most common things you and your spouse fight about

My husband and I don't really fight either. We both just want to do whatever makes the other one happy, and I honestly think the only time we ever "argue" is about where to stop for lunch... We both want the other one to decide

We argue about messes. I like for everything to be neat and clean always and SO likes to procrastinate with doing his share.

No spouse = no fights! Yay!!!

When I was married, we fought constantly about his pathologic infidelity, go figure!

We haven't fought in awhile, ever since our house appeared, it seems. Our most common big fight was about living with his parents. I hate it, I'm not happy here, and I just want to be out and away. He, on the other hand, couldn't see my irritation with being here, and saw no real discontentment in staying until our house was finished. I'm trying to be more patient now that we only have to close, but the idiots with our house are dragging it out now!

Other than that, we dont really fight. We might have a small disagreement here and there, but we're pretty much able to talk stuff out without getting mad about it.

We argue about something about 2-3 times a year. It's usually me taking umbrage at something inconsiderate that he does. When I look back on it, I don't think he intends to be inconsiderate. We're both used to having our own way, got married very late, never lived with another person in a romantic relationship, etc., so he has some learning to do about little things. I don't think it occurs to him. Also, he's very close to his family, esp. his mom, and I've noticed that he tends to favor her a bit--I don't think he realizes that when you're married, the spouse usually comes first (he lived with his parents sometimes in his adult life, to lessen his commute to work, for example, again, he's used to living with THEM, not a spouse/girlfriend). He's learning, though--only because I argue with him over it .

It used to be money. When we met, he had a TON of debt for silly things; I am a compulsive saver, and much more money-savvy. After a few arguements about his fiscal irresponsibilty, we got the idea! He's greatly improved; I tried to set a good example for him. I think he realized that he had to grow up, and think about boring things like mortgages, etc. No more "toys". He's since paid off a lot of his debt, and I'm always in the background, reining him in a bit when he asks for advice.

We always make up, and I make a point of discussing what's wrong when the tempers cool down. (I shout; he retreats into silence when we "argue".)

He's a very good, decent man; he just has to get used to a long-term, living together situation. He's very loving and caring. If what he does is the worst thing he ever does, I can deal with it!

Originally Posted by MargeCat

Also, he's very close to his family, esp. his mom, and I've noticed that he tends to favor her a bit--I don't think he realizes that when you're married, the spouse usually comes first (he lived with his parents sometimes in his adult life, to lessen his commute to work, for example, again, he's used to living with THEM, not a spouse/girlfriend). He's learning, though--only because I argue with him over it

.

We always make up, and I make a point of discussing what's wrong when the tempers cool down. (I shout; he retreats into silence when we "argue".)

Click to expand...

He sounds just like Rob Rob seems to favor his mom a bit, sometimes seems like what she wants, she will get. She doesn't want a fence around our house, I do. Well when he heard she didn't want one, then he said he didn't anymore. But I tried to explain the spouse comes first. He will be living with me and only me, and he needs to be sure he pleases the correct person! (He told me he wants to please everyone and its hard when people want different things). He also doesn't seem to mind still living with them even though we've been married for a year, and for the last 2 years or so I've wanted out of there! She doesn't help much, because she openly tells him she doesn't want us to move out all the time, even though we'll be a whopping 200 feet or so from their house (exactly why I want a fence! She told me she plans on watching our house at all times!)

If we argue about it, and I start shouting, he'll also retreat into silence. Luckily we haven't argued about it much recently, but I still think about how much I hate living here and wished he could see it. Hopefully we'll be in our house within the next 2 weeks and it will be over. (Then we'll see how crazy his mom goes with him not being in HER house anymore)

The worst arguments we have had have been about Dottie being late to everything. I refer to her as "the late Mrs. Blanche."

But I guess after 36 years, it's too late to change her.

Originally Posted by rahma

1. Money
2. Money
3. Money
4. Money
5. did I mentioned money?

Click to expand...

