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Waiting for tears. :-S

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
My Great-Aunt passed away this morning. It wasn't unexpected at all. We've been waiting for it since last week. She had a major heart attack about 4 years ago I think and had been battling congestive heart failure ever since. She'd also been in a nursing home ever since. Sometime last week she asked another one of my Great-Aunt's and Cousins, who had gone to visit her, if it was OK if she died. The treatment to keep the fluid out of her body wasn't helping very much anymore and she was just ready to go. She was in her early 80's. Of course my Great-Aunt and Cousin said it was OK with them for her to go. She'd been hospitalized for her treatment; so she was sent back to the nursing home and just made comfortable. She was able to call my Grandmother (her sister) and a lot of her family members and tell them goodbye and she had something special to say to each person.

My Great Aunt was a fantastic woman. She ran so many programs over the years; especially ones for children. Her favorite time of the year was when she ran a summer day program for the inner city kids in the town where she grew up. When she had her heart attack; so many people were trying to see her at the hospital that they had to have her room guarded! And from what I was told; the phones were going crazy with people trying to see how she was and talk to her! Imagine having that kind of impact on your community! When I was a little girl she had no trouble playing with me. She had an infectious laugh and smile. I'm going to miss her terribly; but I'm really at peace with her decision. I'm glad she's not suffering any longer.

I was supposed to go grocery shopping about now; but I think I'll put that off till tomorrow. I keep getting the urge to cry; but it goes away before any tears actually come. I'm afraid I'll break down in the cereal isle like some crazy woman. I kind of wish it would just come out; but I guess they will come when they are ready!
post #2 of 12
I am so sorry. Your great aunt sounds like a remarkable person who will be missed by many.

The tears will come when it's right for you. Everyone grieves in their own way.

for you and your family.
post #3 of 12
I'm very sorry
post #4 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by KittiesHasMe View Post
I am so sorry. Your great aunt sounds like a remarkable person who will be missed by many.

The tears will come when it's right for you. Everyone grieves in their own way.

for you and your family.
Ditto!

My Mom died in February 1978, and I cried and cried. My Dad died 9 months later and I was sad, but I was so numb that I couldn't cry.

about 6 or 7 years ago I went to an Uncle's funeral. My Dad's oldest brother. I was sitting in the funeral home crying. I was crying so badly that I had to leave and go to the washroom. I realized then that I wasn't crying for my Uncle: I was crying for my Dad. It took over 20 years, but the tears did come.
post #5 of 12
I understand, and I'm so very sorry for your loss. I lost my favorite aunt last February; I think of her every day and some days I still cry over losing her.

When my Dad died back in 1993 I went numb. I knew I had to be strong for my Mom and my younger sister and my favorite aunt (the one who passed last year). I was a rock. Then, 2 weeks after the funeral, I was home alone and came across the end of the movie "Field of Dreams". (you know the part I mean---when Ray gets a second chance to play ball with his Dad) I'm just glad I was alone at the time, as every bit of grief I'd been holding in came out in a flood.

The tears will come when you're ready; don't beat yourself up for not breaking down immediately. Your aunt sounds like an amazing woman, and I'm sure you'll miss her terrribly.
post #6 of 12
Oh Honey, your great-aunt sounds like she was a wonderful, loving, caring person. How you deal with it is up to you. There is no right or wrong way. I really wish I had a secret recipe or something to give to you, but a lot of it just has to be dealt with inside your own heart. It may take time for the tears to come....months or years. But, they will come, and we will be here to help you through it.
post #7 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by calico2222 View Post
Oh Honey, your great-aunt sounds like she was a wonderful, loving, caring person. How you deal with it is up to you. There is no right or wrong way. I really wish I had a secret recipe or something to give to you, but a lot of it just has to be dealt with inside your own heart. It may take time for the tears to come....months or years. But, they will come, and we will be here to help you through it.
post #8 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by KittiesHasMe View Post

The tears will come when it's right for you. Everyone grieves in their own way.


There were times when I lost a loved one, and didn't cry right away b/c I guess I was in shock and I just wasn't prepared for it. But when the tears came, they came in a flood. When you're ready to grieve, it'll happen. Your body knows what's best.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Your aunt sounds like a wonderful lady. May she RIP.
post #9 of 12
I'm so sorry for your loss.
post #10 of 12
I am sorry. Your great aunt sounded like such a wonderful, caring person. What wonderful memories she left behind to not only her family, but to the community. Your tears will come when its the right time. You may be numb right now. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
post #11 of 12
So sorry to hear of your loss, Leighann. You have wonderful memories.
post #12 of 12
Thread Starter 
Thanks guys. I do have so many memories I've been going over in my mind.
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