We all have our personal experiences, and we form our opinions from them. There's nothing wrong with that; in fact it is good and honest.
BUT it's a different matter when we impose our
experiences and our
opinions on others as if it's the right thing for them, too. That is wrong because we absolutely do not know their situation unless we are the ones living it. Reading an article that a journalist wrote does not give us a complete picture of the people and their lives and circumstances. Who are we to judge what we do not know?
Originally Posted by Snake_Lady
Let me clarify my stance.
I do not believe that women above the age of 45-50 should be having IVF.
There's medical reasons why dr's do not recommend IVF after 50....
...My main issue is the IVF at 60. Not so much with the age of the woman, if she had gotten pregnant with no help, although I do have some reservations... but more with the act of IVF which can produce multiple babies as it did in this case, and the risks that involves for mom, for the children, etc.
The problem here is, who gets to decide what age IVF is okay and what age it is not? Who do we want to have that kind of power?
If the IVF cutoff age is 50, does that mean a 49-year-old woman who is not in the best of health and who spent every penny she has for IVF gets to have a baby, while a healthy 51-year-old who is financially stable cannot? Again, if it's not the women who get to decide, who does
get the power to decide for them?
Pregnancy is always risky, but it has to be the individual woman who decides if she is willing to take that risk for herself and her child(ren). No one else has the right to decide for her!
Originally Posted by RubSluts'Mommy
...Yes, that is my opinion... I know not everyone feels that way... but being a child of older parents, I see what these children will have to deal with. Dealing with aging parents at a young age is tough... something these boys of her shouldn't have to go through.
You said earlier that your mother was a "hands-off" parent, and you attribute that to her age. You are probably absolutely correct, I don't know your situation and hers, but I do know that there are many, many hands-off parents in any age group. Is it possible that's your mother's parenting style? Is it possible that would have been her parenting style if she had you 10 or 20 years earlier?
Originally Posted by RubSluts'Mommy
...If I get to 40 and decide, all of a sudden, that I do want to share my life with a kid, I'll adopt. I'm 36 now... I have no desire to produce offspring. I realized, mostly after my own childhood, that if I were to have kids, I wanted to be young enough and fit enough to get down on my hands and knees and play/bond/help my child grow. Not sit back and watch them....
This is a flawed argument. If a person isn't "young enough and fit enough to get down on my hands and knees and play/bond/help my child grow" then the person isn't going to be able to do that with an adopted child, either.
I don't know if the parents in the article are going to be good parents. They might be terrible and the whole thing is a huge mistake and the children will suffer. But, maybe not. Maybe the kids will be happy and loved. We just don't know and can't pass judgment based on our own experiences.
I hesitate to pull up this card again, but it is very applicable here... My mother had me when she was in her late 20's, my parents were financially secure; in fact they were/are "pillars of the community." What a perfect setting to have a family, right? Wrong. My siblings and I were not only neglected, but we were emotionally abused, and violently and brutally physically abused. I have physical problems that are a direct result from the abuse.
Frankly, from where I am now, I would have loved to have old parents who neglected me. That would have been preferable to the experiences I had when I was a child. Like the times I was yanked out of my bed in the middle of the night and beaten up by an enraged mother who had been fighting with my father and had no other way to vent her hate and anger.
Really, age is not a very important factor in parenting.