Breastfeeding in Public - Page 3  

Your statement is incorrect. Or, mostly incorrect:

*Twenty-five states and the Virgin Islands exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws (Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Illinois, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New York, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Washington, Wisconsin and Wyoming).

Additionally:

*Forty states, the District of Columbia and the Virgin Islands have laws with language specifically allowing women to breastfeed in any public or private location (Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont and Wyoming).

Source

I would hope that breast feeding mothers would have some kind of special dispensation, good grief, indecent exposure of a little skin while breastfeeding? That is good to know Jillian.

I'm sorry, I don't know how do to a multi-quote. *sigh*

No one *said* breastfeeding is dirty. What people have said is that they don't "want to see that" and that women should "cover up" or "go someplace private." All these statements imply that breastfeeding is a shameful and dirty act.

For me, personally, I don't care whether or not someone is uncomfortable with me nursing my child. I do, however, feel for the moms who are just getting started and who aren't as sure of themselves as I am. It's fine to not be comfortable around a breastfeeding mom... it's just the furthest thing from right to say something about it or make her feel bad for feeding her child the very best way. The breastfeeding rates in the US are abismal in part because woman, along with having little support and being fed misinformation by health care practitioners, have to deal with the rude comments and stink eyes from passersby.

We don't require moms who are bottle feeding their children to put a blanket over the child. Still, a breastfeeding mom is being "indecent" if she nurses without a cover. Why? Because of societal hangups. Both children are eating, but yet the breastfed child gets to deal with being hidden away under a blanket. Again I say... have you ever tried to eat with your head under a blanket? Try it and see how pleasant it is.

As for the women who deliberately flaunt their breasts... honestly, whatever. Chances are you see more (and worse) walking past the local Victoria's Secret store in the mall. Again, there is no such right as "the right to not be offended." If it bothers you to see a child eating, look away. No harm done.

I plan to breast feed even though I am uncomfortable with it and know the easier way is a can of powder sold on Wal-Mart shelves (some formulas contain corn syrup solids as the main ingredient, that is what human babies are suppose to be raised on ) rather than deal with the constant milk and swelling and the freezing of milk and all the challenges that could come with breast feeding. I am receiving little support for this decision to feed my baby what was intended for human babies among female friends and family (none who breast feed) but I know in my heart and common sense it is better for the baby and I can't imagine not giving my baby the best I can if I am able to breast feed. To me, it is another sacrifice of many putting my needs second, and my baby's needs first.

I think your reading too much into whats been said?. As i've said i/we know it's a natural thing to do, but for me personally i just feel uncomfortable. For those that love to go topless on beaches it doesn't bother them, but i havent got the guts to bare my chest to the world and his wife, and i'm a confident person. Does that make sense?

I think what i'm trying to say is when i see another womans boobs i don't know where to look even though i have them myself?. I remember an espisode of Sex and the City when the girls went into a sauna naked, but Charlotte wouldn't take her towel off because she was embarrassed..........That would have been me, infact it has been me because i used to wear my swimsuit in the sauna, and thank goodness it was steamy inside it
Now that's where i have to say i wouldn't be anything like that. As i said earlier, i do what i have to do if someones there and leave, but it's just because i feel awkward

Cococat,

Contrary to what you've been told, breastfeeding is much simpler than formula feeding. I PMed you with some info and included my email addy. Please email me and we'll chat some more. I don't know where you live, but I'm in Chicago (recently moved) and would be happy to support you in any way you need. If we're not close enough get together in person, when the time comes for you to bf your little one, I'll be your support person via telephone. Promise.

Not-to-worry, breast feeding mothers are exempt from all the laws that require women to cover their breasts. Well, in most* states anyway.

I still stand by what I said about being discreet. It's just courtesy. (And I do intend to breastfeed if I ever have children.)

ETA: I think all, but not all have laws about it.

This has been a really, really good thread ladies.

Yeah, I am still learning the multiple quotes too, so I'll just post a response to everything at once!

