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Would someone like to bake me a cake with a file it it?

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
Just returned from seeing Mike's mom. When I sat down next to her bed, she grabbed me and her grip was so intense, then she started crying and said she knows I am out of prison for just a short visit and she is so glad I chose to come and see her!

Mike asked her why she thought I was in prison, and in a dramatic whisper, she said "Ever since Mary Anne's book came out about Federal Government Corruption and drug use, they came and took her in the middle of the night out of bed and threw her in prison. They didn't even give her a trial! Don't you know your own wife's story Michael?"

She was yelling by the end of her speech.

I swear, I hope everyone here grows old gracefully. If I had the power and I could grant one wish to all of you, it would be that. How tragically sad to be trapped in a mind and unable to get out and see reality. I feel so bad for her, but quite literally nothing can be done. She is on constant watch, and they have had to nail her window shut because she keeps getting out of bed and trying to escape. They even have put an alarm on her bed so they know when she tries to get up.

Well, the warden is here, so I better go- exercise yard is open in a few minutes.
post #2 of 19
I've said it before, but I'll say it again. I'm so sorry you are going thru this, Hissy. Its a terrible thing to have to cope with.
post #3 of 19
Oh Hissy, I am sorry - it can be so distressing can't it

My hubby's Nan is in a residential home and keeps escaping (they haven't got very good locks on the front door) and they've now said they want her to live somewhere else coz they can't handle her disappearing. It's proving to be nightmare trying to find another home to take her. She can't really recognise her family and is always talking about her three sons (Martin's Dad and uncles) as though they were little boys. Plus she thinks half her family is still alive, even though they passed away years and years ago.

Oh well, I really hope I never get to that stage
post #4 of 19
My Aunt Flo has Parkinson's Disease. She is in a nursing home and sometimes she knows me and sometimes she doesn't. She does know that I belong to her though. It is hard to visit her, because sometimes she is in reality and other times she wants to know why her deceased husband doesn't come to see her. Telling her that he died is like telling her for the first time that she lost her husband. You just don't know what to do. Do you play along and pretend Uncle is not dead or do you tell her and have her burst into tears? If you play along with her, how do you explain why he hasn't come to see her? It's a big problem. Other times she is right there with you.

I told my sister that if I ever get like that to drop me off in the back 40 (we have 40 acres of forest land) and leave me with a box of crackers. What will happen, will happen.
post #5 of 19
Originally posted by Nora
Do you play along and pretend Uncle is not dead or do you tell her and have her burst into tears? If you play along with her, how do you explain why he hasn't come to see her?
My dad used to work with people who had various diseases like this and he always says the best way to deal with it is to go along with the fact that she thinks he's still alive (to avoid her getting so upset) and just make up an excuse for him (or tell her that he visited a couple of days ago and she must have forgotten)

It works for Martin's Nan - she's quite happy when we tell her he'll be back to see her soon.
post #6 of 19
Oh - Hissy I know what you are going thru. My father was disgnoes with severe dimensia- not Alzheimers. Before they put him on meds - he though my mother was his sister, his 2nd daughter, he hardly recognized me, etc. etc. etc. Initailly they had to tie him to the bed and later they put on that ankle braclet that they use for housebound criminals in the hospital so he would not escape - he even though my mother had him put in jail.

What really works for him is drug called Rispertol (sp?) - it took about 6 weeks for his sytem to take hold of it but what a hugh and I mean hugh difference in the man. He is home and doing very well.

If this drug is not part of her regime - you might want to ask her doctor about it and if it is something they might consider for her.

