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Elderly cat's owner died-needs new home - Page 2

post #31 of 40
Originally Posted by white cat lover View Post
Truthfully - if she is that miserable at your house - it's unfair to put her in any shelter (kill or no-kill). Give her more time - several months. If she doesn't adjust, IMO, it is kinder to euthanize her yourself than put her in a shelter (as realistically - no one is going to adopt her).
I hate the idea of putting a cat down, but I have to agree that it is better than a shelter for her. Older cat's do not adjust well to change especially losing the person she always counted on. I have see a couple of times when senior cats come to the shelter and just give up. They usually do not live very long after arrival. It's just too hard on them. She may have a hard time adjusting to your home, but a shelter would be even harder.

That being said I agree with others that she needs more time. I guess too I think that it's important to check what you are thinking & feeling while interacting with her. Animals can read so much through body language and tone of voice. Things that humans might never notice. Perhaps you are giving off a nervous vibe or if you are feeling sorry for her she is feeling sorry for herself. I know it's hard but spend time focusing on your emotions & get in the right place before going in the room with her. As others have said just sitting still or relaxing in the room with her may help.

Sending lots of vibes for improvement.
post #32 of 40
Thread Starter 
I made a trip to PetSmart yesterday to buy food for my Dusty. I stopped at Banfield, since that is Ashley's vet, and asked the lady at the counter that I had a few questions about Ashley. She immediately got Ashley's vet to come out to speak to me. I learned that Ashley was always a "problem patient" and they had to sedate her everytime John brought her in. They also said that she was very loyal to John, and he could always handle her without a problem. Dr. Olsen, the vet suggested that I leave her door open so she could roam around the house and become familiar with the smells and sounds. She also suggested a Felaway diffuser, which I bought and plugged in last night. She was so pleased that I had Ashley, since they've all been worried about her, and what would become of her since John's death.

This morning I took her advice and opened the door. Ashley has been roaming around the house, and Dusty didn't even notice her when she was in the same room! Dusty was lying on the sofa and Ashley was walking around and stopped to see the TV. The vet also said that cats will make friends with their own species faster than they will do with people. I didn't know that, but since Dusty has seen her face to face and doesn't act aggresively, hopefully that part of the problem with work itself out.

I'm willing to give it more time. In the meantime Ashley has her "territory" and can go back to hiding under the comforter any time she wants.
post #33 of 40
Well that certainly sounds like progress. At least if she has free roam of the house you can feel better about her having extra space. My guess is she will learn to enjoy your home with time. She may never be best friends with you, but at least she can enjoy her time if she can curl up on a warm chair or in the sun somewhere. Bless you for giving her the time she needs to grieve.
post #34 of 40
Thread Starter 
After her stroll around the house, she's back under the comforter in her room. Oh well, at least she knows she's not in prison anymore!
post #35 of 40
Originally Posted by Dusty's Mom View Post
After her stroll around the house, she's back under the comforter in her room. Oh well, at least she knows she's not in prison anymore!
Or maybe she just enjoys laying under the comforter?? I doubt she would stay there if she didn't like it or feel comfortable. My Jordan went though a phase of sleeping on the toilet seat. I always thought it was strange as I have cat beds all over the appartment & the cats are allowed to sleep where every the want. So that was where he wanted to be , maybe she likes it under the comforter.
post #36 of 40
Encouragement for you...

I adopted a semi feral straight from the shelter. When he first arrived,
he hissed and hid under the bed and never came out.

After 3 months of leaving him be, he began to emmerge for food.
At month 4 he would eat in my presence, but not too near me...

At month 5 we deemed him ready to go outside. Out he went,
as we waited for him to disappear. He did NOTHING of the kind.
He slowly investigagted the area - over many days.

He came in when I left the door open and walked away... but did
not come when called.

Month 6 we had huge breaktrhough. I got to pet him! No hissing.
This was outside. After that, I could do it inside AND pick him up.

Now, almost 12 months after getting him, he comes when called, uses
the pet door (only when he MUST), asks for food, allows pets, plays with me with string toys... and sometimes comes for affection on my lap. BF is also allowed to pet. He still hides when strangers visit, but he is getting much
better about that too! I can handle him for vet visits mostly (if he isn't injured) and that's pretty damned good for a cat that was going to be PTS as a "feral" cat!!!

Give your cat many months and slowly allow her to come around. You will find she slowly comes out of that shell. Either way your place is soo much
better than being in shelter or being PTS!!

Patience, lots of food bribes, some play time with a string toy, cat nip
and some feliway will go long way with this poor kitty...
post #37 of 40
Any updates on Ashley? I have a formerly abused cat in our computer room closet. She was like Ashley for a long time, several months or so - then I got the idea to change her name from Makita? (it was something that sounded like the tool company or possibly Russian) to Jackie (for Jackie Kennedy-Onassis). I'd call her softly when I'd put the food out, and when she heard "Jackie" her meow changed from a warning caterwaul to a soft meow. She'd respond, very quietly, "meow" to "jaq-eee". She comes out sometimes to be petted, comes out like a hornet to attack the other cats, but other than that, just hangs out in her closet. I gave her a nice bed in there & she seems content. Once in awhile, she'll climb onto the lap of whoever's on the computer.
Jackie's owner passed away, also, and she was sent to the pound and then adopted by a family with a mean boy We bought the house from the family; they moved away & left the cat. I didn't know the cat was in there until I was cleaning up and noticed fresh turds in a cat box - there was no water or food So I put out food & water & in the morning it was gone, so I knew I had a ghost cat on my hands
Sending major prayers and vibes that Ashley comes around soon
And bless you for taking her in - I am sure that her owner John is sending thanks from over RB
post #38 of 40
Thread Starter 
I've decided to put Ashley down. I've talked to John's daughter, and she agrees it is probably the best thing. We know that she is not adoptable.

Here's the deal. My kitty Dusty has been diagnosed with early CRF. Dusty is a picky eater, won't eat the special diet food, and won't eat much of anything unless she feels comfortable. Ashley steals her food and is upsetting her to the point that she hasn't been eating much at all the past couple of weeks. She is already skinny and can't aford to lose any more weight.

Ashley is not socializing. I still can't get near her without hissing, growling and swiping at me. I don't see this changing in such an old cat. Ashley is also arthritic and walks like a rat, so I think she may be in pain.

I'm waiting to hear back from Kristi if she wants her cremated or not.

I think I gave it my best shot, but I can't risk my kitty's health, since she is our first priority.
post #39 of 40
Well, and you gave her time to adjust - and given her age, etc - especially if she is getting arthritic on top of it - I think euthanizing her is probably kindest.
post #40 of 40
Thread Starter 
Thank you WCL. I wish it could have worked out better, but because of my kitty's health, I think it is the best for all concerned.
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