My bridesmaid scheduled her wedding right before mine

goldenkitty45

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Its sad, but maybe they couldn't get another date or wanted to be married quickly now that the baby was born. But I would concentrate on YOUR wedding and forget about her wedding (are you invited?).

If you want to hear something even worse: my hubby and his ex's friends (was best friends at the time) - went to the justice of the peace the DAY before my husband's wedding to get married before they did.........and on top of that they (hubby/ex) were not invited. They found out the next day at the wedding that K and M were married the day before!
 

strange_wings

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Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45

If you want to hear something even worse: my hubby and his ex's friends (was best friends at the time) - went to the justice of the peace the DAY before my husband's wedding to get married before they did.........and on top of that they (hubby/ex) were not invited. They found out the next day at the wedding that K and M were married the day before!
Sounds like embarrassment/shame that they weren't married yet. That's why some weren't invited. Nothing meant as a slight to others.
 

twstychik

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How many of the guests will be invited to both? Regardless, having her wedding a month before yours won't steal any of your thunder. You will look stunning as will Josh and you'll have the day (and life!) of your dreams! And trust me, if she really is a friend, she's not doing it on purpose.

I unfortunately lost a friend over my wedding... and yes, it was in part my own fault but I was so hurt. We were growing somewhat distant anyway because she moved away and it was harder and harder to get together. Anyway, we had a destination wedding that was like a 7 hour drive but mind you she has family in that area. Well, after mush planning and excitement she calls me a few months before the wedding to tell me that she can't make it. DH and I even offer to pay her hotel bill and she still can't. I was crushed and it was a double whammy because my BFF was 7 months pregnant in Hawaii and couldn't fly in either.
I still had a fantastic and beautiful wedding and once I saw DH standing in the gazebo every one else fadded away anyway.
 

going nova

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Originally Posted by strange_wings

Well, I'm not going to coddle you and tell you it's alright to feel this way like everyone else is. It may be a natural reaction for many to feel jealousy, but it's a harmful emotion. Ultimately it causes problems unless you can get over it.

If your friend means a lot to you, work though it for her sake. Besides it's something you and your finance can do together, and there'll be free food.
I re-read the thread and don't see where anyone said it's alright to be jealous. I thought the majority pretty much said it's a natural reaction, but probably best to try to get past it?


FWIW, a person can express his/her opinion in a tactful manner and not necessarily "coddle" someone.


(Sorry for the thread hijack!
)
 

rosiemac

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Nat just think about it. Their wedding will be over and you still have yours to go through


It's only natural to feel a bit jealous, your only human after all


It could have been worse, she could have went to the same jewellers for her engagement/wedding ring, the same dressmaker, the same photographer.

A girl i worked with had that happen to her and it wound her up so much
To some it's a compliment that they want to use the same people, but to others it's upsetting that they can't find their own
 

sarahp

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Originally Posted by Rosiemac

A girl i worked with had that happen to her and it wound her up so much
To some it's a compliment that they want to use the same people, but to others it's upsetting that they can't find their own
I used the same venue as some friends, because as I told them "it was the most beautiful wedding I've been to, and in the perfect setting". We talked to all our friends who had gotten recently married and asked who they used and who they liked. It's not about trying to copy, it's about not trying to reinvent the wheel as they say!
 

crazyforinfo

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It's natural to feel this way especially after all the planning you have been doing. It's a very emotional time for you and not just b/c you are getting married but b/c of the time you have vested in the plans. It's not easy running back/forth and not being emotionally drained.

Consider her wedding a dress rehearsal for you. Make a long romantic weekend out of it too
 

rosiemac

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Originally Posted by sarahp

It's not about trying to copy
No, but to some it is.

The girl i worked with spent a long time choosing her dressmaker, and went out the area down to London to find a jeweller to make the rings she's always had pictured in her head, and then her now sil went to the exact same places, so i can see where she was coming from
 

sarahp

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Originally Posted by Rosiemac

No, but to some it is.

