I love to write, but I can't sit and write on demand. I have to be in the right mood.
I've nearly been published twice. The first time was back in the late 1980's. I had entered a short story into a contest hoping to win the top prize which I think was either $1,000 or $5,000. It was the first time I ever let anyone read anything I wrote.
I didn't win, but I did get a letter back from the Publisher saying that they liked my story and wanted to know if I could expand it into a novel. They were prepared to offer me an advance any everything.
I gave it some serious thought, but in the end I didn't go through with it because at the time I was very shy about my writing and didn't think I was any good at it. And I had this horrid fear that it would be a flop and horridly criticized etc. etc.
The next time was in 2002. I wrote a short story and submitted it to a publisher. They were interested in publishing it as part of a short story collection. Again, after giving it second and third thoughts, the same fears crept through.
The problem is that when I write, while I write fiction, I tend to position myself into the first person perspective for each of my characters and I write from the heart as though what is happening to them, is happening to me. Thus I get too close to the characters and the story and it feels like it's too personal to share.
I let a patient who was a retired creative writing professor, read it. He absolutely loved it. He said that if it was a paper I had submitted in his class it was definitely an A+ paper. That made me feel good. He encouraged me to go ahead and have it published and persue a career in writing.
I never did
I ended up getting side tracked in a bad relationship which lead to mild depression. It was all I could do to get out of bed and go to work. And then about a year and a half later I ended up off work sick.
I have dabbled with writing since, but not seriously. Haven't finished a short story.
I also have several poems that I have written. However, for me poetry is therapeutic and I only tend to write when I'm very down and blue. I haven't felt like that in many years, since my parents died. So I haven't written any poetry in decades.