Scared

x0fantasy_

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I know I've posted probably about this before, but I do need some help!

My baby girl, Khi, always hides behind the couch.
I do get the feeling shes very scared around my boyfriend and he thinks he's trying to make amends with her (she was scared of him since day one! she litteraly hates him!!!) and she just refuses.

He blocked all her hiding spots behind the couch, so she no longer can go behind there to hide, becuase he was tired of her hidding and us never seeing her..

I feel like she needs her privacy to hide somewhere, where nobody can see her and leave her be alone.

He plays with her a lot, he's trying to connect with her but she just hisses at him. SHe really really dislikes him, and we think it has to do with her (possibly) being abused in the past by a male ( shes only 11 months!).

He thinks he's helping, but I feel like he is torturing her and I keep telling him to leave her alone, and he does for a few minutes but then....he goes back at it becuase I think it bothers him that she closes her self off.

I lover her so so so much and I just want her to be happy!

She mean sso much.

Any help???

Thanks!
 

carolina

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I think you are right.... she needs to have a safe place to hide... She will only hate him more if he keeps pushing her - cats don't work that way... The more you force them, the scarier they get, and the farther away from you they go... She needs to come to him on his own terms. Tell him to just ignore her, and hang around with you, doing whatever you guys want to do. I don't get why he has a problem with her hiding from him... IMO he is being immature and selfish (sorry), and he needs to think on the kiity instead of himself for a change (sorry again).
 
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x0fantasy_

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Originally Posted by carolinalima

I think you are right.... she needs to have a safe place to hide... She will only hate him more if he keeps pushing her - cats don't work that way... The more you force them, the scarier they get, and the farther away from you they go... She needs to come to him on his own terms. Tell him to just ignore her, and hang around with you, doing whatever you guys want to do. I don't get why he has a problem with her hiding from him... IMO he is being immature and selfish (sorry), and he needs to think on the kiity instead of himself for a change (sorry again).
I appreicate your honesty
I'm trying to tell him to just let her be, and leave her alone. But once she goes behind the couch...we won't see her at all!
 

laureen227

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Originally Posted by x0fantasy_

I appreicate your honesty
I'm trying to tell him to just let her be, and leave her alone. But once she goes behind the couch...we won't see her at all!
well, try feeding her [putting her plate] on a sweaty t-shirt of his so she'll associate his scent w/good things. worth a shot!
 

skimble

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So sorry that your boyfriend is still treating your cats this way. From your posts before it seems like you have been telling him this for around 7 months now.

Your post back in June was :

" she's having problems. Problems such as hiding all of the time under the couch and then my boyfriend has to go after her and pull her by the tail. She's always laying around and i feel like shes being left out. She definatley hates my boyfriend because whenever he walks near her, she shuts away kinda like a turtle in its shell and she hisses at him a lot."


Then the next month in July your post was:

"Jellow was under the couch and my boyfriend pulled him out and he said that the minute he pulled him out Jellow started biting him "

Just my opinion, but he treated BOTH your cats this way and probably will always treat them this way and it is NOT helping your cats. It could cause other behavior problems, like the litter box problems you had.

She has reason to be afraid of him because of what you have been trying to get him to stop doing. This is NOT the way to treat any animal.

Cats NEED some place to hide that is safe (under the couch, a box, under etc.) It's their nature and he is trying to make them be different.

I am so very sorry for what you are going through. I hope you can get your babies safe before other behavior problems develop. Do you have any friends or family that could help? Best of luck to you.
 

carolina

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wow - I didn't realize his was treating BOTH of your cats this way! Ok - definitely the problem is not with the cats, and definitely, they do have a reason to hate him... Sorry, but I will be honest again: Either break up with him, or re-home your pets to somebody can treat them with the care, respect and love they deserve... But pay attention: Abusing animals raises a huge red flag in a person... Vibes to you, but sorry - none for him
 
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