First of all, I don't think it's a "shameful or dirty act", I just think it's a private act and not one I especially want to see up close and personal. I would never be rude to someone or make a comment, if they are being discrete about it. I DID have to ask my one customer to either go to a corner booth to nurse or leave if she insisted on doing it in the middle of the dining room. Other customers were complaining, and my manager (male) just couldn't go out there and talk to her.

I completely respect women who breastfeed, and the my discomfort is my own hang up, I realize that. But, YOU have to understand that you do live in a society that may not feel comfortable with the "skin" that you are flashing. So, everyone in the restaurant should just leave or "deal with it" because your baby has to eat? How is that fair?

And, apparently, people DO have a right to be offended. Just take a look at the threads over Christmas where people weren't allowed to say "Merry Christmas" because it may offend someone.

Again, I will say I do admire you for caring for your baby and breastfeeding, but you have to realize that you don't live in a vaccuum and not covering up may actually offend some people.

I have several sarongs that I plan to use. They are large enough that I can knot it behind my neck and help keep t from slipping. That said, some babies don't want to be covered up. My best friends son would rip off anything she tried to use to cover up. Even if it was tied over her, he would find a way to get himself (and her boob) out from under it.

Those are the people that ruin it for the rest. Now, the thought behind breast feeding is a simple one. Breast feeding the the most basic, natural source of food you can provide your child. We are the ONLY mammals in nature that don't always use our own bodies to nourish our offspring. We are also the only mammals that drink the milk of other animals and continue to drink milk after being weened from our mothers.

I breastfed for 6 weeks (unfortunately my milk was not sufficiently nutritious for my daughter as I had gone off my own food). In those 6 weeks I did feed her in public but I chose to go to a private area and cover up. I did so out of respect for others but did see women just flip out their breasts and not give a care who was watching or if they were uncomfortable. Hey! It's their right isn't it?

Yes, breastfeeding is natural and nothing to be ashamed of just as urinating and defecating is natural, but the middle of a restaurant or in public is not the place to do it and other people have the right to be comfortable while dining in their favourite restaurant just as much as the child having their lunch.

If folks would be more concerned these days about respect for other people and their public actions rather than "it's my right and I'm going to do it", this would be a much nicer place to live IMO.

I couldn't agree more. Thank you.

I really don't feel that urninating and defacating is a fair comparison.

Why? It is completely natural. That is your agrument, right? Humans have done it since the beginning of time, so what's the difference?

Perfect worded Linda!

People can be horrified by someone peeing on a building, but can't be offended by breastfeeding?

It's the same, just different.

If you cannot see the difference, then I just don't know what to tell you.

I do not equate feeding a baby with genitalia and elimination. Good grief

You are absolutely right, Cindy.

Urinating is a natural, and clean act. Urine is supposed to be sterile. I think it's a fair comparison. Diabetic people need to urinate frequently, but that's no reason for them to go right then and there when they feel an urge to use restroom.

ETA: Defecating is probably not a fair comparison, it's unsanitary!

Is urine food for baby?

http://www.nizkor.org/features/fallacies/straw-man.html

I'm not sure how this fits in with breastfeeding. This thread is about the "act" of breastfeeding in public not the content of what is being breastfed. The analogy to urinating in public, defecating in public and breastfeeding in public are acts - not content, i.e., nobody is saying babies should be fed urine in or out of the public eye.

As for urine, yes it can be a lifesaver to someone in the desert if they drink their own urine so it's not all bad.

The point most of us "conservative" folks are trying to make is that there is nothing wrong with breastfeeding in public if it is done discreetly and with some class. Unfortunately there are many women out there who lack the class to do so discreetly and seem to revel in the attention they can get from whatever source they can get it. As I said above, it's a "hey, look at me, look at me" scenario where they need all the attention they can get for whatever they are lacking in other areas of their lives (no attention from spouse/bf/family or whatever). People who are comfortable in their own skin do not need the attention - good or bad.

Respect for one's own privacy and the privacy of others is something to strive for IMO.

Gotta love a strawman!

