cat lonely? / grieving?-what to do

One of a pair of 18 year old, lifetime indoor, spayed, female cats died a week ago. They were sisters and spent their whole life together. The one who died was mellow, submissive, and slept a lot. The one left is more dominant, active, curious, sociable, etc. (This might be too much info. I included it in case it might be helpful somehow.)

The surviving one is showing signs of being upset-not eating as much, some weight loss, meowing down an empty hall, looking for her sister, etc. THis cat is usually unhappy unless she's in her owner's lap. She seems to rely on this attention.

We've considered getting another cat to keep her company but have decided not to. It would take away some of the attention she seems to rely on. She also has never known another cat besides her sister.

* Does anyone have any advice on what to do for this cat?
* Does she just need to deal with this loss in her way-like we're doing?
* She's probably going to be ok, right?

Thanks.

First of all, what is your girls name?

Many cats grieve for their companions just like we humans do. And every cat goes thru their grief process in their own way. I have seen cats work thru their grief almost immediately, and others that are depressed for months. Yes, she will get over this in her own time.

As strange as this might sound, talk to your surviving cat and explain what happened to her. Let her know that you are as torn up about it as she is. It will help both you and her sister to do this.

You aren't a cat therefore can't take over the cat bond that she had with her sister. The best you can do is to give her all the love and attention she can handle, and to make sure that she is loved even more than ever. Give her whatever she wants right now.

If you change your mind about adopting another cat, I recommend doing 1 of 2 things. Either adopt an older cat that is very mellow and won't threaten the sister in any way at all. They may never interact directly, but they will be aware of each other. If you really want a kitten, adopt a pair of littermates that will run each other ragged and not bother the sister. The sister may be distracted by the kittens enough to heal her grief. I have done this and it has brought my oldster out of their shell. The worst thing you could do is to adopt a single young cat that wants to play with her. She'll most likely hate it.

Originally Posted by dmh

* Does anyone have any advice on what to do for this cat?
* Does she just need to deal with this loss in her way-like we're doing?
* She's probably going to be ok, right?

Click to expand...

She will be ok. And yes, she needs to grieve the loss just like you are.

We had to put Nabu's litter mate, Raven , to sleep a year ago December. They were both 10 1/2 yrs old at the time. Nabu grieved the loss along with us. I fed him whatever he wanted to eat in the weeks after--he didn't want to eat much. So he got Fancy Feast Medleys for meals until his appetite was back to normal. He got extra hugs and was more clingy than usual (he's usually a pretty clingy cat anyway). Being that it was just 10 days before Christmas, I kind of went nuts with the Christmas cat toy shopping. We had some new cat toys for all of us to play with together.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I have gone through this with my dogs. I had two litter mates that were all each other had ever known. One died suddenly and her sister grieved. It was so sad to watch, but I knew that with us (and with our fur babies) that the grieving process had to take place in order to heal.

What helped ours the most was to keep the routine as normal as possible.

We took the food bowls up after "Pooh" died and her sister "Prissy" got so confused at mealtime that we put it back out. She had a habit of running to the other bowl to check for leftovers. It wasn't so much about her litter mate then, but the bowl that she always checked.

Long way to say that she may miss some of the routines. It will get better. She needs time, just like you. I am so sorry for your loss.

I'd let her grieve and provide as much support as possible, but I would not get another cat simply because I think at age 18, that would be too much stress for her. She's turned to her humans with whom she has a bond, and you should just enrich her life as much as possible.