Mid-Life Analogy

Got this in email just now and wanted to share with those who might be able to relate.


I've seen two shows lately that went on
and on about how mid-life is a great time for women.
Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great
menopause will be....

Puhleeeeeeeze!

I've had a few thoughts of my own
and would like to share them with you.
Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60
or maybe even just pushing your luck)
you'll probably relate.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on
our legs slows down.
This gives us plenty of time
to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In Mid-life women no longer have upper
arms, we have wingspans. We are no
longer women in sleeveless shirts,
we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can
stand naked in front of a mirror
and you can see your rear without
turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram
and you realize that this is the only time
someone will ask you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab
every firm young lovely in a tube top
and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman
empire fell and those will too."

Mid-life brings wisdom to know
that life throws us curves and
we're sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at
your-know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager
and think: "For this I have stretch marks?"

In mid-life your memory starts to go.
In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake
now includes Legs By Rand McNally --
more red and blue lines than an accurately
scaled map of Wisconsin.

Mid-life means that you become more
reflective...
You start pondering the "big" questions.

What is life? Why am I here?
How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat
before it's no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it
an appreciation for what is important.
We realize that breasts sag, hips expand
and chins double, but our loved ones make the
journey worthwhile.

Would any of you trade the knowledge that you
have now for the body you had way back when?

Maybe our bodies simply have to expand
to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired.

That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

!!

Very funny!!!!!!!!! These two are my favourites:

Originally posted by hissy
In Mid-life women no longer have upper
arms, we have wingspans. We are no
longer women in sleeveless shirts,
we are flying squirrels in drag.

...............

Mid-life is when you want to grab
every firm young lovely in a tube top
and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman
empire fell and those will too."

Click to expand...

Thanks for the laugh!

Gee...I recognized myself in way too many of those!

There is not much worse than writing on the chalkboard in front of 50 college students and realizing that, instead of watching what I am writing on the board they are watching the flab under my upper arm wave back and forth as I write! (I'm not going to mention that someone told me my butt jiggles when I write on the board )

Squrriels......Draging squrriels....... I knocked the mouse off the table laughing at that!!