I'm truly astonished that people can somehow think it a fair comparison to put weigh breastfeeding in public vs. eliminating in public. Perhaps the easiest way to put that to rest it to say that what we're discussing here, in essence, is a mother feeding her child in public. Eating in public is legal for everone, eliminating in public is legalfor no one. The real issue is why one form of feeding a child is ok, and the other one not.

...unless done discreetly, right? Someone define discreet for me, please
(as it pertains to breastfeeding in public). Actually, why doesn't everyone take a stab at it? Chances are there will be as many variances in definition as there are people commenting. That is the issue with attaching "as long as it's done discreetly" to the end of "Ithink breastfeeding in publib is fine..."

I think it's pretty hypocritical for people to ask breastfeeding women to be considerate of other's feeling when they're obviously not extending bfing moms the same courtesy. A considerate person who is uncomfortable when coming into contact w/a bfing mom would simply look away and not pass judgement on whether or not momwas being *discreet* enough. That same considerate, yet uncomfortable person, might even make an allowance for the mom who is showing a bit more skin than he/she thinks necessary knowing that sometimes, it's HARD to get a baby latched on (and this is most true for new moms-the ones whoneed the most support!).

The same right to eat needs to be extended to breastfeeding babies (and luckily, most states have passed laws stating just that). It's fine to be uncomfortable and look away; it's NOT fine to make rude comments or give dirty looks; and it's pretty judgemental to label moms who show some skin as "attention-seekers."

And, I'm not sure who posted about asking a nursing mom to move while she was nursing her child in the dining establishment where she works, but depending on what state you live in, that may be against the law. I hope that mother and other bfing moms who dare to feed their children at your resturant know their rights.

Correct me if I'm wrong here, but from what I've read most (if not all) people were actually okay with the idea of mother feeding child in public, it's the topic of public exposure of the mother's breast that seems to be the sticking point.

On one hand, breastfeeding moms do have the right to breastfeed in public without judgement, but by that same right clients of said public place also have the right to go about thier business without being made uncomfortable by what's around them.

I think that as long as there's respect for both points of view on the part of everyone involved, there shouldn't be a problem. ITA with the posted who mentioned that in an establishment where it's required to wear a shirt, they do thier best to cover what a shirt would cover.

I think you'd find that a number of those bf'g moms are attention seekers when they show more than necessary and are insistent of their rights. I know of some who in fact have done the bf'g thing blatantly just to prove a point so I do know there are some that definitely need the attention. All new moms like the attention given them with their new babies and this is just another way to get the attention they crave.

Having rights and flaunting rights just to prove a point is in really poor taste but some folks will do it anyway just for the attention they can gain from the actions.

I would say that most normal, secure bf'g moms do not need to flaunt their rights, nor do they insist on hauling that nice titty out for everyone to see. They are quite secure in bf'g discreetly in a more private area to ensure everyone is comfortable especially in a restaurant or public place where everyone has a right to be and to be comfortable.

It all comes down to the old adage that if you want respect you first need to give respect. Respect doesn't just come automatically because one has "rights". Respect is earned and I'd wager that any bf'g mom who is feeding their child discreetly would not get dirty looks or be asked to move to another more private area.

That's exactly the way i explained it as well.

A lot of people have talked about how brazen women who "whip 'it' out" ruin breastfeeding for "discreet" nursers. I disagree completely. The more brazen women with breasts and suckling baby showing there are, the more accustomed to seeing a breast as a food delivery implement the general public will be. Also, the more brazen a few individuals are, the less likely it is that body-shy new mothers having a hard time getting a baby to latch will be the individuals who receive the rude looks and comments. Yes, "discreet" is very much subjective, and the more brazen a few people are, the broader "discreet" will seem! I think brazen mothers are very much doing a service for the mothers who'd like to be discreet.

On elimination versus breastfeeding: urine is being placed into the environment, while the milk goes into the baby. Women standing on the street expressing milk onto the side of the building would be just as bad as a man urinating onto the side of a building. But breast milk isn't waste, so urination and breastfeeding are not comparable.