the case no matter what job you get that deals with people. You have to understand that they aren't mad or angry with you. They are upset about their situation and you just happen to be the person they are unloading on. It's nothing personal against you though. I get verbally abused by patients all of the time...doctors too sometimes. Is it right? No. But I keep in mind that their words are not directly at me personally and put it behind me and move on.
post #8 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by LayItDown View Post
I'm just not happy there. I work customer service for a medical insurance. It's the dr's offices that call in, so you'd think these people would be somewhat professional. Wrong! The callers are very rude, verbally abusive, demanding, and just plain old mean. It's not even that that gets to me, I'm used to rude people. I'm just tired of dealing with them day after day, hour after hour. We're really busy, under staffed and really stressed to meet guidelines and requirements. I'm just sick of it. I dread waking up in the morning to go to work. I find myself staying up as late as I can to stretch the hours before it's time to go in. I hate being like that when it's already so hard to find a job. I'm incredibly thankful for being fortunate enough to have a job. I just don't know how much longer I can keep doing it. I feel so guilty because I feel like I'm being a brat. But I am so unhappy there. It's really stressful and the stress is really weighing down on my health. I just hate that I feel that way.
It's sad that the professionals you deal with can't treat you with courtesy. I can understand that from the general public, but your peers should be more polite. Too bad you can't change them.
May I suggest ...
1) you start going to bed earlier? I understand why you are staying up. I tend to do the same thing. I find, however, that when I get more sleep, I am more in control of my emotions.
2) Do something to calm yourself before work. I pray and ask God to help me through the day. I look at my husband sleeping and thank God for him and for the kitties. It helps me a lot. It helps me remember what I DO have and how much it means to me. If that isn't something you would do, try doing something else peaceful to start your day.
3) Smile at the person on the other end of the phone. It is not going to work every time, maybe not even most times, but if it helps cheer someone, it will boomerang back to you. The caller may be having a rough day too.
I don't hate my job, but there are times when I come in in a good mood and it is crushed because of someone else's attitude. It is an ongoing struggle to avoid allowing someone else to dictate how I feel. I am telling you what I tell myself: YOU are a professional intelligent person who is good at what you do. YOU are worthwhile. YOU are needed. Don't let others ruin your day.
Of course, keep looking for a job where you are happier, but try not to sacrifice too much of your income. It is a lot easier to get a job when you already have one.
post #9 of 15
I have been in your position and trust me, it was worth the pay cut to be happy at work. I took about a 6K per year pay cut to switch jobs 6 years ago and it was the best decision I have EVER made in my career.
post #10 of 15
I like Rockcat's suggestions, I was thinking of similar things, such as try to have a positive attitude at all times even if the person is incredibly rude. I've also been in a customer service job, and although having the best attitude doesn't always help it reduces the number of instances when someone is incredibly rude to you. I guess it also depends on the job though, if you work at a place where you have lots of authority in fixing things, like you are allowed to put the customer first and help them even if they are wrong and the company will lose some money, then it's much easier, but if your company is one of those places they demand out of you to save every cent even if the customer is unhappy, then there is very little you can do. If I am ever really stressed over things that are out of my control, I get into a really good novel to calm myself down. It really works for me, and you can find something that really works for you too! But I do agree that your happiness at work is way more imporant than income, so if you find a job where you think you will be happier, then take it! But it's really hard now, I do wish you the best of luck though
post #11 of 15
Boy do I know how you feel. I am in a similar situation with a twist. I love the work I do but my boss is a horribly vindictive and downright unhappy woman who makes it her goal to make the people who work for her miserable

Everyone is right though, this economy is no place for job finding right now. What I would do...and am doing, is biding my time and making sure that I keep a close eye on the job sites. If I see something that looks like it would be a good fit, stable company, and a step up I will submit my resume. Personally I have only seen one opportunity so far like that in the 6 plus months I have been looking (I didn't get the job ) so I think that is a indication of just how bad things really are right now.

Keep your eyes and ears open for the opportunities but don't let your unhappiness trick you into doing something that wouldn't be good for you right this moment.
post #12 of 15
Thread Starter 
Wow,thanks everyone. You guys are so supportive and have great suggestions. I keep trying to tell myself to stick it out and hang in there. In about a yr and a half I'll be moving across state and can leave that place forever. I really am trying to suck it up. I know how bad the economy is and how hard it will be. Ya'll have made me feel better already though. It's just so hard to think that I'll be stuck there for at least another year. I get so mad when I think of that. I m still going to look for another job, keep my eyes and ears open for any opportunities.
post #13 of 15
Something else I don't think I saw mentioned in the good advice you've already got is that in this job you have some seniority at least -- not a bad thing in tough economic times. In any new job, no matter how wonderful it is, you will be low person on the totem pole and likely the first to go if the company finds itself cutting staff. A year and a half feels like a long time right now, but it's not forever.
post #14 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mai_kitties View Post
Boy do I know how you feel. I am in a similar situation with a twist. I love the work I do but my boss is a horribly vindictive and downright unhappy woman who makes it her goal to make the people who work for her miserable
Everyone is right though, this economy is no place for job finding right now. What I would do...and am doing, is biding my time and making sure that I keep a close eye on the job sites. If I see something that looks like it would be a good fit, stable company, and a step up I will submit my resume. Personally I have only seen one opportunity so far like that in the 6 plus months I have been looking (I didn't get the job ) so I think that is a indication of just how bad things really are right now.

Keep your eyes and ears open for the opportunities but don't let your unhappiness trick you into doing something that wouldn't be good for you right this moment.
Oh, wow. Do I EVER know that one!

Back to the OP - good luck to you. I hope you can sort it out.
post #15 of 15
In my prior job while the pay and benefits were excellent the opportunity for advancement was non existant. Basically a rotation of positions so I seriously contemplated quitting.
I didn't hate to go to work but no motivation to keep doing the same thing over and over.

That changed in spring 2004 when our office was targeted for closing. Before that announcement I was going to leave in the fall-I had made my decision. Now I waited 16 months for the office to close for a good severance package. I knew the end was in sight and I felt relieved!! I counted down the days backwards written on my calendar to see the end.

If you know for sure you will be moving in say 18 months. Do the same-mark it down on the calendar as a goal. I think you will feel better knowing there is an end. I think this might help you with your attitude at work as well as handling the job stress.

Do your other co-workers feel the same way?? Perhaps a meeting to help figure out a way to combat the workload??
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