I'm completely fed up!

This is about my ongoing plight with that nursing assistant at work who thinks she runs the place and tries to order around the nurses and tell them what to do.

She pulled another one of her stunts on me inside a patient's room. I went to the charge nurse and told her that if this girl doesn't stop trying to undermine me I'm going to choke her!

I went and sat down in the back and charted on a patient, and then decided that was enough!

I said right in front of a whole bunch of staff "Jane (not her real name), I'd like to speak to you privately" and then went into the medication room.

I told her flat out that I didn't appreciate what she did in that patient's room. I told her that I appreciate her trying to help, and that I know she's been on the ward a good many years, but that she's a nursing assistant, not the nurse, and that by her questioning or correcting me in front of a patient, not only undermines me, but it also gives the patient the impression that I don't know what I'm doing or talking about and as a result they lose confidence in my ability to care for them.

I told her flat out that I appreciate her trying to help, and I acknowledge that I'm relatively new to the area and realize that there are things that I am still learning and figuring out as I go along, but that in the future if she feels she has something she wants to share that she thinks will help me, to ask me to step out of the room and talk to me in private, and to not do it in earshot of the patient. And I told her in no uncertain terms that she better not do it again or there will be consequences beyond my talking to her about it.

She said that she would discuss it with me in private in the future instead of in front of the patient. Now we'll see if anything changes.

Good for you for standing up for yourself.

I hope she does intend to come to you in private from now on. There's nothing like working with someone who seems to 'know-it-all' or likes to make our job harder than it already is.

Good on you, that's the best way to handle it. I hope she realises pretty soon that her attitude needs to change!

She's a very "forceful" personality.... aggressive actually.

I tried to talk to her in a non-confrontational way. I started by acknowledging her years on the ward and thus her experience, but then I made a specific point to mention that she was a nursing assistant, not a nurse.

She seemed to take it well. Better than I thought.

I also made it a point to correct some patients' families today when they referred to her as "the other nurse" when telling me what she had told them (again, stuff that was exactly the opposite of what I had told them earlier). I made sure they knew that she was a "nursing assistant" and not a nurse.

some one needed to say it. Good for you

Good on you!
Well done for standing up for yourself and saying what needed to be said!

I'm so glad to hear you did this!!! I hope she at least feels that now you aren't someone to be walked over like that. Maybe if the others see that they need to stand up to her; she'll really learn something. Or at least go find somewhere else to work....

Good for you for standing up to her!

It sounds as if she make everything very difficult.

I"m proud of you for standing up to a bully! She may think twice about pulling stunts on you. But don't be surprised if she starts trying to undermine you behind your back. I would go back to your bosses and let them know what you did so they know. First one to the boss with a story wins. This is why I HATE HATE HATE offices of any kind. You have to expend a certain percentage of your mental and physical energy dealing with people like this, instead of channeling that energy into your job -- which is what THEY ARE PAYING YOU TO DO! It's unfortunate that mgt has let this kind of thing go on so long. But it doesn't surprise me...

Originally Posted by AddieBee

...This is why I HATE HATE HATE offices of any kind. You have to expend a certain percentage of your mental and physical energy dealing with people like this, instead of channeling that energy into your job -- which is what THEY ARE PAYING YOU TO DO! It's unfortunate that mgt has let this kind of thing go on so long. But it doesn't surprise me...

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My sentiments exactly!

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

She's a very "forceful" personality.... aggressive actually.

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She's probably a TJ of some sort, and you two are conflicting on the J. If she's an intuitive there's going to be friction because you're a sensor type.

What you see as aggressive or forceful is merely confidence, along with a bit of social immaturity or maybe even complete lack on her part to even realize what she is doing.


Now, as for what you're doing. You're completely judging and talking poorly about a person where they have absolutely no chance of defending themselves. You're certainly not a victim here, and annoyance isn't an excuse to bypass working things out with her first.
I'm glad you actually spoke to her about her speaking in front of the patients - chances are she didn't realize what she was doing to you and you were just fuming over what was not an intended slight towards you. Or maybe she really is that difficult - I'm playing devil's advocate here to try to be fair.

Ultimately, my guess is she is simply one of the personality types that are harder to deal with (xNTJ's tend to be because they're the minority in the general population). Being one myself, I can see things from the other side and rather dislike it when people assume things because they do not understand or because they feel threatened in some way.