Elderly cat's owner died-needs new home

I'm afraid I'm halfway across the country - I wish you luck in finding her a home.

I know.....I'd jump on a 16 y/o white kitty if she was closer!

I live in Southern California, hours away. And I'm pretty sure my SO would say no as well.

For kitty to be rehomed!

awww i wish i lived in on the west coast! i'd keep her poor thing. good luck

Sending prayers and vibes that the white kitty finds a good home
Bless you for giving her sanctuary - poor thing, she must feel so lost with her owner over RB Bridge

You're too funny!

Give her lots of time, love, & attention. Her entire world has been turned upside down - it will likely take her months to adjust.

It may take months, but she WILL come round. My semi feral that I rescued took 3 months to come out from under bed and stop hissing at me. at 4months he would stay out in the room with me, at 5 months he let me pet him OUTSIDE and at 6 months, he actively solicits petting AND allows me to pick him up. Also he comes when called now, and goes in and out of doors like a pro. This semi feral had an outdoor life, with a caretaker he loved who had petted him from kitten hood, and I was sure he'd NEVER trust me.

It just took him time to transfer his affection and trust to me. But he did.
Your cat will too, but it will take many months. Please do NOT despair that the cat will hate for life. She just needs to adjust to you. Keep feeding, bribing, bring toys, play with a toy wand/string. Catnip and your scented shirt next to food bowls. Go and read to her daily. Then leave her to emerge at her own pace...

We had a relative pass away last year who had a cat that had lived with her practically all its life. My uncle took the cat in and it took 2-3 months for it to come out from under the bed in the room where he kept it!

I'd say the cat's about 12 years old and it eagerly comes up for lap time now. There are 2 other cats in the house - one about the same age and one much younger and it seems to tolerate them both.

I'm sure with your continued patience, love and encouragement, she'll be just fine

My opinion would be to NOT reach under the comforter and NOT try to pet her. Nothing looks normal to her and nothing has her smells on it.

Go in the room and spend time with her on the floor. You are much more frightening when you are tall.

Don't look at her and don't acknowledge her. Let her be. Read, work on a computer, sing (softly),
work a puzzle, etc.

Leave a treat on the floor where you (and now your scent) were sitting.

Use a wand toy to entice her. Again do not try to touch her.

Try to keep a schedule because you know how much they depend on routine.

Leave a dirty shirt that you have worn next to her food dish.

Use a Feliway plug-in. Maybe try Rescue Remedy in the water.

She will do better in one room now. It will help her to feel safe and the room will start to smell like her.

Give her time, lots and lots of time.

Expect nothing from her. Let her come to you. That will earn her trust.

Not a good example, but imagine if you were two years old and taken to another country. You can't understand the language, nothing smells like your room or family, you are confused and scared, you want your mommie and don't know where she is or why she left you there. THEN a stranger trys to touch you and hold you! You don't know if these strange people are going to hurt you. You don't understand.

In time she will understand and see that you are bringing her food and not trying to harm her.

Where ever she goes, the caretaker will need to give her patience to adjust on HER terms.

So glad you have her and I am sure she will feel better.

I would just let her be - she will become comfortable with you in time. Maybe look into getting a Feliway diffuser going.

Stress is hard enough on younger cats...she probably feels better to be left alone...for the time being....and it will probably be better for her health if she isn't pushed into accepting things so soon....

If you take her to a shelter, unless it's no-kill, she is likely to be euth'd. I don't know what you've been doing for her to help her adjust. Here are some suggestions.

Sit in the room on the floor and do tasks like folding laundry or working on a laptop; talk to her or read to her while you are doing this; bribe with treats if she will take them; get a Feliway plug in ... or search for details on Bach's Rescue Remedies here or online - these may help calm her and help her feel less nervous. It may take a couple of months for her to get over this shock. Please be patient.

Truthfully - if she is that miserable at your house - it's unfair to put her in any shelter (kill or no-kill). Give her more time - several months. If she doesn't adjust, IMO, it is kinder to euthanize her yourself than put her in a shelter (as realistically - no one is going to adopt her).

First, I think you are wonderful to have taken her in. We have three cats, and like mews2much & Going Nova, my husband would kill me if I took in another. (I often worry about what would happen to mine if something happened to me).

Anyway, I believe you are on the right track when you visit the room and just do stuff and ignore her. Were you able to bring anything from her former home to sit in the room with her, i.e. toys, blanket, etc.?

This is probably going to take time - I hope this story ends happily for both you and Ashley.