Awkward Situation

swampwitch

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Our daughter's teacher has requested that he and I be friends on FaceBook. This is very awkward for me; I have only five very good friends on FaceBook, and I don't particularly want our daughter's teacher accessing our friend and family pictures.

I only know him from saying hello at the school and from the usual parent/teacher meetings. I know some people add everyone they know to their account...

Do I add him anyway (daughter has 5 1/2 more months of school with him - and then what, do I take him off as a friend?), or do I explain this to him, or do I just ignore it and hope he forgets or isn't insulted?

What do you think?
 

sarahp

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Just ignore the request. I agree that's quite uncomfortable and weird. I wouldn't want him to be able to access all that info either. If he questions that, just tell him you'd prefer to keep your personal information private.

The nurse practitioner from my cardiologist's office is an awesome guy, and my hubby and I think he's the bees knees - we generally go to him with any heart concerns. We discovered him on Facebook, then decided it would be weird to add him as a friend because he's a medical provider, and that would be a weird boundary to cross. I think teachers, doctors and service providers (accountant, banker etc) should be kept separate from personal stuff unless you get to know them REALLY well first.
 

cococat

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I would do nothing, essentially ignore. I wouldn't approve it if it makes you uncomfortable.
 

rapunzel47

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I'd ignore the request, and if he should ask, just tell him that you only accept family as Facebook friends.
 

sarahp

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Originally Posted by cococat

Obviously I meant uncomfortable. Will go back and change
I think I was having a weird moment.... I had meant to quote another post in another thread with my comment - I had 2 tabs open and posted in the wrong thread
I just deleted that post...
 

strange_wings

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How does he know you have facebook to begin with? Simply don't tell people about it and you should be able to mostly avoid situations like these.
 

pushylady

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People have asked me to be their Facebook friends, but I don't have a Facebook account so I don't!
 

zoeysmom

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Wow, that's weird. I agree with those saying just to ignore it. Chances are he won't bring it up anyway.

As a teacher, I know I would have NO interest in having any of my students' parents as friends on my Facebook. I feel uncomfortable even seeing them in the grocery store, especially if I am with my boyfriend. I feel like I always need to have my "teacher hat" on.

Now, I will admit to searching a couple of parents on Facebook. Out of pure nosiness, with absolutely no intention of ever adding them to my friends.
 

sarahp

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Originally Posted by strange_wings

How does he know you have facebook to begin with? Simply don't tell people about it and you should be able to mostly avoid situations like these.
All you have to do is type in someone's name to find them. Or it will suggest people you may know - it does this by seeing which friends your other friends have in common.
 

carolpetunia

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It may be that he's new to Facebook and doesn't understand how it works... he may not realize that there's a privacy issue involved. I didn't know that at first myself, so I added a couple of political figures as friends -- and now I imagine Barack and Michelle are sitting up nights, laughing at my family pictures...
 

strange_wings

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Originally Posted by sarahp

All you have to do is type in someone's name to find them. Or it will suggest people you may know - it does this by seeing which friends your other friends have in common.
If she only has a few other people, that shouldn't be very easy to do.
As for the other, pretend you don't know what the guy is talking about - maybe he'll think he found the wrong person.
 

catsknowme

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Originally Posted by sarahp

All you have to do is type in someone's name to find them. Or it will suggest people you may know - it does this by seeing which friends your other friends have in common.
Facebook may have made the original recommendation. However, since you don't feel comfortable about it, I would explain that your Facebook page is for family only. If he looks hurt, explain that it's for the female members & they like to be able to openly discuss "mysterious chix stuff" - that should allow a graceful exit with no hurt feelings
 

dragoriana

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If it were me i would be frank with him, and tell him i only use facebook so that my family and i can speak to eachother.

If he becomes insulted, it is his problem, you have the right to privacy and to say no to someone you hardly know.
 
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