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Awkward Situation

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
Our daughter's teacher has requested that he and I be friends on FaceBook. This is very awkward for me; I have only five very good friends on FaceBook, and I don't particularly want our daughter's teacher accessing our friend and family pictures.

I only know him from saying hello at the school and from the usual parent/teacher meetings. I know some people add everyone they know to their account...

Do I add him anyway (daughter has 5 1/2 more months of school with him - and then what, do I take him off as a friend?), or do I explain this to him, or do I just ignore it and hope he forgets or isn't insulted?

What do you think?
post #2 of 26
I would not add him.
Why should see things you do not want him to see.
post #3 of 26
Just ignore the request. I agree that's quite uncomfortable and weird. I wouldn't want him to be able to access all that info either. If he questions that, just tell him you'd prefer to keep your personal information private.

The nurse practitioner from my cardiologist's office is an awesome guy, and my hubby and I think he's the bees knees - we generally go to him with any heart concerns. We discovered him on Facebook, then decided it would be weird to add him as a friend because he's a medical provider, and that would be a weird boundary to cross. I think teachers, doctors and service providers (accountant, banker etc) should be kept separate from personal stuff unless you get to know them REALLY well first.
post #4 of 26
I would do nothing, essentially ignore. I wouldn't approve it if it makes you uncomfortable.
post #5 of 26
I think it's really weird that he even asked!
post #6 of 26
I'd ignore the request, and if he should ask, just tell him that you only accept family as Facebook friends.
post #7 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahp View Post
Maybe!!!
Obviously I meant uncomfortable. Will go back and change
post #8 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by cococat View Post
Obviously I meant uncomfortable. Will go back and change
I think I was having a weird moment.... I had meant to quote another post in another thread with my comment - I had 2 tabs open and posted in the wrong thread I just deleted that post...
post #9 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahp View Post
I think I was having a weird moment.... I had meant to ..
you and me both!
post #10 of 26
That's made me feel uneasy?!. Definitely not!
post #11 of 26
If I were you I'd ignore the request.
post #12 of 26
How does he know you have facebook to begin with? Simply don't tell people about it and you should be able to mostly avoid situations like these.
post #13 of 26
People have asked me to be their Facebook friends, but I don't have a Facebook account so I don't!
post #14 of 26
Wow, that's weird. I agree with those saying just to ignore it. Chances are he won't bring it up anyway.

As a teacher, I know I would have NO interest in having any of my students' parents as friends on my Facebook. I feel uncomfortable even seeing them in the grocery store, especially if I am with my boyfriend. I feel like I always need to have my "teacher hat" on.

Now, I will admit to searching a couple of parents on Facebook. Out of pure nosiness, with absolutely no intention of ever adding them to my friends.
post #15 of 26
It is weird. I would ignore his request.
post #16 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by strange_wings View Post
How does he know you have facebook to begin with? Simply don't tell people about it and you should be able to mostly avoid situations like these.
All you have to do is type in someone's name to find them. Or it will suggest people you may know - it does this by seeing which friends your other friends have in common.
post #17 of 26
It may be that he's new to Facebook and doesn't understand how it works... he may not realize that there's a privacy issue involved. I didn't know that at first myself, so I added a couple of political figures as friends -- and now I imagine Barack and Michelle are sitting up nights, laughing at my family pictures...
post #18 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahp View Post
All you have to do is type in someone's name to find them. Or it will suggest people you may know - it does this by seeing which friends your other friends have in common.
If she only has a few other people, that shouldn't be very easy to do.
As for the other, pretend you don't know what the guy is talking about - maybe he'll think he found the wrong person.
post #19 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahp View Post
All you have to do is type in someone's name to find them. Or it will suggest people you may know - it does this by seeing which friends your other friends have in common.
Facebook may have made the original recommendation. However, since you don't feel comfortable about it, I would explain that your Facebook page is for family only. If he looks hurt, explain that it's for the female members & they like to be able to openly discuss "mysterious chix stuff" - that should allow a graceful exit with no hurt feelings
post #20 of 26
If it were me i would be frank with him, and tell him i only use facebook so that my family and i can speak to eachother.

If he becomes insulted, it is his problem, you have the right to privacy and to say no to someone you hardly know.
post #21 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwampWitch View Post
Our daughter's teacher has requested that he and I be friends on FaceBook. This is very awkward for me; I have only five very good friends on FaceBook, and I don't particularly want our daughter's teacher accessing our friend and family pictures.

I only know him from saying hello at the school and from the usual parent/teacher meetings. I know some people add everyone they know to their account...

Do I add him anyway (daughter has 5 1/2 more months of school with him - and then what, do I take him off as a friend?), or do I explain this to him, or do I just ignore it and hope he forgets or isn't insulted?

What do you think?

I didn't read through everyone else's responses but, if it were me I would do 1 of 2 things:

just ignore it.... and if he brings it up (in conversation, sends u a msg, etc) then you could always put him on limited profile if you want to add him...then he would only see what you want him to see.
post #22 of 26
I just thought of this: Did you communicate to the teacher via email in the past? The is the option to let Facebook search your email contacts and invite them as friends on Facebook. That could be what happened as well.

Either way, it won't outrightly tell him that you've refused his request. You just won't show up as a friend for him. Half the time I can't remember who I requested to be friends. So, he quite likely won't even notice. And if he does and brings it up, well, I guess you can cross that bridge when you get there....but, I would say if he does bring it up, he has serious professionalism issues!
post #23 of 26
If he has your email, Facebook will connect your email address to your Facebook account and very possibly ask him if he wants to add these people from his email account in a group.

My nephews teacher sends me weekly updates, so her name came up on m Facebook email request.
post #24 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoeysmom View Post
I just thought of this: Did you communicate to the teacher via email in the past? The is the option to let Facebook search your email contacts and invite them as friends on Facebook. That could be what happened as well.

Either way, it won't outrightly tell him that you've refused his request. You just won't show up as a friend for him. Half the time I can't remember who I requested to be friends. So, he quite likely won't even notice. And if he does and brings it up, well, I guess you can cross that bridge when you get there....but, I would say if he does bring it up, he has serious professionalism issues!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pami View Post
If he has your email, Facebook will connect your email address to your Facebook account and very possibly ask him if he wants to add these people from his email account in a group.

My nephews teacher sends me weekly updates, so her name came up on m Facebook email request.
We have communicated by email, maybe that's what happened!

I can't lie to him... I am a bad liar and no doubt my daughter will ask why I'm lying and why we tell her she can't!

Thank you everyone for the suggestions, I think I'm going to ignore it.
post #25 of 26
In my experience, a lot of people on facebook are 'friend collectors' and add anyone they possibly can to their friend list. He probably sent a request to everyone he had ever emailed and wont notice that you ignore his request.
post #26 of 26
Quote:
In my experience, a lot of people on facebook are 'friend collectors' and add anyone they possibly can to their friend list.
Exactly. I looked at DD's page the other day and she has over 500 friends! One boy in particular that she had asked if she could be on his friends list emailed her saying, "Do I know you?" When she told him they'd gone to the same high school (over 1800 students) he told her, "Just because we went to the same school doesn't mean I know you." I believe DD was stunned.

Sorry, went off on a tangent there. While my initial thought would be to ignore the teacher's request, I suppose that if he brought up the subject again I would tell him you only had close personal friends/family members on your list.
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