Ditto. When we do fight, that's it. Money.

I tend to have problems with getting to anything on time, too - except work which I always make sure to show up early for. (because if I tried to show up on time I would be late )

Most of the arguments between DH and I stem from one thing - if you believe/understand in the MBTI I'm an INTJ and he's an ISTJ. That makes three parts that are very alike but while I'm the type that relies heavily on intuition and tend to lean more towards the future in my thinking (what if's, theories, the final product). He's sensing type - he's very cemented in "now" and the past.

Has anyone ever tried getting someone that's stuck in the present to plan things out? or consider all the possibilities of what could happen? Their eyes glaze over and they tune you out or just get confused.
Thus most arguments between DH and I are simply because of our difference there. That and silly things - him touching stuff I had perfectly organized or trying to pry him away from a game because we have something else we need to do (see the stuck in "now" problem). The other main problem, I'm blunt and very honest. It really hurts those with more tender feelings that take it seriously - including DH.

We usually have one big arguement a year. This is year it was the renovations, we were doing in the house. He was working 15 hour days. and renovating. trying to do everything himself, wouldn't take a break. He got burned out and blew up. I basically let him blow off stem, he went to bed. He felt awful the next day. I knew he was just tired. We have been married 29 1/2 yrs. You learn to just let it go. I knew he didn't mean it.

DH and I don't really fight, we argue a little and it's just about sex or money. But we get over it.

My husband and I don't have fights; we've had about four short arguments in 17 years together and each time it was a misunderstanding that we quickly talked about and straightened out.

Honestly, if we had fights I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Originally Posted by Momofmany

My DH doesn't recognize dirt until there is enough to support major agricultural life. We argue about "is it clean enough?".

Click to expand...

Are you sure your DH isn't related to mine? We finally got a cleaning lady to help out, though, so that cut out a whole lot of our arguments. Oddly, when we argue now it's usually because one of us is trying to give help or advice that the other doesn't really want.

Money - I'm very frugal (my aversion to spending money is almost a phobia) and he has a tendency to make (IMO) non-necessary purchases which irks me because I never spend anything on myself and he's always complaining that he's skint and in debt!

I have no doubt that if we were doing better financially we wouldn't have much to argue about and would have to make stuff up to disagree about, we're both quite fiery and confrontational personalities!

We 'bicker' in a well-meaning manner quite a lot, but it's more like a comedy double act than serious disagreement, each of us trying to come back with something funnier or more outrageous than the other

Oh he is also incredibly untidy and has a tendency to lose things then ask me where they are as if I should know where he left them!

We don't fight, never have. We have an occasional disagreement, but never anything that results in raised voices or saying things we regret later.

We argue all the time. There have been times when we argue more than others. We very rarely have serious fights. I can think of three or four times when we had a really serious fight. Right now we are spending a lot of time together because neither of us is working and we are going to school full time and taking many of the same courses. When you don't have any time to yourself, it seems to be easier to snap and squabble over little things.

Our whole relationship has existed through a series of hard times, job losses and terrible treatment of us by others, or serious illness and injury. We seem to be in a constant run of bad luck (or bad decisions) and it is sometimes hard to look on the bright side, that all of our hard work (for a long time I was working TWO jobs and going to school full time...) will make a difference, and one day we will have good jobs with benefits and we can buy a nice house and get more kitties.

So, since times are tough, we find little things to squabble about. We agree on most of the big things, and are pretty supportive of each other. But both of us are stressed! So we fight over things like who took a snappy tone about the breakfast, and forgetting to feed the cats at exactly the right time, or rules from video games and board games. These fights last approximately 60 seconds (for the stupider ones) to ten or twenty minutes. A few hours later, one or both of us generally realizes that we were being very stupid and goes laughing to apologize.

Not a lot except the fact I'm an indoors person and would rather be inside on TCS, reading books or playing with the kitties and he's an outdoors person.

OH and that he clicks his knuckles!! It drives me nuts!