Baby shower....?

I have a friend that is adopting an older child (9 years old, not a baby). Do people have showers for parents that are adopting? What's the custom or etiquette of all of this? Thanks!

Originally Posted by caprice

I have a friend that is adopting an older child (9 years old, not a baby). Do people have showers for parents that are adopting? What's the custom or etiquette of all of this?

Thanks!

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Well, I don't know about the etiquette of an actual baby shower but how about a homecoming party, or welcome home party? I don't think that would sound like an actual shower, but it would give the child a chance to meet family and family friends that will part of his/her life. I think that would be great!

And congrats to your friend on her new child (do we have a name???)

Originally Posted by calico2222

Well, I don't know about the etiquette of an actual baby shower but how about a homecoming party, or welcome home party? I don't think that would sound like an actual shower, but it would give the child a chance to meet family and family friends that will part of his/her life. I think that would be great!

And congrats to your friend on her new child (do we have a name???)

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I agree this sounds like a great idea! Or even if you just make it a casual get together or bbq or something of the sorts just to make the child feel at home and part of the family! But dont forget to try to invite some kids of his/her own age so that when they get bored with the family they can play together!

Lots of families I know (including me) have adopted children. We have had welcome home or welcome to the family parties. It is a great chance for them to meet everyone. It is also nice for the child to feel welcomed.

I think it would be appropriate to have some kind of party to welcome the new family member to the household.

Im not sure if its typical to give gifts or not? But the child may not have many of his own belongings - clothing, toys, bike, etc... so I dont think it would be innapropriate to get him some kind of "welcome" gift if you wanted.

Originally Posted by nekkiddoglady

I think it would be appropriate to have some kind of party to welcome the new family member to the household.

Im not sure if its typical to give gifts or not? But the child may not have many of his own belongings - clothing, toys, bike, etc... so I dont think it would be innapropriate to get him some kind of "welcome" gift if you wanted.

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Thats a great idea! I'm guessing your friend is going though an agency and they will have a list of things he/she already has. Giving gifts to him/her that are ONLY from the new family is a wonderful idea.

I think a welcome home party or gathering is a great idea. A number of my friends have adopted and we've thrown showers if they adopt little ones, but had welcome parties otherwise.

I think a 'welcome home' party would be nice, but it would depend on the child...

For some children just coming to a new home could be overwhelming, not to mention having to meet a ton of people immediately thereafter!

Presents from the family would make them happy though, I'm sure, but being adopted is probably the present they always wanted... 9 is old enough to know that babies get adopted first.

Originally Posted by Forensic

I think a 'welcome home' party would be nice, but it would depend on the child...

For some children just coming to a new home could be overwhelming, not to mention having to meet a ton of people immediately thereafter!

Presents from the family would make them happy though, I'm sure, but being adopted is probably the present they always wanted... 9 is old enough to know that babies get adopted first.

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That is exactly what I was thinking. I know as a child I was terribly shy (though I was not adopted) and it would have been too much for me; depending on the personality of the family and number of people. If the child tends to be shy; I'd say an informal gathering maybe on the smallish side would work. I think it depends on the family and friends who would be attending though. I think it would be a great way to make the child feel welcome and like a part of the family!

Is this a domestic or foreign adoption? Our DD came to us from Bulgaria at age 4 1/2, and didn't know a word of English. She was like a scared little rabbit the first couple of weeks, as my knowledge of the Bulgarian language was somewhat limited. A party would have over-whelmed her.
If it's a domestic adoption, I think a small family get-together, after the child has some time to get used to the new environmnet, is an excellent idea.
As for gifts, a small item just for the child would be nice.