Grandma's Cat

My Grandma (she's 89) just lost her cat last month to a throat tumor. My Grandma is still feeling guilty because on the morning of the day they took the cat to the vet the cat had asked her to sit down and love her, but my Grandma felt she was too busy. They took the cat to the vet around noon and she had to be put to sleep and she fought.

I offered one of my two kitties to stay with her till she gets a new one, but she said she wasn't going to get another cat because she's too old and wouldn't be able to live the entire life of the cat. She also said she didn't want to get attached to another cat.

Is there anything that anyone knows of that I can do for her? I'm scared to give her anything with cats on it even though we're both known as yeller cat suckers in our family. I don't want to bring up the pain again. She's also not on computers.

Thanks!

TTMom

Perhaps you could suggest that there are many older cats that need love at the local shelter and she still has so much love to give, and so do these cats. Maybe, she will want to give one a furever home for their last days.

I think Teresa has a wonderful idea! There are many older cats in the shelters, and they are the ones less likely to get a home. Perhaps you could reassure her that you would give the cat a home if she outlives it. She's trying to be practical about that. But if she gives an older cat a home, she will be giving it so much joy. Otherwise the poor baby will be in a cage-perhaps for the rest of its life.

It's sad when we do something we later regret, but it happens to all of us. I am so sorry that Grandmother feels that guilty. I understand, but I'm sure she knows that God is holding and loving His little creature now. I hope He brings your Grandmother peace. My heart breaks thinking of someone of her age being so brokenhearted. God bless her. Please let us know what you decide!

I'm going to talk to my Grandma about adopting an older cat. I wouldn't be able to take it, but my parents would if anything happened. I'll let you all know what she says.

Ericka

Uh--Ericka and TTMom are the same person--sorry for the confusion.

TTMom/Ericka

That's fine, Ericka. Most of us have a user name and then post our real name anyway!

I really think your Grandma is going to need the love of a kitty. Just tell her that it is sometimes hard for the shelter to adopt older kitties and there is one out there that really needs her.

I had an older friend who had a kitty that passed on and she said she didn't want another kitty for the same reason as your Grandma, but we told her about an older kitty that really needed a home. His name is Rambo. When she felt that she could rescue this kitty, she was all for it. They are just as happy as can be with one another. Rambo got a home and my friend (who is shut in) got someone to love and care for. Her whole life is Rambo.

Our family has always had cats around and when my Grandma got Speckie (she just showed up on my Grandma's back step one day) we joked that Speckie was there to take care of her (my Grandpa had just died). Like your friend with Rambo, Speckie was my Grandma's life. Speckie would tell women to go home and men to stay (sounds weird, but she did). I was the only grandchild that Speckie even partially warmed up to.

I'll have my Mom go to the shelter and see if there are any older cats there (they live half the country away in a small town) and if there are she'll see if she can get Grandma to go take a look. Grandma's like me, if she sees the cat, it's got a home.

TTMom/Ericka

I talked to my Mom tonight and she said that my Grandma wouldn't go because she feels that she wouldn't have enough time left on this planet to do the cat justice. When I mentioned an older cat she said she didn't want Grandma to have to go through another loss at her age.

I can see that.

Anyhow, thanks for all the assistance. Do you guys think it would be okay to give her a book on dealing with losing a cat? I know that sometimes it can be a big help (But me? I'm a wimp. I cry when I read that stuff and my kitties are healthy and sitting in my lap.).

TTMom/Ericka

I cry when I read all the beautiful stories and poems at the top of this page. I cry every time I think of my lost animals. For some people it's cathartic; they need to cry and express their grief. Sometimes, however, especially if the person is ill, he/she just can't take anything upsetting-nothing sad, angry words, or careless acts. What is normally "blown off" can upset that person too much. Everyone is different. You and the family might be the best judge of what she can handle right now, what's helpful and what's hurtful. I wish we could have been more help.

I think giving your grandmother a book about pet loss is a fine idea. But the compassion you show for your grandmother is very strong in your post. I wonder if your heart is strong enough for you just to sit with your grandmother and ask her to tell you stories about her cat. Urge her on a little by saying "Gram remember when ____ was playing with her tail? Or bring up another incident that you remember. Your grandmother may need to find healing in the funny stories she still has on her heart, plus she needs to find her way out of the guilt she feels for signing that final paper and ending a life she cherished. If your heart is strong enough to take that journey with her, than please consider doing so-