The girl i worked with spent a long time choosing her dressmaker, and went out the area down to London to find a jeweller to make the rings she's always had pictured in her head, and then her now sil went to the exact same places, so i can see where she was coming from
Ok, that's true. Some people do just want to steal the thunder. Hopefully people can tell whether it's done to be spiteful, or if it's done because they thought it was a great idea, and wanted to incorporate into their plans.
 

rosiemac

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Originally Posted by sarahp

Ok, that's true. Some people do just want to steal the thunder. Hopefully people can tell whether it's done to be spiteful, or if it's done because they thought it was a great idea, and wanted to incorporate into their plans.
I think venues are different though Sarah. It really wouldn't bother me if a friend or relative wanted their wedding at the same place like yourself did, because that shows that everyone will be comfortable and feel familiar with the place, and if it was lovely then their getting another chance to go to enjoy it again
 

februa

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Just change how you are choosing to think of this: wouldnt she do a better job of stealing your thunder by having her wedding *after* yours? Leaving her wedding more fresh in your mutual friends eyes, changing things that werent a "hit" at your wedding to make hers appear better...etc??
Sounds to me like she is doing this to NOT steal your thunder. She picked a month in advance, not a week - maybe were it not for your wedding, she'd have picked a different date, and was actually being considerate to allow a months gap during the summer wedding season.
I completely understand why she would want to get married quick if being married is important to being a parent for her and her fiancee, and given that it is now January, May is about as early as she can go without having a haphazard poorly planned event.
Use her wedding to make yours better, make yours the one people will remember from the summer.
 

emy4cats

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Originally Posted by Februa

Just change how you are choosing to think of this: wouldnt she do a better job of stealing your thunder by having her wedding *after* yours? Leaving her wedding more fresh in your mutual friends eyes, changing things that werent a "hit" at your wedding to make hers appear better...etc??
Sounds to me like she is doing this to NOT steal your thunder. She picked a month in advance, not a week - maybe were it not for your wedding, she'd have picked a different date, and was actually being considerate to allow a months gap during the summer wedding season.
I completely understand why she would want to get married quick if being married is important to being a parent for her and her fiancee, and given that it is now January, May is about as early as she can go without having a haphazard poorly planned event.
Use her wedding to make yours better, make yours the one people will remember from the summer.
That's what I was thinking. If she had planded her wedding to be shorty AFTER yours then it would seam more to me like she was trying to stealing your thunder. Your wedding will be the one that is fresh in everyone's mind.

I'm sorry you feel jealous, to be honest I probally would be too. Try not to let it bother you and be happy for your friend. Weddings are a speical time and very stressful. Think of it this way when you get really stressed out you have someone you can call who is going through the same thing as you. Your wedding won't be any less speical becasue of hers.
 

sohni

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At times I think that I will never find someone to marry - at all. It boggles my mind that brides-to-be get so wrapped up in details. If it happens for me, I plan to go as simple as possible while still making it fun for my guests.
 
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trouts mom

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Originally Posted by Sohni

At times I think that I will never find someone to marry - at all. It boggles my mind that brides-to-be get so wrapped up in details. If it happens for me, I plan to go as simple as possible while still making it fun for my guests.
Yeah before I was with Josh, I never expected to get married. I am so blessed to have found him


Your comment brings me down to earth...thank you
 

fwan

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i got married before you Nat! I stole your thunder for a whole day on tcs


Mind you when you post your pictures up your thread is going to last for months!
You are going to be stunning on your day.
I was kind of sad that even though all the girls were excited for me i couldnt share the special wedding excitement with any of them because they just didnt understand :S

It'll be okay!!
 
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trouts mom

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Originally Posted by fwan

i got married before you Nat! I stole your thunder for a whole day on tcs


Mind you when you post your pictures up your thread is going to last for months!
You are going to be stunning on your day.
I was kind of sad that even though all the girls were excited for me i couldnt share the special wedding excitement with any of them because they just didnt understand :S

It'll be okay!!
Hey, what happened!! Did you get married early? I thought your date later on? I am so out of the loop!!

CONGRATS FRAN!! I must have been MIA that week or something.
 
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