Best of luck

post #7 of 19
Hissy I know what you are going through,this is Ted's mom! And we are on the way down to talk about a new care plan.God bless you and Mike,and his mom.Sometimes I think it would be better for her to just go.She is so unhappy.Hang in there babe!
post #8 of 19
post #9 of 19
Oh Hissy I'm so sorry! I too agree to just play along. Sometimes my grandmother and I would "conspire" against my Mom who was caring for her. If grandma didn't want to get dressed I would tell her my mom didn't think she could dress herself anyway. She would get "riled up" and say Oh yeah! and be dressed in a flash. We would both laugh at the look on my mom's face when she came back to dress grams. It was like playing a game with us, she died in her sleep at my mom's house. At least we were able to keep her home, she wasn't too difficult as long as the soaps were on! LOL It's been 6 years and we still miss her.
post #10 of 19
Hissy, I'm sorry you have to go thru this. My husband works in geriatrics, and some of the stuff he tells me is hard to believe. I pray that that doesn't happen to me. A friend of mine tried to keep her mother with her till the end, but it didn't work. Her mother decided to fry some eggs, forgot what she was doing and left the house. Result: burned-out kitchen. Then she didn't recognize her son-in-law of almost 30 years and attacked him with a fireplace poker, injuring him badly. She was convinced he was a burglar. Dementia and Alzheimer's are horrible fates. It is very difficult for the families to watch a loved one disintegrate mentally.
post #11 of 19
Hey Hissy how's about an autographed copy of that book? If it makes your life this exciting it is a must read oppertunity.
post #12 of 19
sometimes you just have to laugh at life to keep from crying.
post #13 of 19
Is this text real life, Is Hissy in Jail or is it a story you have me confused and worried

post #14 of 19
Don't worry she is home safe and sound - she is not a jail bird
post #15 of 19
Originally posted by WellingtonCats
Is this text real life, Is Hissy in Jail or is it a story you have me confused and worried

Maybe Sam needs some of that Alzheimer's medicine. I've heard that its been striking younger and younger people.
post #16 of 19
We have got to give Sam a break. Her grandparents are probably still in there 50s.
post #17 of 19
HAHA My Grandad turned 50 this year , I was starting to think wow we have a member in jail , I was scared .. Thanks for clearing that one up..
post #18 of 19
My mother was in a nursing/rehab center for a year after a stroke.
She was already pretty batty before it happened, and got much worse afterwards, with hallucinations etc. They had her on a very strong med for that but it barely dented the surface.

One day I go to see her, and she says to me "you will never guess what happened! Your mother got married." I thought she was starting to tell me a joke that some old codger at the home had proposed to her, when she calmly explained to me that she had married her night-time nursing attendant, who she basically would see only at breakfast since she was asleep the rest of the time. She told me that he picked her up with a taxi at the corner of the block where the nursing home was, along with his three children from his first marriage, and that they went down to city hall and got married. Her story was totally believable, except for the fact that she was 80 years old, and that he was a 30 year old Indian immigrant with a wife and 3 little kids!

Then she says to me that she was extremely concetrned abt the fact that he was already married, because this would possibly leave her at the risk of being charged with bigamy! So she tells me that she wanted to annull the marriage and that I had to find out how to do that.

The poor guy was having a fit, since he was afraid the place would think he was egging her on, which they were sure he wasn't doing.
He had already made several reports to his supervisor abt things she was saying to him.

They eventually had to move him offf of the floor. And she kept asking me abt the annullment, so finally, I had a family friend who is a retired attorney write her a letter telling her that only the guy would have to be worried abt a bigamy charge, since she herself was a widow. She accepted that and for awhile there was no further talk of the husband. Because she no longer saw him in the AM, she decided that the home at fired him.

Then out of the blue a few months later, she tells me that I need to take $$ out of the bank because she wanted to send it to him, so he could send his children to parochial school. I told her 'no' and also said that I didn't know how to reach him anyway. To which she says 'then how did you send him his copy of the letter abt the annullment.?'

She isn't in the nursing home anymore but she still believes she married this guy! She just doesn't talk abt it because she knows no one believes her!
post #19 of 19
Thread Starter 
Don't worry Sam- I am not in prison.

Mom also thinks I am Sacagewea, and I don't even have dark hair! She also believes I am Amelia Earheart and my husband works in Russia for the Spatze (spelling) She is getting ready to wed the 19 year old intern that works there- except there is no 19 year old male intern working there. She is trapped in her mind, held hostage with this horrible disease that is eating her brain.
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