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Feeling guilty

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
Several years ago one of my cats became ill and I didn't realize it. Looking back I realize that I should have picked up on things that I didn't. He would lay in the closet all of the time. I just thought that it was a new hideout for him. I eventually took him to the hospital because I was worried. He didn't make it through the night. Even years later, I feel so guilty. I feel he could still be here if I only had taken him sooner. I miss him so bad. He was so sweet and lovable, and I wish so much that I could go back. I'm in tears and my heart is broken.

I guess I just needed to get it out. Thanks for listening.
post #2 of 12
my cats goto the vet somewhat often. they do backflips all the time (when playing with toys)... and they lay in the closet... not that you knew... but you cant feel guilty for something beyond your control! and just sleeping in the closet is odd but not something id think would draw a huge red flag on.

your kitties in a better place now

relax dont stress!
post #3 of 12
Thread Starter 
Its so hard not to feel guilty. I know it may have not been a huge red flag, but I should have picked up on it. There's nothing I can do about it now. It stinks to feel like this, though.
post #4 of 12
Oh how I understand how you feel. I have been there with a couple of my cats that have passed on. Cats are funny creatures and they hide it well when they don't feel good. When I look in my heart beyond any guilt feelings I have I know there wasn't anything I could have done to prolong their life without making them suffer. It just really hurts when you love something so much and you have to let them go when they are so sick.
post #5 of 12
Aww, sweetie! Please don`t blame yourself. Cats hide illness so well and sometimes they show very little signs or signs that wouldn`t warrant a vet visit. Try to remember the good times and the fun you had together
post #6 of 12
What was your kitties name? Please don't feel guilty, cats hide their pain so well.

Big for you!
post #7 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaffacake View Post
Aww, sweetie! Please don`t blame yourself. Cats hide illness so well and sometimes they show very little signs or signs that wouldn`t warrant a vet visit. Try to remember the good times and the fun you had together

Cats are notorious for hiding in closets - and hiding pain, too. Sometimes you just don't know that they're ailing till it's too late.

I once had a cat that developed a brain tumor, which I had no indication of. I didn't realize there was something wrong till I noticed an oder coming from one of his ears. By the time I took him to the vet to be checked over, there wasn't anything that could be done for him, and I had to have PTS a few weeks after noticing the ear oder b/c he lost his appetite and was losing weight and I didn't want for him to suffer. I felt just horrible about it, b/c like you, I kept thinking I should have taken him in sooner. But I realize now that I didn't take him in sooner than I did, b/c I just didn't know.

Try not to be too hard on yourself. Hindsight is always 20/20. We all have to live & learn.
post #8 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by WellingtonCats View Post
What was your kitties name? Please don't feel guilty, cats hide their pain so well.

Big for you!


Honestly, I probally would have done the same thing. BUT, after you sharing with us, it may help save someone else's kitty. So i want to THANK you for sharing that.

post #9 of 12
LovesMyCats, please don't be sad about this..Your little friend in heaven would/does not WANT you to stress over the "should have, could have" scenarios you are torturing yourself over...I have a habit of doing the same thing you are doing now, but in my case, it was over our beloved wheaton-terrier (adopted from animal shelter) dog, Ginger..In the end, I feel that she from above now loves me and is waiting for me, and tells me, when I do that that makes me so sad ("if only we had taken more tests, if only we had caught her kidney failure sooner, if only we had ended her suffering sooner, etc.."), "Hey Steph..Forget about the sad final moments on earth together, remember our HAPPY FUN WONDERFUL times, those are the ones that count, and far OUTWEIGH the sad ending of my time on earth..I'm waiting for you and want you to remember the good times, not the sad! I want you to be happy in your days on earth!"

Your friend that passed would be quite pissed off I believe for you to be in emotional pain about "hindsight"..Just a thought, take care, be gentle on you, your cat angel would want this!
post #10 of 12
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for the kind words. I know I shouldn't beat myself up, its so hard not to. Yes, they do hide their illness and pain so easily.

Abbycats, yes it does hurt so much. I'm so sorry that you had to go through it with your babies.

Linny, I do remember the great times I had with him. He had several names, such as Punkin, Boy (have no idea why we called him that one). Most of the time it was Boy. I think a lot of the reason why I felt so much hurt for you and your beloved Kitty is because he was an orange cat as well. He was a crybaby, yet so loving. He absolutely loved attention and I considered him to be my other cats 'boyfriend'. It was cute. They were always together. I'm sure her little heart was broken when he never came back.

WellingtonCats, as I said above, we called him Punkin or Boy. Mostly Boy. Thank you for the hugs.

KittKatt, I'm trying not to be hard on myself. Its so easy to get caught up in it though. I'm sorry about your baby. You did what you could.

Snake_Lady, I hope that someone doesn't have to go through what I and many others have gone through. You have to be alert to the most subtle of changes. to you too.

David's Steph, I know our furbabies want us to be happy and not sad. Like I said, its so easy to get down about it. We did have wonderful moments and I'm so thankful that God gave him to me.
post #11 of 12
It may be that some of your sadness and self-recrimination is coming from the difference in your awareness of feline behavior between then and now. Way back then, maybe you didn't watch him as closely as you would today, and you know this, so you believe his passing is your fault.

Unless you deliberately ignored your little friend - and I don't believe you did - his death IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You need to forgive yourself, ok?

I hope your heart heals soon.
post #12 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by KittKatt View Post

I once had a cat that developed a brain tumor,
How can you have a tumor in an organ you don't possess?

Seriously, I am sorry about your kitty. My parents' cat Smog had a brain tumor; they noticed when he could only walk by leaning on the wall; I wasn't home, but they said it was both cute and pathetic.
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